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Navy destroyer collides with building in downtown Houston [satire]
Duffleblog ^ | 29 Aug 2017

Posted on 08/29/2017 8:47:31 PM PDT by rey

HOUSTON — As if the city of Houston hasn’t seen enough tragedy due to catastrophic flooding from Hurricane Harvey, things took a turn for the worse today after a U.S. Navy ship collided with a building in the downtown area.

The ship was identified as an Arleigh Burke-class destroyer belonging to the Navy’s 7th Fleet.

It was unclear why the destroyer was not able to see the building and take evasive action, or why it was over 20 miles inland and trying to navigate through a major metropolitan area.

“I had climbed up on my roof due to dem risin’ flood waters, when I saw a big ship sailin’ down the street,” said Georgia Brown, a resident who witnessed the incident. “I says to myself ‘Oh Lawdy, someone’s done come to rescue us!’ and then it sails right past my house and smack straight into that yonder building.”

This marks the fifth collision incident this summer for destroyers from the Navy’s beleaguered 7th Fleet, following incidents involving the USS Fitzgerald, USS John S. McCain, and the USS Ted Kennedy.

The Navy declined to comment on the cause of the collision, citing an ongoing investigation, although it did say the captain had been promptly relieved of his command.

Despite reticence from the Navy, a senior defense official speculated the ship had likely veered off course from its patrol route in the South China Sea.

Navy officials say they are planning a number of PowerPoint trainings related to urban maritime navigation.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: crap; harvey; houston; notarealnewsoutlet; satier; satire; stupid; usnavy
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1 posted on 08/29/2017 8:47:31 PM PDT by rey
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To: rey

No one named John Smith should ever be in charge of a ship /S

And, duh, yeah, this is probably satire


2 posted on 08/29/2017 8:49:40 PM PDT by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH-pk2vZG2M)
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To: Vendome

>And, duh, yeah, this is probably satire

“probably”


3 posted on 08/29/2017 8:50:29 PM PDT by JohnyBoy (We should forgive communists, but not before they are hanged.)
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To: rey

OMG, Georgia Brown? That’s too much LOL


4 posted on 08/29/2017 8:51:00 PM PDT by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH-pk2vZG2M)
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To: JohnyBoy

Prolly or most maybe...


5 posted on 08/29/2017 8:52:13 PM PDT by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH-pk2vZG2M)
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To: Vendome

How do you do that?


6 posted on 08/29/2017 8:52:38 PM PDT by DIRTYSECRET (urope. Why do they put up with this.)
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To: DIRTYSECRET

Carefully and with aplomb...


7 posted on 08/29/2017 8:54:14 PM PDT by Vendome (I've Gotta Be Me - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wH-pk2vZG2M)
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To: rey
Despite reticence from the Navy, a senior defense official speculated the ship had likely veered off course from its patrol route in the South China Sea. Navy officials say they are planning a number of PowerPoint trainings related to urban maritime navigation.

Funny...

8 posted on 08/29/2017 8:55:05 PM PDT by GOPJ
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To: rey
“I had climbed up on my roof due to dem risin’ flood waters, when I saw a big ship sailin’ down the street,” said Georgia Brown, a resident who witnessed the incident. “I says to myself ‘Oh Lawdy, someone’s done come to rescue us!’ and then it sails right past my house and smack straight into that yonder building.”
9 posted on 08/29/2017 8:56:22 PM PDT by ETL (See my FR Home page for a closer look at today's Communist/Anarchist protest groups)
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To: rey

Another result of global warming. Impeach the denier.


10 posted on 08/29/2017 8:56:42 PM PDT by Raycpa
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To: rey

I was in the military, but not the Navy. For some reason, this doesn’t seem funny to me in the least.


11 posted on 08/29/2017 8:56:46 PM PDT by dragnet2 (Diversion and evasion are tools of deceit)
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To: Vendome

...a plum??


12 posted on 08/29/2017 8:57:34 PM PDT by clyde260 (Public Enemy #1: Network News!)
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To: rey
Well, of course it's satire. This couldn't happen. 7th fleet is in the western Pacific.

And destroyers don't hit buildings. Most of the time. Well, less than 50%, anyway.

13 posted on 08/29/2017 8:57:45 PM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: rey

If only the stationary building had heeded the demands of the navy ship to heave to....


14 posted on 08/29/2017 8:58:36 PM PDT by kingu (Everything starts with slashing the size and scope of the federal government.)
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To: rey

OMG I’m bustin’ a gut over here.


15 posted on 08/29/2017 9:01:51 PM PDT by gubamyster
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To: rey

For a while there I must admit, I was beginning to think that satire was all but dead but I do now think, little darlin’ here comes the sun.


16 posted on 08/29/2017 9:04:32 PM PDT by infool7 (Pray, Think, Act)
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To: rey

Apparently the watch had been relieved to attend mandatory x-gender sensitivity training....


17 posted on 08/29/2017 9:05:23 PM PDT by clintonh8r (AMERICA! THANK YOU FOR MAKING MY SCREEN NAME OBSOLETE!)
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To: gubamyster

Me too. I laughed so hard my side hurts.


18 posted on 08/29/2017 9:05:37 PM PDT by sasportas
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To: rey

LOL. Are we SURE it’s satire?


19 posted on 08/29/2017 9:05:49 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom
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To: rey
I am surprised it didn't collide with Osteen's big yacht.

20 posted on 08/29/2017 9:06:00 PM PDT by TomGuy
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