80 Per Cent Decline in Religious Funerals as Mourners Opt for Golf Courses and Zoos Over Churches

The Daily Telegraph (UK) ^ | 8/29/19 | Gabriella Swerling

[xp38]

gallows humor :)

[Salvation]

No, the ashes need to be buried.

[Cronos]

Dammit, “Europe “ is 40 countries. I assure you that Poland, Czechia, Hungary, Italy and Spain, even the Flemish part of Belgium, are less secular than the USA

[A Formerly Proud Canadian]

Cats dig ‘em up, though.

[Black Agnes]

One of the churches I attended while growing up in Africa is in fact sending missionaries to Europe. IIRC they have a couple of families in France and some more in the UK. There is active discussion of sending some to the US.

[Viking2002]

I know how you feel. A dozen years ago, my late mother-in-law died of uterine cancer. She never really liked me, or vice-versa. But we had a healthy respect for each other - I had more noble intentions for her daughter than some of the deadbeats she either married or shacked up with. When she passed, a service was held at her church. Her ashes were immediately transferred from the church to the cemetery for burial - right beside her husband. No hearse, or course, but no nothing indicating it was a funeral procession. Just cars, arriving in ones and twos. Now, I was brought up in a a proper Methodist church, and it was considered a dignified process to bury your dead, ashes or coffin. You dressed dignified. My wife and I showed up, and the pastor (this is a Southern Baptist church) was wearing slacks and Crocs. My brother-in-law - who is a deacon - was wearing shorts and flip-flops. The rest were dressed like they were stopping for a burger at McDonald's. Me? Black slacks, black tie, black dress shoes, dark shirt. Once the ceremony was over and we had left, my wife asks, "Why are you all dressed up? Nobody else dressed like that." I was left so stunned that I couldn't formulate an articulate reply to her. But the one word that kept bouncing back and forth through my head was, 'Ignoramuses'. It was just totally lost on all of them. Here I was, a punching bag for a so-called 'Christian' woman who learned that jousting with me was not as easy as she though it would be, and there I was, treating the entire situtaion with more dignity than her so-called brood could muster up when it was time to say goodbye. I've seen so much self-righteous, cross on your sleeve, false piety here in the South, it makes me sick.

[Seruzawa]

I think a funeral ala the Big Lebowski would be cool.

[Seruzawa]

Not bad but the best epitaph ever is unbeatable. Mel Blanc’s “That’s All Folks”.

[Nateman]

...wealthy people have already been buried at either Disneyland .

It is already an issue . Folks deposit the ashes there , esp. in the water areas.

[Nateman]

[Yaelle]

But still you guys are so funny. I have no gambling bug but they re fun to hang with.

[Vermont Lt]

The soul is gone.

No sure that how we dispose of a body makes one iota’s difference to God. Obviously, it should be respectful—but it has nothing to do with God.

[NTHockey]

I’m choosing burial at sea. Might as well feed the fishes than become fertilizer. We conducted a (symbolic) burial at sea on board Princeton. Remains of a lost WWII sub were discovered. Bodies and sub could not be recovered (too deep and too long), so Marine Guard did the honors.

[Apple Pan Dowdy]

“We need to send missionaries over there to save the good ones. What if we were in their spot?”

The Presbyterian (PCA) church I am at supports a missionary family that is now based in London.

[cgbg]

I told my wife when I die she can do whatever she wants with my body--
"I won't be able to argue with you."

The dead need to cut the living some slack! ;-)

[COBOL2Java]

Even cremated ashes must be buried.

Or interred in a columbarium, as my wife was and I will be.

[layman]

I have always dreaded funerals homes and burial services, etc. .... I don’t wish to put my family through it, so please handle my passing as follows.
I want no funeral home viewings or services. I want to be simply and quietly cremated. I’d like my ashes saved until one of my children or grandchildren plants a tree in their yard ... my ashes to be added to the tree roots.
The tree will grow over the years to the point where its strong branches will support a swing for children to play on ... its broad leafs will provide shade over the driveway, cooling the family car ... its smaller branches will provide a welcome short resting place for a busy sparrow or robin ... from which, filthy creatures that they are, they can poop on the family car windshield.
In this way I might be kindly remembered in the future any time you discover bird crap on your windshield.

[dfwgator]

“Hey....you’re young and swingin’....”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXRxYLfq78g

[Biggirl]

More often then that, there are folks who simply take home the urn and wait until money can be found to bury or entombed at a later date.

[bgill]

It’d be cheaper to roll grandma into the golf course pond or feed her to the lions. Maybe they’d get a tax break with that zoo donation.