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I know how you feel. A dozen years ago, my late mother-in-law died of uterine cancer. She never really liked me, or vice-versa. But we had a healthy respect for each other - I had more noble intentions for her daughter than some of the deadbeats she either married or shacked up with. When she passed, a service was held at her church. Her ashes were immediately transferred from the church to the cemetery for burial - right beside her husband. No hearse, or course, but no nothing indicating it was a funeral procession. Just cars, arriving in ones and twos. Now, I was brought up in a a proper Methodist church, and it was considered a dignified process to bury your dead, ashes or coffin. You dressed dignified. My wife and I showed up, and the pastor (this is a Southern Baptist church) was wearing slacks and Crocs. My brother-in-law - who is a deacon - was wearing shorts and flip-flops. The rest were dressed like they were stopping for a burger at McDonald's. Me? Black slacks, black tie, black dress shoes, dark shirt. Once the ceremony was over and we had left, my wife asks, "Why are you all dressed up? Nobody else dressed like that." I was left so stunned that I couldn't formulate an articulate reply to her. But the one word that kept bouncing back and forth through my head was, 'Ignoramuses'. It was just totally lost on all of them. Here I was, a punching bag for a so-called 'Christian' woman who learned that jousting with me was not as easy as she though it would be, and there I was, treating the entire situtaion with more dignity than her so-called brood could muster up when it was time to say goodbye. I've seen so much self-righteous, cross on your sleeve, false piety here in the South, it makes me sick.