This is surely one way to help you to stand out a bit from the crowd in most churches...
LOL.
Or on me, who was to read the liturgy and actually accidentally eliminated four verses, which the pastor had based his whole sermon on. I could just kick myself and have been kicking myself since last Sunday.
During an inspired season, I was listening to a sermon about the deceiver. In the moment, I hollered out “He’s a liar”.
The pastor suddenly stopped, all got quiet, and the pastor looked right at me. Realizing the moment, I quickly qualified aloud “Satan is a liar”. The pastor, relieved to understand the context of my earlier outburst continued.
The entire thing is a scam for money by professional Christians intercepting money meant for God when God does not need your money. The word “church” was not in the Bible until 1611. The Greek word was Ekklesia” for 1611 years which meant “The called out” or simply “the believer” . All this brick and mortar, preacher , choir, pulpit stuff is not in the Bible. It is all a money scam. By the way , a “professional Christian “ is further anyone that takes money and uses it for house payments, car payment, 401k, kids college, personal use etc., in the name of God. That included preachers— staff— worship musicians etc. etc. Anyone who lives off of “ gifts or tithes to God”.
I don’t remember specifically, but my folks used to remind me on occasion - in 1955 at age 3, I announced “I gotta pee” during a pause in the sermon - loud enough for the entire congregation to hear. I was told it was funny at the time.
Wearing a suit and tie to church. Seriously.
Also, in most churches, one can also draw attention to oneself by pulling a live Canebreak Rattlesnake out of a burlap sack during the sermon and then passing said rattler to one's neighbor...
...in most churches...
I think I might do #4 myself.
Funny stuff!.
This one hit my funny bone as well:
http://babylonbee.com/news/9-extreme-games-for-your-next-youth-group-meeting/
Yell out “It’s in Second Ephesians” or “Third Timothy”
That’s funny. I actually do use an air horn in church.
I lead a Trail Life USA boys adventure troop at our church. When we need to get the boys back together in the auditorium, I blast an air horn. Bells are for sissies.
I’ve got one. We attended a fund raiser for a missions organization. 1000 people or so there. Dinner and presentation. At the very end, as the president of the organization was making his speech to “seal the deal”..... my cell phone laying on the table, by itself, decided to play a song at top volume, which I could not shut off. I walked out of the hotel convention room with it playing Travis Tritt.... “Here’s A Quarter, Call Someone Who Cares”
7.) “Amen” after literally every sentence the pastor says. “It’s great to be here this morning!” “Amen!” “Please turn with me to the book of Acts.” “Amen!” “And now, for our final sermon point.” “Amen!”
I've literally seen this happen time and again. The rest, not so much!
Oh, forget the air horn.
Too easy to hide in the crowd and not be seen.
For maximum effect, bring your 6 foot long shofar and stand at the front during worship and blow it every minute during the worship music, especially if it's during the *free worship*.
And, hey, don't forget your flags so you can flag during the worship and nearly poke someone's eye out cause you weren't looking at what you were doing. Especially since you will be doing it with your eyes closed as you walk back and forth across the front to look even more spiritual.
And then if you are at least fifty pounds overweight, come to church dressed in a tank top and shorts and *dance* across the front of the church.
(I wish I were kidding. On all of them. Some things can't be unseen.)
Wear your Sunday best including a hat for women.
Some of these would go unnoticed In some churches,
Or a pastor in his sermon who was talking about Jesus healing the woman who suffered from a “bloody flux”, but mispronounced it (yep, he did and had probably spent all morning practicing so he WOULDN’T make that mistake).:-O