A security guard outside the U.S. Embassy to the Vatican checks for dangerous religious medals.
Posted on 12/02/2013 3:47:37 AM PST by markomalley
A security guard outside the U.S. Embassy to the Vatican checks for dangerous religious medals. |
ROME (EotT) The recent decision to close the current “free-standing” U.S. Embassy to the Holy See was made because of “growing fears of a Benghazi-like terrorost attack” led by 60 to 90-year-old zealot priests and nuns stationed in the Vatican, the U.S. State Department confirmed today.
The decision has led to sharp criticism by Vatican officials who say that the U.S. has not clearly specified any plot to overtake the embassy. But U.S. intelligence officials say they have been tracking a growing threat against American and Western targets from Vatican’s affiliate organizations and religious orders for the last several weeks.
There has been additional intelligence about a potential attack on the embassy to the Holy See by several leaders of religious orders near and within the Vatican, leading to the Obama administration’s decision to shut down the embassy, and to warn publicly of the threat, U.S. officials tell EOTT.
“Based on the intelligence,” officials say, “there is particular concern about the U.S. Embassy at this time. Today marks the beginning of Advent, and officials say they are concerned about attacks in the days to come.”
The official went on to tell reporters that a higher-than-normal threat stream coming from telephone intercepts have revealed that at least two religious orders have made clear their intentions on “walking to the embassy very, very slowly, and after a little break to catch their breaths, to potentially pelt the embassy with Miraculous Medals.”
“We need to take every precaution that we can,” one official said. “Some zealots are very, very angry about the Obamacare mandate requiring that insurance provide free coverage for contraception and sterilization services and drugs they consider abortion-inducing. We believe they may be planning to attack with other religious medals as well, and to violently say rosaries in front of the embassy to perhaps try and convert the hearts and minds of U.S. officials. We must take every precaution that such a thing does not happen.”
You've been warned.
You can tell the really dangerous ones by their scapulars.
Suicide Nuns? No...nuns with pointers and yardsticks ready to give me noogies and crack my knuckles...that is my nightmare.
What difference does it make now?
It’s that pointy hat the Pope wears....looks sharp and dangerous to me....he could gore somebody!
You leave Gore out of this!
Please put “humor” or “satire” in headline. I highly resent having my time wasted by a juvenile FReeper who rings the digital doorbell and then runs away. Cheap. Shallow. Childish.
Fear the Dominicans. “The Hounds of God.”
No! Not the comfy chair! !
Your digital doorbell won’t save you now, Old Woman!
(Pardon me while I go mix some more metaphors.)
Yeah, but some of those old nuns can be really tough.....
I always knew those sisters had some bad habits...
They seemed perpetually cross with me.
Please put “humor” or “satire” in headline.
&&&
The blurb didn’t tip you off? Yipes!
Now, now, we’ll have nun of that!
Watch yer step or you’ll get yer knuckles ctacked by Sister Mary Immaculata of the Holy Tree of Jerusalem and Sister May Moses of the Burning Bush All Lit Up!
Oh, thank goodness this is satire.
Oh dear God...not the flying monkeys!!!
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