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Report: Jesus Spoke With Spectacular British Accent
Eye of the Tiber ^ | 11/17/2013

Posted on 11/17/2013 5:15:36 PM PST by markomalley

Lansing, MI––A recently discovered DVD found in the attic of the Williams family last night has shed light on the language and accent used by the Son of God while on earth, the Lansing family is reporting this morning.

After close to 2,000 years, the mystery of Jesus’ dialect and accent was answered after the Williams family’s stunning find while watching a DVD of the 1977 television miniseries of Jesus of Nazareth produced by the BBC.

The 2-DVD set, which many in the Williams family believed was “lost forever” showed Jesus of Nazareth speaking in English, a shocking revelation to many who long believed he spoke Aramaic.

“We simply couldn’t believe our ears,” Jan Williams, 54, reported to EOTT this morning.

“I remember, Jesus finally appears in the movie, ready to be baptized by John the Baptist, and John says something like, ‘It is I who needs to be baptized by you, and yet, you come to me.’ Then Jesus says, ‘Let it be so…we must fulfill all righteousness’ in the most spectacular British accent.”

19-year-old Wendy Williams reported that his british accent was not only ”stirring,” but that it also contained the dramatic inflection and timing of a “wonderful” stage actor.

“It was as though you were listening to the renowned British actor Robert Powell.”

At press time, biblical scholars from around the globe are investigating reports that Jesus yelled a lot, and that he did not bleed as much as portrayed in The Passion of the Christ.


TOPICS: Catholic; Humor
KEYWORDS: bbc; jesus; language; satire
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1 posted on 11/17/2013 5:15:37 PM PST by markomalley
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You've been warned.

2 posted on 11/17/2013 5:18:36 PM PST by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
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To: markomalley

It’s a well-known fact. /s


3 posted on 11/17/2013 5:18:43 PM PST by vladimir998
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To: markomalley

So did Moses, Ramses, Achilles, Agamemnon, Cleopatra, Caesar, Brutus, Seneca, etc.


4 posted on 11/17/2013 5:18:57 PM PST by rfp1234 (Impeach We Much!)
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To: Gamecock; Alex Murphy

Thought you two might enjoy this...ping...


5 posted on 11/17/2013 5:19:09 PM PST by markomalley (Nothing emboldens the wicked so greatly as the lack of courage on the part of the good -- Leo XIII)
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To: markomalley

Jesus was white?


6 posted on 11/17/2013 5:19:59 PM PST by ConservativeInPA (Molon Labe - shall not be questioned)
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To: markomalley

I thought he spoke more like Sean Connery.


7 posted on 11/17/2013 5:21:25 PM PST by Conspiracy Guy (On the evening of 10/16/13, the ailing republican party breathed its last breath.)
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To: rfp1234

Not when Moses spoke like Charlton Heston . . .


8 posted on 11/17/2013 5:22:16 PM PST by Olog-hai
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To: markomalley

Well, there are those stories about Jesus studying in Britain...and since he is God, the could easily bypass all that pesky language development throughout the centuries...


9 posted on 11/17/2013 5:24:11 PM PST by Calvin Locke
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To: Conspiracy Guy

Well anyway, I’m pretty sure he didn’t sound like Max Von Sydow.


10 posted on 11/17/2013 5:24:20 PM PST by Argus
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To: markomalley

My answer to satire

@#$% !!!


11 posted on 11/17/2013 5:24:46 PM PST by WildHighlander57 ((WildHighlander57 returning after lurking since 2000))
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To: markomalley
Hahaha.

The Brits DO make so many movies, especially old ones, that when there ISN'T a Brit accent, I wonder.

12 posted on 11/17/2013 5:25:07 PM PST by cloudmountain
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To: markomalley

And Capt. Picquard of Star Trek fame who grew up in France and worked in a vineyard spoke with a British accent as well. Funny how it gets around. Which also brings up the question: People from England came to America but we don’t speak with an English accent but yet those that went to Australia do in a way along with some of their slang and idioms.


13 posted on 11/17/2013 5:25:57 PM PST by SkyDancer (Live your life in such a way that the Westboro church will want to picket your funeral.)
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To: ConservativeInPA

“The already proved that Jesus was an Ethiopian.” /George Jefferson’s B-I-L?


14 posted on 11/17/2013 5:26:12 PM PST by Calvin Locke
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To: Calvin Locke

And was the holy Lamb of God on England’s pleasant pastures seen?


15 posted on 11/17/2013 5:26:18 PM PST by Argus
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To: markomalley
Usually, it's "British scientists have discovered...."
It's almost a cliche.
16 posted on 11/17/2013 5:26:22 PM PST by cloudmountain
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To: markomalley; Alex Murphy

Many her on FR will say He spoke English as spoken circa 1611. As a matter of fact they will say everyone in the Bible spoke King James English.


17 posted on 11/17/2013 5:26:22 PM PST by Gamecock (If you like your constitution, you can keep your constitution. Period. (M.S.))
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To: markomalley

It’s real...and it’s spectacular.


18 posted on 11/17/2013 5:27:19 PM PST by AndrewB (FUBO)
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To: ConservativeInPA
Jesus was white?

Jesus is just all white with me, jesus is just all white, oh yeah
Jesus is just all white with me, jesus is just all white

I don't care what they may say
I don't care what they may do
I don't care what they may say
Jesus is just all white, oh yeah
Jesus is just all white

19 posted on 11/17/2013 5:30:13 PM PST by null and void (I'm betting on an Obama Trifecta: A Nobel Peace Prize, an Impeachment, AND a War Crimes Trial...)
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To: markomalley
There was a semi-tongue in cheek episode of the X-Files titled "The Lazarus Bowl," that was built on (what I thought was) a pretty cool premise: as Christ spoke the words resurrecting Lazarus, a potter nearby was forming a bowl and the words were recorded a la a phonograph...
20 posted on 11/17/2013 5:33:12 PM PST by Joe 6-pack (Qui me amat, amat et canem meum.)
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