Morford: Yay, Giant Stone Vaginas

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, July 23, 2003 | Mark Morford, Bathroom Humor Affecianado

[presidio9]

Stonehenge. Buncha rocks. Assortment of really huge really old really gray really heavy stones over there in really old gray heavy England. You know the ones. Turns out it's really a giant vagina. Who knew?

No, really. Look at it from above. Notice, like those Canadian researchers did, the outline, the general shape, that come-hither winkingly divine invitation that enchants all of life and confounds the GOP and makes grown men weep. Then ask your nearest female paramour to please remove her pants. You need to compare. See? Ahh. Mystery solved.

[Zavien Doombringer]

What!!!???? NO PHOTOS!

[Cincinatus]

What does Mark Morford know about vaginas?

[Spyder]

What!!!???? NO PHOTOS!

Somebody needs to find the one that was posted here with Kerry's face as one of the Easter Island stone statues.

[NeoCaveman]

I never thought I'd see Miss mordford write the words "Yay" and "Vaginas" in the same sentence.

[Zavien Doombringer]

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/object.cgi?object=/gate/pictures/2003/07/23/stonehenge.jpg&paper=gate&file=notes072303.DTL&directory=/g/a/2003/07/23&type=morford

[finnman69]

WHAT! No Bush bashing? I was looking and looking but never found it.

I think the metaamphetamines from the night before must not have worn off when he wrote this.

[dead]

"That's not writing. That's typing."
-Truman Capote

[Noumenon]

Mr. Morford's personal, ah, proclivities are a guarantees that he is problem that will solve itself.

[GodBlessRonaldReagan]

I never thought I'd see Miss mordford write the words "Yay" and "Vaginas" in the same sentence.

Ms. Morford wishes he had a vagina...

[socal_parrot]

I gotta get out more, I'm just not seeing it.

[finnman69]

With luck, Morford's DNA will never pollute the already mucked up world gene pool.

[headsonpikes]

I can't believe that 'Giant Stone Vaginas' isn't already the name of a lesbo-thrash punk band.

[johniegrad]

This guy is senseless.

[finnman69]

[TheBigB]

I bet it will be by next week.

[presidio9]

WHAT! No Bush bashing? I was looking and looking but never found it.

Simply point out how our precious known universe is roughly .00000000000000012 of what's actually "out there" and we haven't even mapped our own oceans or catalogued the mysteries of the rain forests and by the way, could you please explain the language of a dream? We haven't even begun to understand what makes us conscious. We have little clue what makes us hum and whisper and cry and come, what makes us radiant divine throbbing tragicomic myth junkies. We know so very little yet we think we have a handle on it all and this is what makes us a cute little running joke among the gods and spirits and ghosts.

There's your answer: She was stoned to the gills when she wrote this column.

[wideawake]

This is a very clever knockoff of a Morford column, but it's obviously a fake. The term "Bushco" occurs nowhere.

[Semper Paratus]

Talking about the upcoming NOW convention?

[TruthShallSetYouFree]

Giant Stone Vaginas

Hillary? Janet Reno?? Madeline Albright???