Posted on 02/16/2016 3:28:15 PM PST by Mariner
I saw my ex-husband in court last week. It was the first time I had seen him in longer than I could remember; the exact date lost in an 8-inch-thick legal file of court proceedings that is currently lying on my desk. In fact, I could count on one hand the number of times I have seen him since I started that file four years ago.
Up until just a few days ago, I literally could not find my ex-husband.
But before he disappeared four years ago, I was a married, stay-at-home mom of a 3-year-old daughter and 7-month-old son. Then overnight my world turned upside down when my husband said he was going to the store and simply never returned.
Not only was my marriage over, but he left me with two very young children in a position where I was unable to instantaneously support us.
Quitting his job and leaving his work vehicle (his only car) in the parking lot of his employer, he turned off his phone, moved out of town, and became untraceable. His actions were not just an exaggerated statement that he no longer wanted our marriage, but it was a heartbreaking declaration that he also no longer wanted our kids.
And Iâve heard it all; the judgments that people love to throw my way. âDidnât you see this coming,â and âwhat did you do to make him leave?â Or âthis is why you never should not have been a stay-at-home mom without your own career,â and my favorite, âyou had kids with him, you did this to yourself.â
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
âA man who doesn’t spend time with his family can never be a real man.â
Thanks for sharing your story.
God bless you and your wife. May you have many more happy years together.
my mother left. this was probably 1975. she took me and my sister at gunpoint from an uncle.
my father found her in another state. we were living with her and her drug dealer boyfriend. violence all the time. we were on welfare.
my father tricked her into thinking he was taking us to the store for new clothes. when he got us into the vehicle, he didn’t stop until the police caught us at the state line. the judge told my father to take us and run before she got to the courthouse.
the rest is history.
It took my cousin almost 2 years to get any money out of her husband. She almost lost the house because she had trouble making the payments on one salary. She had two sons in college and one still living at home And it only happened because she took him to court.
He had no problems with an apartment because he moved into his new girlfriend’s apartment (who was 20 years younger) the day he left my cousin.
My uncle left my aunt and two children. He was a serial cheater. Yes he did pay child support, but my aunt got no support and eventually lost the house and moved into a small apartment with the kids while my uncle ended up living in a gated community on a golf course with his new wife and their two children.
And if you think I am leaving out any details, my entire family, including HIS mother and father, took my aunt’s side.
They were both faithful loving wives who husbands were bastards to them. They didn’t know how to fight dirty like the husbands did when it came down to the money.
I’m one person with these two stories. Why you think, in these situations, that it’s a rarity for the woman to be worse off then the husband is beyond me. You need to open your eyes.
It’s funny how you ignore all the details of this story and turn it into a warning for men to not get married. In what way did this man suffer compared to his family’s suffering?
Thank you, and God bless!
No! Im surprised he didnt jump off a bridge
Who are you to question whether I am a conservative? Are you the guy who's wife had 10X as many partners as himself?
And, no, I don't pay for sex, at least not as an overt transaction.
that's the realm of marriage.
On FR the woman is always to blame and any objection to that means that you are a "man hater".
If you are a stay at home mom you are a leach.
If you are a working mom then you are a materialistic bitch.
If you have children then you are just using them to justify your sponging.
If you have no children you are selfish.
“80% of families are broken-up by the woman.”
That little tidbit is the clincher; men know this, and are responding accordingly. For all of the horror stories we hear about women getting shafted, there are a hundred for men (of which we hear very little, but the young boys who witnessed them are now the grown-up men who won’t marry).
I’ve been married for many years, but certainly understand men who refuse to do so. It isn’t for everyone, and I appreciate the candor of men who feel it isn’t for them; the courts undoubtedly favor women if it doesn’t work out. The trade-off is you have to accept masses of foreign youngsters babbling in tongues imported here to compensate for our low birthrate...
Not my sentiments. Just trying to get where you are coming from. Does not sound like something a pro-life, pro-family conservative would advise. But I will take your answer as a “no”.
Ain’t tellin’
We dont hear his side of the story.
Was the wife being respectful? Was she undermining the husband in the disciple of the children?
Was she spending money beyond their means to go to ‘play dates’ and to keep up with the Jones?
Did she offer to get a job?
Was there time for relaxation or was the situation constant demands and hectoring?
That sucks.
I got my life back after the kids grew up. Now they have little to do with my ex. They know she was a spiteful pain in the arse. I see my grandkids practically every day...she might see them once or twice a year.
Enjoy it. I am looking forward to grandkids. Never thought I would say that.
I am glad the worm turned.
I recall the Chinese proverb: May you live long enough to see your enemies float by you.
If we’re being honest, I’m sure many of us fantasize about escaping from our stresses, even for a moment. In my case that moment usually ends with a deep sigh, a good sandwich/beer combo, and a hug from the wife or daughter.
Life will always be sweet and sour, sometimes both in the same day. C’est la vie!
You WILL enjoy your grandkids more than you enjoyed your own children....I can’t explain why, you just will.
Maybe because I am older, wiser, and infinitely more patient.
Yes family court is, at least in the cases of divorce, is a racket. Basically it’s the only part of the legal system where your case only ends when the other side decides they are done.
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