Michelle Obama in an unguarded moment.
Posted on 04/18/2010 6:27:37 AM PDT by Lazamataz
The Onion, the United States oldest and most revered satirical newspaper, first published in 1756, has announced that they will close their website and cease all publishing activities, effective immediately.
Said the owner, "No more satire is possible. Nothing can beat the outrageousness of what comes out of Washington today. In a sentence: We are plum out of satire."
Satirical headlines planned by The Onion, such as "Pelosi: Pass Health Care To Find Out What Is In It", "Major Tax Increases To Reverse Recession", and "Obama Bows To Communist Leader", have been superceded by actual news headlines, causing these satirical headlines and corresponding articles to be pulled.
"I was working on this great concept: Obama would win the Nobel Peace Prize within a few weeks of being inaugerated, " said Abe Iggoof, writer for The Onion, "Then it happened."
The National Security Agency monitors Satirical Possibility Quotient, which is the ability to create satire in the United States. Occurances of satire being superceded by real events, it reported, happened at least 189 times from 2009 to 2001, causing the SPQ to plummet to an all-time low of -75.54. Dr. N. Umber Kruntcher, analyst for the NSA SPQ program, testified before the Satire Investigation Panel commissioned by Congress that it made satire nearly impossible.
"How can I work", lamented Sil E. Gouse, "Every time I get a great idea, it's a lead story on MSNBC. I mean, I was going to write something about how the unpopularity of Health Care Reform was a driving factor in its passing, and the next day MSNBC lead with 'Pelosi: Unpopularity of Health Reform Very Positive For Lawmakers'."
The ability to be satirical is projected to plunge further in 2010, said The Onion's owner, making The Onion an unviable business proposition. Bankruptcy has been filed as of Thursday, April 15, and the assets of the firm will be auctioned in the next two months.
Very good, sort of a satire within a satire. Good work.
For his sake, at least one of their leading columnists is no longer around to have witnessed their demise (William Satire)...
Well done!
If they close, then where will my best friend get his weekly horoscope from?
It’s useless without pictures.....
Keep your day job.
On the whole, your post, just like Preparation H, is very good.
No, you keep YOUR day job.
Satire ping!
Excellent!
When reality surpasses the most outlandish caricature...
Pinged and nicely done, Laz. LOL!
It is true:
Well it already happened.
http://blogs.sfweekly.com/thesnitch/2009/05/no_joke_onion_confirms_its_pee.php
That’s true. It’s hard to do a good satire with the stupidity from the Democrat Party.
BTTT
We have just experienced yet another ....
Close Encounter with the Loony Left
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/chat/2464035/posts
[Now past 100 posts.]
Michelle Obama in an unguarded moment.
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