THE ONION SHUTS DOWN: "NO MORE SATIRE POSSIBLE"

Lazamataz created this | April 17, 2010 | By Lazamataz

[RinaseaofDs]

I actually bought it, then I read it all the way through, I chuckled a little, thought about the events of the last few weeks, and was profoundly sad:

Muslim man runs over crowds of people in Nice with a truck
Muslim man attacks people in German train car with an axe
Muslim man stabs mother and daughters in France for dressing immodestly
Muslim man shoots up gay nightclub (despite the prevalence of homosexual pedophilia among fundamentalist muslims)
Muslim man and his wife shoot up workplace birthday party in San Bernardino

And the king of all satirical headlines:

Muslim man hijack commercial flights and crash them into the World Trade Center; Towers Collapse; 3000 dead

Hollywood is having a tough time putting out movies - terrorists are hijacking their scripts.

I know you were trying to be funny, but its moving past funny anymore.

So much so, I stopped, marveled, and thanked God that Pokémon Go is such a hit. It’s genius, benign, gets kids moving, and is free. It’s the kind of whimsical obsession we used to have back in the cold war, when we were relatively naïve.

Just had to vent a little. It’s a good gag my FRiend, you got me in a way that was so effective that I’m nearly driven to tears of sadness.

Something has to give.