Posted on 04/18/2010 6:27:37 AM PDT by Lazamataz
The Onion, the United States oldest and most revered satirical newspaper, first published in 1756, has announced that they will close their website and cease all publishing activities, effective immediately.
Said the owner, "No more satire is possible. Nothing can beat the outrageousness of what comes out of Washington today. In a sentence: We are plum out of satire."
Satirical headlines planned by The Onion, such as "Pelosi: Pass Health Care To Find Out What Is In It", "Major Tax Increases To Reverse Recession", and "Obama Bows To Communist Leader", have been superceded by actual news headlines, causing these satirical headlines and corresponding articles to be pulled.
"I was working on this great concept: Obama would win the Nobel Peace Prize within a few weeks of being inaugerated, " said Abe Iggoof, writer for The Onion, "Then it happened."
The National Security Agency monitors Satirical Possibility Quotient, which is the ability to create satire in the United States. Occurances of satire being superceded by real events, it reported, happened at least 189 times from 2009 to 2001, causing the SPQ to plummet to an all-time low of -75.54. Dr. N. Umber Kruntcher, analyst for the NSA SPQ program, testified before the Satire Investigation Panel commissioned by Congress that it made satire nearly impossible.
"How can I work", lamented Sil E. Gouse, "Every time I get a great idea, it's a lead story on MSNBC. I mean, I was going to write something about how the unpopularity of Health Care Reform was a driving factor in its passing, and the next day MSNBC lead with 'Pelosi: Unpopularity of Health Reform Very Positive For Lawmakers'."
The ability to be satirical is projected to plunge further in 2010, said The Onion's owner, making The Onion an unviable business proposition. Bankruptcy has been filed as of Thursday, April 15, and the assets of the firm will be auctioned in the next two months.
Red Queen Pelosi: Off With Her Meds.
Imagine how THAT would clean up our environment?
The mother of all satires.
There, writer33. THAT is a PRO. :)
Even better. Go Ask Barry, when he's ten feet tall....
I have a person calling me a bigot on a facebook page because of my satire. These people don’t understand what satire is. And they would really like to ban it.
LOL, I thought it was pretty good actually.
there are not enough pejorative words and phrases in all the languages in the world for me to express my disgust and loathing of those, those . . . .
Obama Jivethon's Lying Circus' hilarious wild comic parody of an American administration!
"Makes Monty Python's Flying Circus look positively dour," say entertainment insiders.
The Onion jumped the shark years ago. Then the shark surfaced for a minute, and she turned out to be Nancy Pelosi.
LOL! Rush Limbaugh has complained of this very situation too. Good article!
Hah! Nice.
BTTT
Love it.
Excellent. I’ve been reflecting on the same thing lately. The irony is, your post should be meta-satire, but it isn’t.
(You do have to pinch yourself. . .even Clinton - the WACO President - making subtle but sadistic exhortations for the need to 'make nice' - raising the 'tempest in a teapot' to 'red alert' warning levels.)
Of course, we know, he IS for real. . .
Good one, Laz! Some of the talent here on FR should start their own “Onion-style” news site. Some of the funniest stuff I’ve read is in the FR comment section.
Hah! Send this to the Onion, Stat!
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