Posted on 03/01/2006 1:58:01 PM PST by rface
.....Eyewitnesses: Man Ran Into Cheney's Knife.....
Vice President Cheney accidentally killed a man during a previous hunting trip, the White House reluctantly confirmed today after denying the incident several times. During a deer hunting expedition on a friend's eight billion dollar ranch, a man "ran into Cheney's knife" several times while Cheney was gutting and dressing a deer, wealthy Republican Party donors and eyewitnesses said.
The man who died was Willford Buchs, a Bush family accountant who "took care of the books" for the Bushes and several Bush companies, and was later appointed Director of the Texas Accounting Commission after the previous commissioner was dismissed for revealing irregularities in the accounting practices of Buchs's clients.
Buchs's death was ruled a suicide by Sen. Dr. Bill Frist, who examined Mr. Buchs by polaroid. Cheney's involvement with the death has not previously been disclosed, although it occurred a little more than a year ago. The incident was uncovered by the press after reporters discovered Buchs's mummified carcass on the ground last week and began asking questions.
Questions have arisen as to why the White House failed to report the incident to the press or the authorities for more than a year. "The Vice President's office deferred to the people who owned the knife that he borrowed for the expedition," said Candy Ricks, a spokesman for the Veep. "It really was up to them." Ricks also maintained that it was not necessary to report the incident to the authorities because the Vice President and his party were authorities, "and very powerful and influential ones, too, I might add."
Ricks denied that Mr. Cheney needed to exercise more caution during hunting trips. "Mr. Cheney is every bit as careful with hunting as he is with civil liberties, foreign policy and democracy," she said.
Well, young satirists (or trapeze acrobats) need training - and this opus of Tom Burka could be charitably considered a training exercise. Tom needs a lot of improvement.
Hey, I thought you weren't allowed to post here if you were stupid!
Will this hurt the chances of the President to be reelected?
I knew this was bogus when I didn't see Halibuton mentioned anywhere in the article.
"LOL - Cheney sure keeps himself busy killing and maiming people, doesn't he ;)
Maybe Cheney is a closet Muslim."
No, muslims release videos of them killing people. It's in the Koran.
They also follow the killing with dancing around and shooting in the air.
He's done none of that.
"How has he not been banned?"
Prevented by the Americans With Disabilities Act.
"When you're arranging accidental knife deaths, always go for the throat."
Or have someone else do it.
well, I KNOW that isn't a hard and fast rule.
CBS claims they sit on this story and were almost ready to report it. It seems they are waiting for some documents from Mary Mapes to substantiate the report is real.
Mildly amusing. Poorly written.
A no-bid killing contract?
LOL!
THAT'S a keeper! Look for it soon in my tagline!
It has to be sarcasm - but - the MSM won't see it as that and run with it as a story. Reminds me of the felon who fell down seventeen times while in police custody ...
Anyone fooled by that story needs to see me about some prime bridges and swamp,,,errrr development land I have for sale....
What's troublesome - some folks will actually believe this (and some folks make up such stuff with intentions of doing damage).
In other news, Joe Lieberman was admitted to the hospital for several severe injuries related to him falling down the stairs 17 times in a row. That was according to the only witness to the event, Sen. John Kerry.
LMAO!!
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