My buddy, Cinnamon Girl, of the OMGIIHIHOIIC ping list found this little gem...
Posted on 03/01/2006 1:58:01 PM PST by rface
.....Eyewitnesses: Man Ran Into Cheney's Knife.....
Vice President Cheney accidentally killed a man during a previous hunting trip, the White House reluctantly confirmed today after denying the incident several times. During a deer hunting expedition on a friend's eight billion dollar ranch, a man "ran into Cheney's knife" several times while Cheney was gutting and dressing a deer, wealthy Republican Party donors and eyewitnesses said.
The man who died was Willford Buchs, a Bush family accountant who "took care of the books" for the Bushes and several Bush companies, and was later appointed Director of the Texas Accounting Commission after the previous commissioner was dismissed for revealing irregularities in the accounting practices of Buchs's clients.
Buchs's death was ruled a suicide by Sen. Dr. Bill Frist, who examined Mr. Buchs by polaroid. Cheney's involvement with the death has not previously been disclosed, although it occurred a little more than a year ago. The incident was uncovered by the press after reporters discovered Buchs's mummified carcass on the ground last week and began asking questions.
Questions have arisen as to why the White House failed to report the incident to the press or the authorities for more than a year. "The Vice President's office deferred to the people who owned the knife that he borrowed for the expedition," said Candy Ricks, a spokesman for the Veep. "It really was up to them." Ricks also maintained that it was not necessary to report the incident to the authorities because the Vice President and his party were authorities, "and very powerful and influential ones, too, I might add."
Ricks denied that Mr. Cheney needed to exercise more caution during hunting trips. "Mr. Cheney is every bit as careful with hunting as he is with civil liberties, foreign policy and democracy," she said.
You better believe it. He came after me with a chainsaw last week, but I got away. My poor Nanna wasn't so lucky, though, cuz it's hard to run with a bum hip. The image of him grinning maniacally as he lopped off her arms will haunt me forever.
...a man "ran into Cheney's knife" several times...
LMAO! Great stuff!
You ordinarily wouldn't expect such athletic ability on the part of someone with his heart problems either. He is to be commended for keeping himself in shape.
Cripes. You newbies are making a mess around here....
Cheney should certainly be more careful using a knife. If he's going for the guy's heart and he hits the breastbone instead, his thumb could slip and he could cut himself. When you're arranging accidental knife deaths, always go for the throat.
You think you're upset? I was out for a drive with my very influential pal from DC(initials only ... EMK) when this shocking news came through. My friend was so upset that he drove off a narrow bridge over troubled waters. Luckily, he got out somehow. He's gone for help.
I am not worried, there is a substantial air bubble in the car, and my laptop is still working. But this Cheney guy! He must be impeached or he'll be targeting women, minorities, gays, and children next.
Say, would you mind calling the Coast Guard? Getting chilly i
Looks like The New York Slimes missed this one...
You think you're upset? I was out for a drive with my very influential pal from DC(initials only ... EMK) when this shocking news came through. My friend was so upset that he drove off a narrow bridge over troubled waters. Luckily, he got out somehow. He's gone for help.
I am not worried, there is a substantial air bubble in the car, and my laptop is still working. But this Cheney guy! He must be impeached or he'll be targeting women, minorities, gays, and children next.
Say, would you mind calling the Coast Guard? Getting chilly i
that's a very good question....
probably because he's been here since 1998....
Well, that's what happens when rookies get in the way.
So what's the point here? ;-)
I'm glad to see this printed. This gives us much more information about this incident than we ever got about the Kennedy assasination, Chappaquidic, Vince Foster's death, and oh so many others. I'm sure that the Senate investigation will clear Cheney.
That Bambi story is bogus. Everybody knows that Cheney wouldn't waste time cooking her.
This part was really good: Buchs's death was ruled a suicide by Sen. Dr. Bill Frist, who examined Mr. Buchs by polaroid.
ROTF
Proper satire, much like proper trapeze flying, is best left to experts, at least in public.
When it all comes right down to it, I think the real culprit is the weather machine.
Cheney got in front of the weather machine once inadvertently when it was turned on, and he's never been right since.
It comes from the 121 Jigawatts of radiation that the machine emits.
Don't tell anyone about it.
I'm beginning to have some concerns too, I mean if Cheney is that good with a shotgun AND a knife, and he's only inviting targets like Harry Whittington and this Buchs joker instead of scumbags like Fat Teddy and Dick Durbin, I have to question the resolve of this administration.
I once played chess with
Dick. He turned me into a
newt! (I got better . . .)
Like the old Indian said when he shot the one eyed deer.
"I have no eye-dear."
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.