FReeper Canteen~What Makes You Laugh?~July 28, 2005~

July 27, 2005 | bentfeather

[Soaring Feather]

For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday...
Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.

Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom?
Support The United States Armed Forces Today!

Good morning TROOPS!!
What makes you laugh??
Post your funny cartoons, jokes, anything you enjoy!

This one always cracks me up!

You Might Be A Soldier If..

Silly cartoon characters??

What tickles your funny bone??
A good joke, funny cartoons, a practical joker?

Computer humor?

"Why We Love Kids"

I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"

2. HONESTY

My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago."

3. OPINIONS

On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents."

4. KETCHUP

A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang, so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle."

5. MORE NUDITY

A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter, haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"

6. POLICE # 1

While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help, I should ask the police. Is that right?" "Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"

7. POLICE # 2

It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"

8. ELDERLY

While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"

9. DRESS-UP

A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."

10. DEATH

While walking along the sidewalk in front of his church, our minister heard the intoning of a prayer that nearly made his collar wilt. Apparently his 5-year-old son and his playmates had found a dead robin. Feeling that proper burial should be performed, they had secured a small box and cotton batting, then dug a hole and made ready for the disposal of the deceased. The minister's son was chosen to say the appropriate prayers and with sonorous dignity intoned his version of what he thought his father always said: "Glory be unto the Faaaaaather, and unto the Sonnn, and into the hole he gooooes."

11. SCHOOL

A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk."

12. BIBLE

A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had been pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found," the boy called out. "What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young boy's voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear."

bentfeather

[Kathy in Alaska]

Oops! Now where did THAT come from? A rock in my living room.

[laurenmarlowe]

Tempted!! I am so there sweetie!! {{HUGS}}

You have FReepmail!!

[luvie]

That picture of Niagara that you posted to Lauren was awesome. That is a restaurant? Wow!

Are you left-handed, too? How can a hammer be left-handed? Are ya kidding me?

[Kathy in Alaska]

tom.....#50!!
Seven.....#150!!
GB.....#200 and #250!!

[MS.BEHAVIN]

Freepmail, Ma!
Hugs!
Ms.B

[TASMANIANRED]

up to 61

mail

[MS.BEHAVIN]

Oh Tas...
They're really hammering you tonight!
Ma!
Tas needs a massage and a bourbon and water!
;0)
Ms.B

[AZamericonnie]

I look forward to pics of your garden always. Actually those artichokes are being grow in a climate that is neither hot but somewhat humid! Go figure!

[Army Air Corps]

Since I dig cars almost as much as aircraft and spacecraft, I tend to have a list of favourite TV cars. This is one of my all-time favourite Dean Jeffries creations.

[luvie]

Whoa! Now that is an awesome car! I have never seen it before!

[writer33]

Good evening, KIA.

[MS.BEHAVIN]

That's cool!
I have an old Scirocco in great condtion that I drive in the summer..
Not a muscle car, but my "baby" just the same!
Ms.B

[NYTexan]

It's a 3 or 4 level tower with a buffet floor and a revolving diner floor! It's very cool!

[luvie]

A Blonde Joke:

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

[luvie]

What a breathtaking view out those windows! Is the food as good as the view? It is VERY cool!

[Army Air Corps]

Dean Jeffries created that car for the Monkees TV series. It was dubbed, surprise, the Monkeemobile. I also like George Barris' work. For example, the Munster's Kustom Koach.

[SevenofNine]

Does kinda bother anybody that Dodger fan and Cub fans are doing better than their team LOL!

I am seroius let see Tomkow prepare to build Burka casino ME CBS is consider should we hire this GeneXer

Speaking of generation X there is report off AP wire Generation X and youth may spent more time on the net
See we have a life LOL!

Well report off CBC site reporting that some Radio station in Canada want Feds not force them hire Cathoic preacher on their radio station for Sunday but Canuck high court said you can't do that so citing on Cathoic preacher side

NO Cathoicism is not offenisve religion we may be scandel ridden thanks to the priest most reset religion on Law and Order

We not hateful

[NYTexan]

Ha...Ha....Ha!

[Army Air Corps]

The Monkeemobile was a customised 1967 Pontiac GTO. Hoo-wah!

[Kathy in Alaska]

And a wonderful good evening to you too, writer. Are you having any of the oppressive heat issues that so many are?