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FReeper Canteen ~ Camp Run-A-Muk! ~ Last Minute Gifts! ~ WooHoo! ~ Friday, December 17, 2004
My "VOICES", "kitty-katz", the Canteen Crew, and FRiends of the Canteen

Posted on 12/16/2004 7:58:15 PM PST by tomkow6


 

 

 
 
For the freedom you enjoyed yesterday... Thank the Veterans who served in The United States Armed Forces.
 
 
Looking forward to tomorrow's freedom? Support The United States Armed Forces Today!
 
 
 

...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....wake up!..............I got some MORE ideas.......why?......cause we gotta....huh?....I wanna sleep....no, GET UP!....we gonna go shoppin' AGAIN??.....
....YES!......I found alotta more neet gifts!....put a sock in it.....SHUT UP!... .....let's go shoppin'!....I WANNA SLEEP......get yer butt outta bed........wake me when it's over....

MORE

EXCITING Holiday GIFTS!

Welcome to  Camp RUN-A-MUK!

 
Where the Plan Of the Day is: Mirth...Merriment...and FUN!
Kick back! Relax! Tell a joke or two! Have a brew !

The BAR is OPEN!

We've got Eye candy...Mind candy...and Chicken soup for the soul!

Welcome to the ULTIMATE Shopping guide, part 2!

Lady Jag once said, "Love is a battlefield." And she couldn't be more right.

It's a tough world out there... between dating, and work, and dating, and errands, and dating... life can eat you alive. To compete in the real world, you gotta be equipped. 

And that's where the Miss Army Knife comes in.

It's a complete field artillery kit that looks like an innocent Swiss Army Knife. But it contains everything you need to survive rough terrain or rough dates.

 The Miss Army Knife opens every which way and includes the following indispensable tools...

flashlight..perfume bottle..keychain..bottle opener..needle & thread..screwdriver..safety pin..scissors..corkscrew..ruler..mirror..nail file..pen..pill box..tweezers  knife

 

It's brilliantly designed and built to last. The uses are endless -- use the knife to carve your lover's initials on a fence post. Use the nail file to file it away once you dump him. Use the perfume bottle to attract a replacement. Use the flashlight to show him the door when you dump him. About the only thing you can't do with it is use the needle & thread to mend your broken heart.

The Miss Army Knife makes a wonderful and thoughtful gift, which makes us wonder what it's doing at Camp Run-A-Muk!

MR. MOUTHYMOUTH
Finger Puppet


This rubber finger puppet is so darn repulsive we just had to sell it.

It's made of flesh-like rubber, with a huge teeth, a flexible tongue, and eyeballs that seem to dangle on strands of exposed flesh.

Because it's so flexible, you can make all sorts of disgusting faces with it. It's more fun that a barrel of mucus!

HALF HAMSTER / HALF GODZILLA
IT'S THE SINGING AND DANCING
HAMZILLA!

Run! Flee! Beat it!

It's Hamzilla!

Dancing Hamsters have reached a new level of stupidity with this marvel.

It's a little stuffed hamster dressed in a Godzilla costume. That's right... a hamster in a monster costume. It doesn't get much stupider than this.

But there's more... When you press his Godzilla foot, he sings and dances a pretty heavy rock song. You probably won't my "voices", but here are the lyrics...

He picks up a bus
And he throws it back down
As he wades through the buildings
Toward the center of town.

Oh, no. They say he's got to go.
Hamzilla!
Oh, no. There goes Tokyo.
Hamzilla!


As he dances, the eyes on the Godzilla costume light up.  He wears a shirt that reads "I Love Tokyo." As a final touch, the ferocious Hamzilla waves a city bus in his right hand and a ripped-out phone booth in his left hand.

If you know what's good for you, you'll buy a Hamzilla. You don't want to make him mad.


It's a well-known fact that hamsters are the most punctual creatures in the animal kingdom. Before clocks and watches were invented, people used to strap hamsters on their wrists to tell the time of day. It was not uncommon to hear passersby say, "Look at the time -- It's half past hamster!" Switzerland became famous for watches -- not because they were brilliant engineers -- but because their indigenous hamsters were exceptionally accurate timekeepers. 

So you can see why Camp Run-A-Muk is so excited to offer this incredible Hamster Clock for your consideration. It's by far  the most remarkable clock we have ever seen.

The colorful Hamster Clock features a furry, mechanical hamster inside of a hamster exercise wheel. Once every minute, THE HAMSTER RUNS and the hamster wheel goes around one revolution. The wheel is connected to an intricate series of 12 gears -- So when the hamster wheel goes around, it makes the clock's minute hand move 1-minute forward.


But we've save the most astounding fact for last -- the entire clock is DRIVEN BY THE HAMSTER. The timing mechanism is INSIDE THE HAMSTER itself. Each minute, when it starts to run, it forces the wheel around, setting the clock in motion. 


It must have taken a lot of engineering to get everything exactly right, but the clock works perfectly. The only drawback is that when the clock starts spinning each minute, it is kind of noisy. But what can you expect -- you have a running hamster robot, 12 gears, and a spinning exercise wheel -- it's gonna make some noise. 

How does the word in the box make you feel? 

 LIBERAL 

If the very mention of liberals makes you scream in frustration and pull the hair out of your head, then this punching bag might save your sanity, if not your very life.


That's right, my conservative cronie. Stop banging your head against the wall. Relief is here. The John Kerry Punching Bag is ready and willing to absorb all your pent up righteous right-wing rage. 

The John Kerry Bop Bag stands a mighty 46 inches tall with a sand-filled base so he pops back up after you bop 'em. A politician has to be thick-skinned, the Kerry Bop Bag is made of durable vinyl. As a finishing touch,  Kerry sports a pair of 3-D Boxing Gloves that squeak when you slug them. 


Of course, my "voices" don't encourage any real violence against our capable candidates. That's what great about the bop bag, no one gets hurt, and you feel a whole lot better!

SINGIN' IN THE RAIN PUPPY


Some people are not bothered by anything. No matter how serious the problem, they always look at the bright side. And if they get stuck with lemons, they make lemonade. In some places, these people are known as optimists. Around here, they're known as annoying.

And we suppose this toy can be considered annoying as well. It's a little stuffed puppy who refuses to let a rain storm dampen his spirits. When you press his paw, "Singin' In The Rain" plays and the pooch swings his umbrella from side to side.


The Singin' In The Rain Puppy is nicely executed. The pup wears a full set of rain gear, complete with coat, hat, and galoshes. The song that plays goes on for a long time and, thought we don't think it's Gene Kelly, it's a pretty good imitation.


When you think about it, the Singin' In The Rain Puppy teaches all of us a valuable lesson: Whenever storm clouds try to rain on your parade, just lift your head and sing! And when the men in white come to take you away, just tell them the singing rain puppy told you to do it!

FREE, with the purchase a 1-year subscription to
BURKA OF THE MONTH CLUB!

It starts innocently enough... You find a little kitten on your doorstep and "rescue" it. Then, somehow, another cat comes along, and you take that one in, too. Then another. And another. Before long, you look in the mirror and... OH MY GOD!!! You're a Crazy Cat Lady!!!!


If this doesn't describe you, then you surely know someone who does fit this frightening scenario. 

The people who designed The Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure certainly must know such a person. Because this bizarre toy captures the Cat Lady Phenomenon to a "T"!

There she stands -- ratty bathrobe, checked pajama bottoms, headband, wild hair, and a fanatical look on her face. And she's surrounded by six cats that own her heart and soul.

The Crazy Cat Lady stands 5-1/4" tall and can be posed however you like.

Yes, you may be tempted to laugh at the Crazy Cat Lady. But, be warned, one day that Cat Lady may be yourself.

No cats, puppies, hamsters, or my "voices" were harmed in the creation of this opening!  Nor was Santa Claus!
Kerry got the crap beat out of him, but me or my "voices" had only a tiny bit to do with that.....

 


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Constitution/Conservatism; Crime/Corruption; Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Government; Miscellaneous; News/Current Events; Political Humor/Cartoons; Politics/Elections; US: Illinois; Unclassified
KEYWORDS: airforce; army; camp; canteen; christmas; coastguard; fun; gifts; humor; marines; military; music; navy; rocks; silliness; spots; supportthetroops; waffles
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To: Kathy in Alaska

MA?


201 posted on 12/17/2004 8:28:29 AM PST by uncleshag
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To: bentfeather

Good morning, Queen of all!

Dancing here with the Stanley Steemer LADY!
No cutting the rug here, just cleaning the carpet.


202 posted on 12/17/2004 8:31:45 AM PST by uncleshag
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To: tomkow6

203 posted on 12/17/2004 8:33:55 AM PST by Lady Jag (Life is short, make fun of it)
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To: tomkow6; uncleshag; bentfeather
Good morning, boys. I've been run ragged this morning. Running as fast as I can to catch up on Themeless Thursday. Now it's time to leave for work. Back in just a bit.


204 posted on 12/17/2004 8:36:16 AM PST by Kathy in Alaska (Support Our Troops! Operation Valentine's Day www.proudpatriots.com)
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To: HiJinx

I know how you feel. I still have a hard time writing peoples address in ink..and they've lived where they are for at least 10 years! LOL! Maybe after I retire I'll get better at it.


205 posted on 12/17/2004 8:45:03 AM PST by txradioguy (HOOAH!!!...Not Just A Word...A Way Of Life!)
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To: uncleshag

Merning Uncle!

206 posted on 12/17/2004 8:47:57 AM PST by Soaring Feather (Follow the Yellow Brick Road....)
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To: tomkow6
BRATTTOMKOW!!!!
#200!!!

207 posted on 12/17/2004 8:49:50 AM PST by Soaring Feather (Follow the Yellow Brick Road....)
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To: Kathy in Alaska

MORNING, ma!

208 posted on 12/17/2004 8:52:28 AM PST by Soaring Feather (Follow the Yellow Brick Road....)
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To: uncleshag; tomkow6
I could say that this thread is going to the DOGS, but that would just be too RUFF on tomkow....

You just reminded me of my favorite song this time of year!

"Dachshund through the snow,..." ;)
209 posted on 12/17/2004 8:52:36 AM PST by Fawnn (Canteen wOOhOO Consultant and CookingWithPam.com person - Faith makes things possible, not easy.)
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To: txradioguy

Prayers lifted for SSG Michael Webb.

May his fellow soldiers rest in God's peace. Prayers lifted for their family and friends as well.


210 posted on 12/17/2004 8:54:20 AM PST by Fawnn (Canteen wOOhOO Consultant and CookingWithPam.com person - Faith makes things possible, not easy.)
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To: StarCMC

Hi, momma!
211 posted on 12/17/2004 8:55:54 AM PST by Soaring Feather (Follow the Yellow Brick Road....)
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To: All

FIRST CORINTHIANS 13 CHRISTMAS VERSION
AUTHOR UNKNOWN

If I decorate my house perfectly with plaid bows,
strands of twinkling lights and shiny balls,
but do not show love to my family,
I'm just another decorator.

If I slave away in the kitchen,
baking dozens of Christmas cookies,
preparing gourmet meals
and arranging a beautifully adorned table at mealtime:
but do not show love to my family,
I'm just another cook.

If I work at a soup kitchen
carol in the nursing home,
and give all that I have to charity;
but do not show love to my family,
it profits me nothing.

If I trim the spruce with shimmering angels
and crocheted snowflakes,
attend a myriad of holiday parties
and sing in the choir's cantata
but do not focus on Christ,
I have missed the point.

Love stops the cooking to hug the child.
Love sets aside the decorating to kiss the spouse.
Love is kind, though harried and tired.
Love does not envy another's home
that has coordinated Christmas china and table linens.
Love does not yell at the kids to get out of the way,
but is thankful they are there to be in the way.

Love does not give only to those who are able to give in return;
but rejoices in giving to those who cannot.

Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things, and
endures all things.
Love never fails.

Video games will break,
pearl necklaces will be lost,
golf clubs will rust;
but giving the gift of love will endure.

Wishing you a joyous & meaningful Christmas!


212 posted on 12/17/2004 9:01:22 AM PST by Soaring Feather
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To: tomkow6

tomkow6!!! #150!!!
tomkow6!!! #200!!!

213 posted on 12/17/2004 9:19:51 AM PST by Fawnn (Canteen wOOhOO Consultant and CookingWithPam.com person - Faith makes things possible, not easy.)
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To: uncleshag
Mornin'! :^D

214 posted on 12/17/2004 9:23:26 AM PST by MeekOneGOP (There is only one GOOD 'RAT: one that has been voted OUT of POWER !! Straight ticket GOP! ©)
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To: Fawnn
 

Thank you, Fawnn!

Hi, Fawnn's SIS!

 

Hi, Fawnn's MOM!

 

215 posted on 12/17/2004 9:25:45 AM PST by tomkow6 (...................TOMKOW6 ! The ONLY voice of reason & sanity in a chaotic Canteen!...............)
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To: bentfeather

Good morning, ms feather.


216 posted on 12/17/2004 9:42:39 AM PST by Kathy in Alaska (Support Our Troops! Operation Valentine's Day www.proudpatriots.com)
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To: beachn4fun; tomkow6; All

Well update on Crystel Catherial story I post here first report that gunman kill himself or was shot by cop overnight last night after 10 hours stand off

Luckly nobody got hurt during standoff everybody got up and got you know what outta there

Also report off Drudge site Times Magazine going probably named both Dubya and Karl Rove as Men of the year in their annual Person of the year magazine

And Drudge is also report that Debbie no longer doing MSNBC report that Debohah Norville has left MSNBC

Meanwhile on hareetz wire report that Israelis did Extreme makeover on Gaza strip refugee camp by killing 3 miltants doing extreme makover on their crib

God I love Israelis version of Learning Channel


217 posted on 12/17/2004 9:47:46 AM PST by SevenofNine ("Not everybody , in it, for truth, justice, and the American way,"=Det Lennie Briscoe)
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To: Kathy in Alaska; tomkow6; All

Well there is report off Fox news had report on where they think Bin Laden may be hiding they think he might be hiding out in that mountain terrien guard by tribal leaders

There is custom that if you are guest of tribal leader he has authority to protect you

I know it very weird and outdate

Also report off Interfax wire Russian just announced that they score tech deal with all country Egypt to help them secure their oil drills

OH OKAY


218 posted on 12/17/2004 9:52:26 AM PST by SevenofNine ("Not everybody , in it, for truth, justice, and the American way,"=Det Lennie Briscoe)
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To: SevenofNine

Hmmm, the gunman killed himself? Well, I guess that mean his demands were not that important!!

BTW, YOU have FReepmail.

8~>


219 posted on 12/17/2004 9:53:15 AM PST by beachn4fun (I was going to buy you a gift, but my tagline is a Scrooge.)
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To: SevenofNine
God I love Israelis version of Learning Channel

Long live The Learning Channel! ;)
220 posted on 12/17/2004 9:54:37 AM PST by Fawnn (Canteen wOOhOO Consultant and CookingWithPam.com person - Faith makes things possible, not easy.)
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