Need Help From Freeper Females (vanity)

4/21/2004 | Jaysun

[Jaysun]

Some of the guys and I are presently at the camping lodge and we’ve got a problem that requires the help of a sensible woman. My brother-in-law managed to get something in his hair this morning, and he wanted to wash it out. I can’t tell you what that something was, because he’s refused to divulge that to us thus far (I suspect that he fabricated the “tainted hair” theory to save himself some embarrassment.)

My brother-in-law believes that his wife has, at some point, told him that peanut butter is a useful household hair cleaner / conditioner. His wife animately denied ever saying anything about peanut butter, and thinks that he must have confused it with mayonnaise. Anyway, this guy has gone from a docile gentlemen to a ranting idiot and he’s now in a state of full blown panic.

Please provide us with any suggestions that you may have for removing peanut butter from hair. If possible, we’d like to know of any “home remedies” that may work – we’re in a fairly remote location and nobody is willing to go to the store. Besides looking ridiculous, he smells horrible. Here’s what we’ve tried so far:

A) Tried to “melt” it away by pouring very hot water over his head. This basically resulted in mild burns to his neck and scalp.
B) Made a makeshift shower cap out of a Wal-Mart bag, taped it around his head to make it watertight, and poured beer in a small hole at the top. He let it soak for about an hour to no avail.

Anything that you can suggest would be most appreciated.

Jaysun

[Iowa Granny]

I've been giving this some serious thought. We have to GUESS what's in his hair, since he doesn't want anyone to know.

Think about this. What would a somebody in a hunting/fishing lodge NOT want his buddies to know he's up to?

My guess is this fella got K-Y Jelly in his hair. To bad he had to mess it up with the Peanut Butter.

[hellinahandcart]

You have a dog with you, right? You didn't go hunting without a dog, did you?

Have your friend lay down on the floor and whistle for the dog, who will take care of the peanut butter and the beer.

[ladyinred]

Hey! Peanut Butter will remove Peanut Butter? !!!!!!

Think the guy will try it? I do! LOL

[Unknown Freeper]

Does Jaysun have a best Freeper friend? Does anyone know the name of the lodge where they are? Perhaps we need to send some intrepid reporters up there to get a first hand account. We need an update!!!!

[Conservativegreatgrandma]

This just keeps getting ridiculousier and ridiculousier. I'm trying to convince Freepers that my cornstarch WILL work.

[eastforker]

You just had to bring up CGEB didn't you,BTY did you save her pic????? that would get anybody out of a fix.

[rintense]

GMTA! I can't believe no one posted this sooner. Wasn't there a similar kind of scene in American Pie 2 involving crazy glue mixed up with lube?

[visualops]

Heinz Co. is campaign weapon for Bush

By LOLITA C. BALDOR, Associated Press

Last Updated: April 20, 2004, 01:47:19 PM PDT

WASHINGTON (AP) - Though John Kerry's wife is an heir to the H.J. Heinz Co. fortune, the food company and its executives are providing President Bush with money and a campaign issue - jobs flowing overseas - in this year's election.
Members of the board of the Fortune 500 company and its corporate political action committee have donated thousands of dollars to Republicans in recent years, including contributions to the Bush campaign. The corporate PAC has given nothing to Kerry.
-snip-
Stuck in what it fears is a food fight is the Heinz Co., which is trying desperately to keep the campaign out of its ketchup sales. In the last few months, the company - which gets about 5,000 phone calls a month - has fielded 800 calls from consumers with questions or complaints about the company's connections to Kerry, his wife and the campaign, said spokeswoman Debbie Foster.

A look at the company's campaign donations shows a preference for Republicans. In the past six years, the Heinz company's political action committee gave more than $64,000 to GOP candidates, nearly three times the amount given to Democrats. It contributed $5,000 to Bush's campaign. It has shunned the Kerry campaign, but the PAC gave $5,000 to the Massachusetts Democratic Party.

Johnson also put his money on the GOP, giving more than $20,000 to Republican congressional committees and candidates since 1999. Other board members have also contributed to Republicans, giving money to Bush's campaign and Pennsylvania's two Republican senators, Arlen Specter and Rick Santorum.

Company spokesman Jack Kennedy said Heinz is nonpartisan and the PAC gives money to both parties. The heavy Republican totals, he said, may just be an indication of where corporate facilities are located.
-snip-
http://www.modbee.com/24hour/politics/story/1303392p-8440444c.html

[FourPeas]

ROTFLOL! I'm dyin' here. My husband's just staring at me...

Mine too.

[Nita Nupress]

ROTFLOLPIMP!!!!!

[Gabz]

I'm so glad you're here.

I'm glaad you are........I was laughing so hard hubby thought there was something wrong and that made me laugh even harder and that led me into a sneezing fit, which led to a coughing fit........

this is just too funny.

I want to know what is (was) in his hair!!!!!!

[notpoliticallycorewrecked]

Now Cobb, they are so drunk that every idea sound reasonable

[Nataku X]

If it's oil-based... water and other water-based substances won't help, because oil and water repel.

Incidentally, that's why they tell you to drink milk, not water, to cool down your mouth after eating peppers... the capascin is oil-based, so drinking water only spreads the oil over your mouth.

[mystery-ak]

Please report back...tell us what you are doing now!

[Politicalmom]

I almost crashed once when I was on my way home from dropping my son at pre-school. Three year old daughter pipes up proudly, "Mom, I just stuck popcorn up my nose!!"

[ladyinred]

GOTTA be, right? Duct tape mends all things!

WD 40 too! That stuff is good for anything! LOL

[hosepipe]

Gasoline will chemically burn ANY FLESH... painful burns too. Acetone is much much worse.

[rintense]

Um, has anyone tried strawberry jelly to get the peanut butter out? How about chocolate with the peanut butter. Oh hell, stick your head outside the window and let a bear lick it off. LOL!

[epow]

see what happens when they are out of our control!

Sounds as though they've been out of control for quite some time. I'm just hoping none of them has reproduced, the gene pool can't take much more muddying up.

[FourPeas]

K-Y Jelly

Ya know, you just may be right.