A Few Of FR's Finest....Every Day....12-02-03...Holiday Contest Thread: Rumsfield Doll

12/02/003 | FreeTheHostages

[FreeTheHostages]

A Few of FR's Finest....Every Day

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HARK! Welcome to a holiday contest thread.

The prize is a talking doll. But wait, it gets better!
	Secretary Rumsfield is doing the talking! Ah, Rummy, he tells it like it is.  Click here to see a sample of things the doll can say!

Santa sees all, knows all.     Cool Christmas gifts for Rumsfield?   You betcha.  But here’s a more perplexing question: Whatever will Rummy get for the press corps?


How does Donald Rumsfield really feel about THEM?  He probably can't say.   The press corps, being the inexperienced, naive, childlike people that they are, may determine how much Rumsfield really loves them by the Christmas gift he gives them.


So, let's do some fictitious shopping for our beloved Secretary of Defense.  Pretend the President has given you leave to get them what you *really* want to get them.  Best answer wins the doll!

Examples of Gifts From Rummy, To Press Corps, With Luv
Recompense for their thoughts	A Texas snowglobe?
A good gift for Sam Donaldson	Remember, it's the thought that counts . . .
Got the idea?  Good.  So it's your turn: what should Secretary Rumsfield get for his beloved crop of youngsters in the Pentagon press room?

The Rules
1. There are no rules! Everything is subject to change on the merest whim. Needless to say, this contest is not affiliated with the ownership of Free Republic and is run by just me.


The Guidelines
1. Post by 22:00 hours (10 p.m. EST --Rumsfield-time!) your description of what Rumsfield should get for the Fourth Estate.  In this fictious gift-giving contest, you can use words, graphics, sounds, and/or an unlimited ficitious budget.  Your contest entry can describe a gift to the entire press corps or you can select one member to receive Sec. Rumsfield’s gift.

2. Winner will be announced on this thread at 23:00 hours.

3. Humor counts.   Conservatism counts.   Picking on the artwork of The Thin Man counts.   In short, everything counts.   Including how much alcohol I have imbibed at the time of judging.   Oh, and if you have to ask if bribes count, then you don't know me well enough to get me the perfect gift anyway.

4. As always, no complaining that the judge (me) is a raving lunatic.   Everyone already knows that.   Bor-r-r-r-ing.   As per last year, no whining if you lose just ‘cause your entry was clearly better: remember, when the judge is an idiot, there’s no shame in losing.   So enter once, enter often, have a ball.

5. The possibility exists of runner-up prizes and awards.   The possibility also exists that if you don’t want a the Rumsfield doll and would prefer a Coulter doll, I just might have access to one for ya.  Or not.  Depends on my mood, really.

6. Don't post anything that our President and First Lady would disapprove of.


7. Oh, and no not entering because you're afraid of embarassing yourself.  That's the entire point of these contests and you'll have plenty of company!  Ho ho ho!





Just in case you're not motivated and somehow have lost the dander you usually put up when you see a member of the press corps, consider the fact that the ne'er-do-wells just yesterday gave TONS of cnn.com frontpage publicity to a "foot-in-mouth" award for Rumsfield given by a couple of unknown British quacks.  Unbelievably, the press corps is riding herd on the theory that the man can't talk no good!  We, on the other hand, understand perfectly this gem:

We also know there are known unknowns; that is to say we know there are some things we do not know.   But there are also unknown unknowns -- the ones we don't know we don't know.

It makes perfect sense to everyone except a Liberal and we recognize the Rumsfieldian humor and truth in the statement.  I personally hope this contest has many unknown unknowns!

And Merry Christmas, Secretary Rumsfield!  We understand you and you've been a very good boy this year!

THIS WEEK'S THREADS 12-1-03...Military Monday

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[SpookBrat]

I'm having so much fun shopping. ROFL I need to do school but I can't tear myself away from the mall.

The Press needs an apron as they are cooking up their lies.

[Aquamarine]

If Daisy becomes a member of the Republican Party we'll have to get a bigger mailbox for all the junk mail!

[SpookBrat]

When the press is at the conference, someone needs to go outside in the parking lot and slap this one on the back of their cars

Or how about this one?

[SpookBrat]

Well, why can't Daisy vote? Liberal dogs vote, don't ya know? Haven't you heard?

[Calpernia]

On the fourth day of Christmas, Secretary Rumsfield gave his beloved crop of youngsters in the Pentagon press room...

Full Straight Jackets! circa 1900. "Though they look like an implement of torture designed in the Dark Ages, there are times when it looks like God's protective arm is around you."

Since the press has found that public could be swayed in a predictable fashion by the information they disseminate on society, they are now, nothing more than an outlet for terrorist information.

So, this Christmas, this gift of a straight jacket is to remind the press and media to excercise restraint with their reporting fashion, methods and information.

And good morning to the Finest!

[Pippin]

ALL RIGHT!

HEEEEEREEEE It COMES!!!!!

10. Dubya in a flightsuit doll for each (Ann Coulter doll for the guys) :O)

09. Free tickets to get "Hannitized" by Sean

08. A Huge heaping helping of crow to celebrate Bush's victory next November

07. This one's especially for Petah Jennings: Free one-way ticket back to Canada. (All others get free one-way tickets to Tehran)

06. Guys: A date with Ann Coulter; Gals: A date with Rush Limbaugh

05. Autographed photo of Rummy singing "To the Right"

04. Video of Hillary Clinton eating crow (PRECIOUS)

03. Latest CD of Dixie Chicks/Saddem Hussien hits.

02. Hairpeace for James Carville

01. Front seat tickets to Bush,s second inaugeration!

[Pippin]

HEH! HEH! HEH!

[Aquamarine]

Just saw where Chad Fairbanks beat me to the one way ticket to the moon idea. :(

So how bout giving the liberal press the first trip to Mars for an extended visit? :)

[Calpernia]

Bump! Bump! Bump!

[SpookBrat]

02. Hairpeace for James Carville

LMBO! ROFL! Good one.

[Calpernia]

{{{Pips}}}!

[Calpernia]

Thanks for the coffee!

[Calpernia]

La la la la!

[Calpernia]

Bump and ROFL!

[iceskater]

As Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz said, "if I only had a brain." So, my suggestion is for Rummy to give the press corps brain transplants.

Oh, and I love the skating Santa!!!

[Calpernia]

That is great! Where did you find those? Or did you make that in photoshop?

[Calpernia]

Good morning and welcome!

Thank you for your services!

[Calpernia]

Pips would also like to provide an appropriate reading room for the raw sewerage the press writes.

[Calpernia]

Bump! to Pips!!!!

[MinuteGal]

Rummy should give each presstitute a Hillary gingerbread girl cookie on a string.

The card should read "Hang me on your Christmas tree".