Morford: Shut Up And Say "I Do" (It's BushCo's "Marriage Protection Week")

San Francisco Chronicle ^ | Wednesday, October 15, 2003 | Mark Morford, Always a Bridesmaid

[presidio9]

Did you hug a priest today? Run from a scary homosexual person? Coo over a copy of Bride's magazine? Fall on your knees and thank God Almighty that your child isn't yet gay or pagan or libertarian and if she is that's OK because it's nothing that regular lithium and electroshock therapy can't "cure"?

[presidio9]

Mark's unrequieted longing for President Bush gets the better of her and distracts her from the truely groundbreaking journalism she has recently been engaged in. Mark, why are you wasting time with gay marriage when you could be giving the world what it wants and needs: more of your profound insight on cheese fries, or your used laptop.

[Support Free Republic]

"Facts are stubborn things, and whatever may be our
wishes, our inclinations, or the dictates of our passions,
they cannot alter the state of facts and evidence."
- John Adams -

Make your statement.

[Roughneck]

Did you hug a priest today? Run from a scary homosexual person? Coo over a copy of Bride's magazine? Fall on your knees and thank God Almighty that your child isn't yet gay or pagan or libertarian and if she is that's OK because it's nothing that regular lithium and electroshock therapy can't "cure"?

You did? Great! Because this entire week, Oct. 13-18, has been decreed "Marriage Protection Week" by the delightfully sanctimonious and homophobic Bush administration. It's true.

I believe it is the homosexuals and the liberal-socialists who are "delightfully sanctimonious", straight-a-phobic and morality-a-phobic.

[presidio9]

Don't forget "God-a-phobic"

[finnman69]

MAJOR MORFORD MELTDOWN!!!!!!

[finnman69]

MARK MORFORD NEEDS A RITALIN SMOOTHIE STAT!

[finnman69]

This line speaks wonders for what moroford is all about...

BushCo doesn't, of course, specify just what marriage requires protection from, exactly, except the "gay agenda" thing, which apparently means lots of happy lesbians handing out free vulva hand puppets to confused little girls on public playgrounds. Oh the horror.

Yes Mark, that's horrible and sick.

[TADSLOS]

I'll take my weddings and marriage straight up, thank you very much.

[finnman69]

He's cranky today.

Mark must have his Bush aviator doll lodged sideways in his rectum today behind the light bulb and gerbil.

[presidio9]

In fairness, he did make it through three whole paragraphs before mentioning anal sex.

[Warren_Piece]

Has miss Morford weighed in on Arnold's election yet? I've been dying to get her/his take on it!

[Skooz]

The constantly menstruating Ms. Morford should employ professionals:

[Democratshavenobrains]

Morford must be in denial that Arnold won overwhelmingly in his state, with only the commie Bay Area voting against him.

[Skooz]

Note to Ms Morford: Not to be used as an erotic toy.

[reagan_fanatic]

Miss Morford sure has her panties in a bunch this time.

I wonder if it's the stress of menopause that's really the source of her delusions.

[Skooz]

In fairness, he did make it through three whole paragraphs before mentioning anal sex.

Yeah. Her editor must have sat down and gave her a good talking to (or a spanking).

[presidio9]

Has miss Morford weighed in on Arnold's election yet?

To say "yes" would be an understatment:

See Her Take on Arnold Here

[finnman69]

bwahahaha

[finnman69]

Note to Ms Morford: Not to be used as an erotic toy.

Morford has this posted on his column site

[Roughneck]

Don't forget "God-a-phobic"


I actually wrote that one in, was appalled at myself, and left it out! Thanks for correcting me!