Posted on 12/03/2002 8:54:38 AM PST by Illbay
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a giraffe in heat.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees, and lower back.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Maak you tink you can tipe real gode.
This was SO funny, I just had to post it 4 U in "Breaking News" because it's so funny!
Things are just getting TOO SERIES around here and I know we could all use a joke posted in "Breaking News"!
Oh, I'm not sure, but I think this joke originally came from George Carlin. Or Ted Nugent. I'm not sure.
Bump this thread to everyone you know!
It's a very funny joke!
</teasing off>
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.