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Funny, Funny Email Joke That No One Has Ever Read Before!
My Email Account (And Only A Few People Have Received It) | December 3, 2002 | Self

Posted on 12/03/2002 8:54:38 AM PST by Illbay

 Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all varieties of alcohol containers:
  
 
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ ++++++++++++++++++++++++++
   
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra and panties.
  
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
  
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a giraffe in heat.
  
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
  
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
  
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
  
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.
  
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead, knees, and lower back.
  
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
  
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
  
 
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
  
 
WARNING: the crumsumpten of alcahol may Maak you tink you can tipe real gode. 


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister
KEYWORDS: hahahathreadmoved; illbaydoasisay; illbayfluff; illbayhypocrite; illbayisabert; illbaynoise; illbaynorules; illbaynotasido; illbayvanity; illbaywind; illbaywordwaster; mainscreenturnon
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Ha! Ha!

This was SO funny, I just had to post it 4 U in "Breaking News" because it's so funny!

Things are just getting TOO SERIES around here and I know we could all use a joke posted in "Breaking News"!

Oh, I'm not sure, but I think this joke originally came from George Carlin. Or Ted Nugent. I'm not sure.

Bump this thread to everyone you know!

It's a very funny joke!

1 posted on 12/03/2002 8:54:38 AM PST by Illbay
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To: Illbay
I can't believe it - a "Vanity" from Illbay! Who's next....Servo??
2 posted on 12/03/2002 8:55:48 AM PST by ErnBatavia
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To: Illbay; xsmommy; dubyaismypresident; hobbes1; RikaStrom
LOL!
3 posted on 12/03/2002 8:57:24 AM PST by Bella_Bru
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To: Illbay
(psssst: I've read it.)
4 posted on 12/03/2002 8:57:25 AM PST by JennysCool
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To: ErnBatavia
And a 'joke' 'breaking news' vanity at that?!
5 posted on 12/03/2002 8:57:26 AM PST by abner
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I we Todd it
I sofa king we Todd it
6 posted on 12/03/2002 8:57:48 AM PST by blabs
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To: Illbay
I must be in your elite group too... I have read this
7 posted on 12/03/2002 8:58:29 AM PST by smith288
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To: Illbay
WARNING: THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL CAN MAKE YOU REAL SARCASTIC
8 posted on 12/03/2002 8:58:49 AM PST by San Jacinto
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To: Illbay
Yet Another Vanity on Vanities - Message from Jim Robinson

http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/news/559881/posts
9 posted on 12/03/2002 8:59:04 AM PST by Quilla
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To: Illbay; billbears
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to post VANITY THREADS.
10 posted on 12/03/2002 9:00:25 AM PST by Constitution Day
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To: Illbay
I understand that you're doing this to make a point about the stupid vanities posted in every conceivable category, but I can't help but think that you're drinking Jack Daniels this morning.
11 posted on 12/03/2002 9:01:02 AM PST by Dog Gone
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To: Illbay
Already posted
12 posted on 12/03/2002 9:01:13 AM PST by Texaggie79
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To: Illbay
WARNING: THE CONSUMPTION OF ALCOHOL MAY CAUSE YOU TO POST A JOKE IN BREAKING NEWS.
13 posted on 12/03/2002 9:01:14 AM PST by Spunky
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To: Illbay
WARNING! The consumption of alcohol may make you post Vanities

</teasing off>

14 posted on 12/03/2002 9:02:18 AM PST by CougarGA7
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To: Illbay
Next time, have at least one person, even yourself, read the joke, before deciding whether it's funny or not! Sheesh!
15 posted on 12/03/2002 9:02:59 AM PST by Revolting cat!
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To: Illbay
(pssst....it's neither funny nor clever)
16 posted on 12/03/2002 9:03:09 AM PST by freedomson
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To: Illbay
A little bored in Katy Texas are we?
17 posted on 12/03/2002 9:03:23 AM PST by Joe Hadenuf
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To: Illbay

BREAKING WIND!!!

18 posted on 12/03/2002 9:03:38 AM PST by KS Flyover
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To: Illbay
I hadn't read this. Free Republic: the news breaks here first.
19 posted on 12/03/2002 9:03:39 AM PST by PianoMan
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To: Illbay
Bump
20 posted on 12/03/2002 9:03:59 AM PST by Fiddlstix
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