New Board Game Aims to Teach Infidels about Islam

BSNN.net ^ | 7/17/02 | Ayev bin Maturd

[NeoCaveman]

How much do you really know about Islam, the religion of peace? Throughout the Western world, confusion regarding the tenets of the "one True Faith" breeds mistrust and hatred. Finally, courtesy of CAIR—The Council on American Islamic Relations, information about Islam is available to everyone: introducing Trivial Islamic Pursuit, new from Parkhouf Brothers—a fast-paced, wholesome, family-oriented game that combines fun with learning. Here's just a sample of the kind of thought-provoking but lighthearted questions you can enjoy while exploring Islam with your family and friends.

1. Failure to achieve martyrdom during jihad results in which of the following punishments in the afterlife?

a) Having one's body smeared with pork fat and being locked in a cage with a pack of rabid Tasmanian devils?

b) Being confined for eternity in a room wallpapered with posters of all Israeli leaders since Ben-Gurion while the hava nagila is played endlessly at high decibel levels?

c) Becoming Hanan Ashwari's stud for eternity?

d) Becoming Yasser Arafat's bitch for eternity?

2. Chapter 43, Verses 1-23 in the Koran deal with what main principle of Islam?

a) the cyclical rate of fire of the Kalashnikov AK-47?

b) proper wife-beating techniques to ensure long-term docility?

c) the difficulty of servicing all 72 sloe-eyed virgins on a nightly basis?

d) how to prevent that rash from spreading?

3. Based on their contributions to Islam, select one of the following groups as most deserving of Paradise :

a) Mohammed, Sulayman the Magnificent, and Kemal Ataturk?

b) Osama bin Laden, Yasser Arafat, and Omar the Tentmaker?

c) Louis Farrakhan, Omar Sharif, and Cat Stevens?

4. Given that Islam is widely recognized as The Religion of Peace, how do you explain to an non-believer the obvious incongruities between the Koran's extolling of violence against infidels (and its derivative guarantees of Paradise via martyrdom) with Islam's peaceful side?

a) No stinking explanations—kill all infidels!

b) You must accept the True Faith or I will introduce you to my friend RPG. God is Great!

c) Allah Akbar—that says it all for me!

d) Being an uneducated buggerer of cloven-hoofed beasts, I choose to leave the complicated theological questions to my mullah and simply kill anyone he points out as a bad person.

5. Islam demands that the True Warrior make jihad. If the United States attacks Irag, will you make jihad and die for the one True Faith?

a) If the U.S. military attacks? You're shitting me, my friend! I got no quarrel with the U.S. Military.

b) Saddam who? Nobody goes to Paradise for being stupid!

c) You mean fight against real soldiers...who shoot back? Why do you think we run from the IDF?

d) My annual pilgrimage is coming up—my plate is full for the next ten years or so-can I get back to you on that?

Pick up your copy of Trivial Islamic Pursuit at a convenience store near you-do it today!

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[NeoCaveman]

I really like #5

[NeoCaveman]

Hey Argh, thanks for finding the article. I figured it should be it's own thread

[NeoCaveman]

Humor ping.

[Argh]

You're welcome. I got a good laugh out of much of it. I already pinged just about everyone I know back in class.

[NeoCaveman]

A fatwa on all of you who don't buy this game.

[NeoCaveman]

Tell you mullah you want this game for Christmas I mean Ramadan.

[NeoCaveman]

d) Being an uneducated buggerer of cloven-hoofed beasts, I choose to leave the complicated theological questions to my mullah and simply kill anyone he points out as a bad person.

For some reason this line made me think of you. LOL

[NeoCaveman]

Humor ping.

[Cool Guy]

Thanks for the ping. ROTFLOL!

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL! Dern them Redneck Islams anyway!

4. Given thet Islam is widely reckanized as Th' Religion of Peace, how does yo' explain t'an non-believah th' obvious incongruities between th' Ko'an's extollin' of violence aginst infidels (an' its derivative guareentees of Pareedise via martyrdom) wif Islam's peaceful side?

a) No stinkin' explanashuns—kill all infidels!

b) Yo' muss accepp th' True Faif o' ah will intrydooce yo'
to mah friend RPG. God is Great! Fry mah hide!

c) Allah Akbar—thet says it all fo' me!

d) Bein' an unejoocayted buggerer of cloven-hoofed beasts, ah choose t'leave th' complicated theological quesshuns t'mah mullah an' simply kill ennyone he points out as a bad varmint.

5. Islam deman's thet th' True Warrio' make jihad, cuss it all t' tarnation. Eff'n the  United States attacks Iraq, will yo' make jihad an' die fo' th' one True Faif?

a) Eff'n th' U.S. military attacks?  Yer shittin' me, mah friend! Fry mah hide! ah got no quarrel wif th' U.S. Military.

b) Saddam who?  Nobody goes t'Pareedise fo' bein' stoopid! Fry mah hide!

c) Yo' mean fight aginst real soldiers...who shoot back? Whuffo' does yo' reckon we helter-skelter fum th' IDF?

d) Mah annual pilgrimage is a-comin' up—mah plate is full fo' th' next ten years o' so-can ah git back t'yo' on thet?

[NeoCaveman]

LOL, Redneck Muslims?

Tip your turbin to the lady boy, that's the cousin-wife I likes the best.

[MeekOneGOP]

Humor ping!

Please let me know if you want ON or OFF my ping list!. . .don't be shy.

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL!

[MeekOneGOP]

Fow those chawactews that don't undewstand Wedneck!

4. Given that Iswam is widewy wecognized as De Wewigion of Peace, how do you expwain to an non-bewievew the obvious incongwuities between the Kowan's extowwing of viowence against infidews (and its dewivative guawantees of Pawadise via mawtywdom) wif Iswam's peacefuw side?

a) No stinking expwanations—kiww aww infidews!

b) You must accept the Twue Faif ow I wiww intwoduce you to my fwiend WPG. God is Gweat!

c) Awwah Akbaw—that says it aww fow me!

d) Being an uneducated buggewew of cwoven-hoofed beasts, I choose to weave the compwicated theowogicaw qwestions to my muwwah and simpwy kiww anyone he points out as a bad pewson, uh-hah-hah-hah.

5. Iswam demands that the Twue Wawwiow make jihad. If the United States attacks Iwag, wiww you make jihad and die fow the one Twue Faith?

a) If the U.S. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! miwitawy attacks? You'we shitting me, my fwiend! I got no qwawwew wif the U.S. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Miwitawy.

b) Saddam who? Nobody goes to Pawadise fow being stupid!

c) You mean fight against weaw sowdiews. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! ..who shoot back? Why do you think we wun fwom the IDF?

d) My annuaw piwgwimage is coming up—my pwate is fuww fow the next ten yeaws ow so-can I get back to you on that?

[NeoCaveman]

a) No stinking expwanations—kiww aww infidews!

Be vewy vewy qwiet, I'm huntin infwidels...uhuhuhuh

[rmlew]

Isn't this a hate crime in Marin county?

[NeoCaveman]

Isn't this a hate crime in Marin county?

Marin County is that where Jihad Johnnie bin Walker Lindh whatever his name this week is from?

I've always wanted to be a first ammendment test-case.

[rmlew]

Yep. John Wlaker Lindh is from Marin Co. CA

[MeekOneGOP]

LOL! I love it.

[xsmommy]

me too!