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LOL! Dern them Redneck Islams anyway!

4. Given thet Islam is widely reckanized as Th' Religion of Peace, how does yo' explain t'an non-believah th' obvious incongruities between th' Ko'an's extollin' of violence aginst infidels (an' its derivative guareentees of Pareedise via martyrdom) wif Islam's peaceful side?

a) No stinkin' explanashuns—kill all infidels!

b) Yo' muss accepp th' True Faif o' ah will intrydooce yo'
to mah friend RPG. God is Great! Fry mah hide!

c) Allah Akbar—thet says it all fo' me!

d) Bein' an unejoocayted buggerer of cloven-hoofed beasts, ah choose t'leave th' complicated theological quesshuns t'mah mullah an' simply kill ennyone he points out as a bad varmint.

5. Islam deman's thet th' True Warrio' make jihad, cuss it all t' tarnation. Eff'n the United States attacks Iraq, will yo' make jihad an' die fo' th' one True Faif?

a) Eff'n th' U.S. military attacks? Yer shittin' me, mah friend! Fry mah hide! ah got no quarrel wif th' U.S. Military.

b) Saddam who? Nobody goes t'Pareedise fo' bein' stoopid! Fry mah hide!

c) Yo' mean fight aginst real soldiers...who shoot back? Whuffo' does yo' reckon we helter-skelter fum th' IDF?

d) Mah annual pilgrimage is a-comin' up—mah plate is full fo' th' next ten years o' so-can ah git back t'yo' on thet?

Fow those chawactews that don't undewstand Wedneck!

4. Given that Iswam is widewy wecognized as De Wewigion of Peace, how do you expwain to an non-bewievew the obvious incongwuities between the Kowan's extowwing of viowence against infidews (and its dewivative guawantees of Pawadise via mawtywdom) wif Iswam's peacefuw side?

a) No stinking expwanations—kiww aww infidews!

b) You must accept the Twue Faif ow I wiww intwoduce you to my fwiend WPG. God is Gweat!

c) Awwah Akbaw—that says it aww fow me!

d) Being an uneducated buggewew of cwoven-hoofed beasts, I choose to weave the compwicated theowogicaw qwestions to my muwwah and simpwy kiww anyone he points out as a bad pewson, uh-hah-hah-hah.

5. Iswam demands that the Twue Wawwiow make jihad. If the United States attacks Iwag, wiww you make jihad and die fow the one Twue Faith?

a) If the U.S. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! miwitawy attacks? You'we shitting me, my fwiend! I got no qwawwew wif the U.S. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! Miwitawy.

b) Saddam who? Nobody goes to Pawadise fow being stupid!

c) You mean fight against weaw sowdiews. Oh, dat scwewy wabbit! ..who shoot back? Why do you think we wun fwom the IDF?

d) My annuaw piwgwimage is coming up—my pwate is fuww fow the next ten yeaws ow so-can I get back to you on that?