4. Given thet Islam is widely reckanized as Th' Religion of Peace, how does yo' explain t'an non-believah th' obvious incongruities between th' Ko'an's extollin' of violence aginst infidels (an' its derivative guareentees of Pareedise via martyrdom) wif Islam's peaceful side?
a) No stinkin' explanashuns—kill all infidels!
b) Yo' muss accepp th' True Faif o' ah will intrydooce yo'
to mah friend RPG. God is Great! Fry mah hide!
c) Allah Akbar—thet says it all fo' me!
d) Bein' an unejoocayted buggerer of cloven-hoofed beasts, ah choose t'leave th' complicated theological quesshuns t'mah mullah an' simply kill ennyone he points out as a bad varmint.
5. Islam deman's thet th' True Warrio' make jihad, cuss it all t' tarnation. Eff'n the United States attacks Iraq, will yo' make jihad an' die fo' th' one True Faif?
a) Eff'n th' U.S. military attacks? Yer shittin' me, mah friend! Fry mah hide! ah got no quarrel wif th' U.S. Military.
b) Saddam who? Nobody goes t'Pareedise fo' bein' stoopid! Fry mah hide!
c) Yo' mean fight aginst real soldiers...who shoot back? Whuffo' does yo' reckon we helter-skelter fum th' IDF?
d) Mah annual pilgrimage is a-comin' up—mah plate is full fo' th' next ten years o' so-can ah git back t'yo' on thet?