Free Republic Smokers' Lounge

To: Just another Joe

a newsletter huh? that's interesting Joe. If you have finished the first edition, would you email me a copy? I could print a few copies and drop in my area smoke shops - I might even be able to help out some if you need it.

161 posted on 06/28/2002 3:49:41 PM PDT by kcpopps

Smart move! The only thing that saved my ass on this one is that this installer does the A/C on all our construction jobs (and wants to continue to do so), so I got a really super deal. It was still a major body blow, though-I had to put it on plastic. It works so well that I am worried that it will not shut off till I am frozen solid!

162 posted on 06/28/2002 4:17:37 PM PDT by Texan5

Hey, here's a cute one I just got from a friend of mine on e-mail...

Breaking News Story-

REMAINING U.S. CEOs MAKE A BREAK FOR IT

Band of Roving Chief Executives Spotted Miles from Mexican Border

San Antonio, Texas (Reuters) -- Unwilling to wait for their eventual indictments,
the 10,000 remaining CEOs of public U.S. companies made a break for it yesterday,
heading for the Mexican border, plundering towns and villages along the way, and
writing the entire rampage off as a marketing expense.

"They came into my home, made me pay for my own TV, then double-booked the
revenues," said Rachel Sanchez of Las Cruces, just north of El Paso. "Right in front
of my daughters."

Calling themselves the CEOnistas, the chief executives were first spotted last night
along the Rio Grande River near Quemado, where they bought each of the town's 320
residents by borrowing against pension fund gains. By late this morning, the
CEOnistas had arbitrarily inflated Quemado's population to 960, and declared a 200
percent profit for the fiscal second quarter.

This morning, the outlaws bought the city of Waco, transferred its underperforming
areas to a private partnership, and sent a bill to California for $4.5 billion.

Law enforcement officials and disgruntled shareholders riding posse were noticeably
frustrated.

"First of all, they're very hard to find because they always stand behind their
numbers, and the numbers keep shifting," said posse spokesman Dean Levitt. "And
every time we yell 'Stop in the name of the shareholders!', they refer us to
investor relations. I've been on the phone all damn morning."

"YOU'LL NEVER AUDIT ME ALIVE!"

The pursuers said they have had some success, however, by preying on a common
executive weakness. "Last night we caught about 24 of them by disguising one of our
female officers as a CNBC anchor," said U.S. Border Patrol spokesperson Janet Lewis.
"It was like moths to a flame."

Also, teams of agents have been using high-powered listening devices to scan the
plains for telltale sounds of the CEOnistas. "Most of the time we just hear leaves
rustling or cattle flicking their tails," said Lewis, "but occasionally we'll pick
up someone saying, 'I was totally out of the loop on that.'"

Among former and current CEOs apprehended with this method were Computer Associates'
Sanjay Kumar, Adelphia's John Rigas, Enron's Ken Lay, Joseph Nacchio of Qwest,
Joseph Berardino of Arthur Andersen, and every Global Crossing CEO since 1997.
ImClone Systems' Sam Waksal and Dennis Kozlowski of Tyco were not allowed to join
the CEOnistas as they have already been indicted.

So far, about 50 chief executives have been captured, including Martha Stewart, who
was detained south of El Paso where she had cut through a barbed-wire fence at the
Zaragosa border crossing off Highway 375.

"She would have gotten away, but she was stopping motorists to ask for marzipan and
food coloring so she could make edible snowman place settings, using the cut pieces
of wire for the arms," said Border Patrol officer Jeannette Cushing. "We put her in
cell No. 7, because the morning sun really adds texture to the stucco walls."

While some stragglers are believed to have successfully crossed into Mexico, Cushing
said the bulk of the CEOnistas have holed themselves up at the Alamo.

"No, not the fort, the car rental place at the airport," she said. "They're rotating
all the tires on the minivans and accounting for each change as a sales event.

* from correspondent George Ghiz in our Texas office

163 posted on 06/28/2002 4:21:10 PM PDT by Texan5

...and I want my lampshade back...I think Gabz has it , but I'm not sure....and Gabz or you took my stawberries too! I know it!

If Gabz took your strawberries - I will quote you:

FMCDH

164 posted on 06/28/2002 5:39:40 PM PDT by Gabz

To: Just another Joe

"That moose just ate my cheeseburger and french fries!", I herd the new guy whine...

http://www.strangecosmos.com/v iew.asp?PicID=5344

165 posted on 06/28/2002 6:36:26 PM PDT by Robert A Cook PE

Hey, the only format I have it in right now is a word document.
I'm trying to get it into a newsletter format. FReepmail me your e-mail and I'll send it to you when I get it into the right format.

166 posted on 06/28/2002 7:56:48 PM PDT by Just another Joe

To: red-dawg; Fiddlstix; RikaStrom; robomatik; ladyinred; error99; Max McGarrity; Gabz; sneakypete; ...

Can anybody open the Smokers' Lounge this Friday?
I will be at my mothers with no internet access.
My Grandfather went into the hospital yesterday and my brother says he is not doing well so I'm going down for four days over the 4th of July.

167 posted on 07/01/2002 12:45:32 PM PDT by Just another Joe

To: Just another Joe

Joe, I can open it for you. I'm not great at starting threads, but I'm sure Cyber will help.

I hope your grandfather will be okay.

168 posted on 07/01/2002 12:48:08 PM PDT by Slip18

To: Just another Joe

I don't know how or I would do it for you. I'm sure someone will open it.

Sorry to hear about your Grandfather.

169 posted on 07/01/2002 12:48:47 PM PDT by SeaDragon

To: Just another Joe

Well I would but Gawd knows if I'll even be sober by then. Sometimes it takes a couple days to detox, dude... I'd end up finishing off all yer cuervo anyhoo... Sorry to hear about yer granddad and whatnot.

170 posted on 07/01/2002 12:51:33 PM PDT by maxwell

To: Just another Joe

Though I lurk mostly I'd turn it on if you let me know what to do.

Sorry to hear your Grandfather isn't well. I hope and pray he'll be fine.

171 posted on 07/01/2002 2:42:03 PM PDT by Notforprophet

To: Just another Joe

I gladly volunteer to open and tend bar for at least the first few hours --- I'll even use your standard html and graphics. You probably should assign someone though so we don't post duplicate threads.

172 posted on 07/01/2002 3:57:39 PM PDT by kcpopps

To: Just another Joe

You might want to bring a couple extra smokes when you visit your grandpops. After a lot of pleading (and against my better judgement) I snuck a few to my dad when he was in the hospital after a heart attack -- and I can't tell you how happy it made him. I'll swear on a stack of Bibles is sped up his recovery.

173 posted on 07/01/2002 5:13:29 PM PDT by evilsmoker

To: Just another Joe

Vatican clamps down on smokers/Rome

What? I can't smoke no more, Pontiff????

174 posted on 07/01/2002 5:47:12 PM PDT by SheLion

To: Just another Joe

Need an injection machine with that Shag?

Inject what??????

175 posted on 07/01/2002 5:50:03 PM PDT by SheLion

To: Just another Joe

I got my drink. Thanks, Joe!!!!

176 posted on 07/01/2002 5:51:24 PM PDT by SheLion

Of course not - considering I'm head NUT!!!!!!!!!

To the Head Nut! :)

177 posted on 07/01/2002 6:25:33 PM PDT by SheLion

To: Just another Joe

ahhhhhhh Black Jack!

Got a glass Joe?

178 posted on 07/01/2002 6:26:26 PM PDT by SheLion

To: red-dawg; Fiddlstix; RikaStrom; robomatik; ladyinred; error99; Max McGarrity; Gabz; sneakypete; ...

Slip18 has graciously accepted the task of opening the Lounge this Friday (with CyberLiberty's help).
I believe that maybe kcpopps will be helping to entertain with libations.

Many thanks for the well wishes for my Grandfather.

If I don't talk to you all before I leave for the weekend then I'll talk to you next week.

JaJ

179 posted on 07/02/2002 7:24:54 AM PDT by Just another Joe

Got a glass Joe?

Glasses? GLASSES!? We don' need no steenkin' glasses! LOL

180 posted on 07/02/2002 7:26:13 AM PDT by Just another Joe

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