Posted on 09/18/2026 9:35:44 AM PDT by dayglored
Men, if you've been married for any length of time, then you've no doubt fallen prey to a trap question. Women love asking questions they don't want answers to, just so they can start a fight. It's in their nature. But we got you, fam.
Check out these common trap questions wives love to ask and how you should respond to each:
Q: Which one of my friends is the prettiest?
A: You have female friends? I never noticed.
Q: Do you think Sydney Sweeney is attractive?
A: What is a "Sydney Sweeney"?
Q: Does this dress make me look fat?
A: Get behind me, Satan!
Q: Would you still love me if I were a colossal desert sandworm?
A: What Shai-hulud has decreed must be. Bless the Maker and His water. Bless the coming and going of Him. MAY HIS PASSAGE CLEANSE THE WORLD
Q: Which celebrity do you have a crush on?
A: Henry Cavill, obviously.
Q: What do you want for dinner?
A: Whatever you're thinking of right now, sweetheart.
Q: What should we watch tonight?
A: No matter what you put on the TV, I'll just be watching you.
Q: If I died, would you remarry?
A: No, because I would die too.
Q: What's the best way to repair the carburetor on a 1988 Ford Ranger that's stalling out at idle?
A: That's a trick question. The 1988 Ford Ranger uses a fuel-injected engine, not a carburetor. The issue is probably a dirty throttle body or a small vacuum leak.
Q: Do you notice anything different about the way I look today?
A: Only that you grow even more beautiful with every rising and setting of the sun.
Q: Do you like my family?
A: I don't know half of them half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of them half as well as they deserve.
Q: Do you remember what today is?
A: Throw a flashbang and RUN!
You'll have a better marriage in time if you use our handy answers here. Good luck, men!
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Yeah, but a lab can’t make you a sammich!
Lol!!
Reminds me of a t-shirt I saw at a gun show that read:
“My wife told me if I buy one more gun she was going to leave me. I sure will miss her.”
“Thank you Miss Vito.”
Oh boy
The answer to all ten should be “it wasn’t me, it was him, those aren’t my pants and the midget was on fire when I got here”
Then raise both hand over your head and tactical backpeddle out of the room.
That would be creepy. Both question and answer.
Q: What do you want for dinner?
A: Whatever you're thinking of right now, sweetheart.
Now there is a question I would like answered on occasion. It is not a trick question darling. Would you like meat loaf with mashed potatoes or fish and chips? JUST PICK ONE! I need to take the protein out of the freezer.
About the only time I can get an answer is when I am asking him if he would like A or B for one of our "Just Us Two" dinners. I never ask about desert. It will be homemade strawberry cookie bars. With homemade straw berry ice cream on top.
He: If I died, would you marry again?
She: I’m still young, no sense spending my life alone.
He: What about our house? Would you share it with him?
She: It’s paid for. Would be foolish to get a new mortgage.
He: What about our bed? Would you share it with him??
She: Honey, it’s the best bed I’ve ever had! Gotta keep it.
He: What about my guitar? Would let him play my guitar??
She: No, he won’t play your guitar. He’s left handed..
If Marisa Tomei hadn’t stolen your heart before she uttered those lines, she surely did at that moment.
True Story
Sister-in-laws Mother was asked if she passed away first would she want her husband to marry again.
She said: NO
Her friend asked her, “Don’t you want him to be Happy?
Mother said: He’s had Happy.
Sage advice....
If a sammich is all you need, buy one at the store. Its cheaper than a wife.
Now that one is easy. Every male in my generation had a crush on Annette Funicello.
Hey.... we women just want affirmation and reassurement… constantly...lol.
If you need a decrypted list of Q&A... here is mine:
Q: Which one of my friends would you drop me for and date, if you could?
A: None, because none of your friends can even come close to matching your beauty!
Q: Would you sleep with Sydney Sweeney if you could?
A: No, she is not my type. You are though.
Q: Is this dress flattering to my figure?
A: That dress looks great on you! Please wear tonite for me.
Q: Will you still love me when I get old and saggy and flabby?
A: Yes, I will love you when we are both old and saggy and flabby.
Q: Which celebrity do you have a crush on?
A: I am really crushing on Audrey Hepburn (has to be someone already dead and if it’s a younger couple, Olivia Newton-John instead of Hepburn).
Q: Do you like my cooking and which dish do you like best?
A: I love all of your cooking so whatever you feel like making for us, sweetheart.
Q: Can we watch a chick-flick tonight instead of a war or action movie?
A: I’ll enjoy anything as long as I’m with you and I’ll just be watching you.
Q: If I died, would you remarry?
A: No, because I would be traumitized for the rest of my life..
Q: You’re so good at fixing car problems, could you look at my car’s AC issue? I hate to sweat and like to be cool.
A: I’ll take care of it.
Q: Do you like my new hairstyle?
A: I love it…. It makes you look like Audrey Hepburn (or Olivia Newton-John)..
Q: Will you be more tolerant of my obnoxious family members?
A: I won’t even notice because you’ll be there to distract me.
Q: Did you forget our anniversary?
A: You just spoiled the surprise I had planned, but I’ll come up with something else “now”.
Honest Abe in the old Geico commercial could have used this advise.
Mrs. Lincoln: Abraham, does this dress make my backside look big?
Abe: (hesitates) uh...perhaps...a little?
#10 sums up why we need the 2nd amendment ...not for hunting, not just for fighting a screwed up govt like the UK’s, but defense!
Q: Does this dress make me look fat?
A: No, the fat makes you look fat.
Al Bundy, right?
Why, indeed?, since there is officially no such Mustang. I assume you meant GT350. The answer is because it's a great investment, and it has to be driven frequently to keep it in top working order.
Having been married since April 1960, have long since found this advice to be excellent...
Also, I’d add having your wife love bass fishing even more than you do... It’s amazing how a day beating the water to a froth with spinnerbaits can bleed any bad issues or thoughts away...
Between Maryland and California, there are few major impoundments & rivers that we have not fished...
It is something, these days, that I miss terribly... She had to stop fishing after a knee replacement about 20 years ago...
On any day that I want to clear my head, I run down to the Goose Bay marina where we have our Range bass boat stored and just stare at it... Being 93 (me) and 88 (her) has some drawbacks...
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