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Trump Sets New World Record By Winning War With Iran 27 Times In One Year
BabylonBee ^ | June 11, 2026 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 06/11/2026 6:08:05 PM PDT by Retain Mike

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump set a new world record this week by winning the same war with Iran for the 27th time this year, shattering the previous record of one.

According to White House officials, Trump first won the war with Iran in February. However, the war started again the following week, but was quickly won, and Trump has continued winning the war multiple times since.

"No one thought we could win the war so many times," Trump told reporters. "We won it very strongly. Then we won it again bigly, and then we won it even more. Frankly, nobody has ever won the same war this many times. It's incredible, many people are saying historic, what we're accomplishing."

Guinness World Records awarded Trump with a special plaque commemorating the prestigious record for winning the most wars against the same country in a single calendar year.

"It's an honor. What can I tell you? It's a great honor," Trump told reporters as he humbly accepted the long-sought-after award. "I've been gunning for this one a long time, and it finally paid off, let me tell you. Lots of people were talking about it. They said, ‘You can't do it. No one will fight America enough.' But they weren't thinking about Iran. Iran really made this possible. The great people of Iran. I love them, but I had to keep bombing them so I could lock down this record. It's a beautiful record, and I don't think anyone will ever beat it."

News outlets struggled to keep up with the pace of developments, as the war keeps being won in more efficient fashion. "The United States has achieved total victory over Iran today, signaling — wait, I'm being told the United States has just begun a war with Iran," said news correspondent Jay Beverly. "The nations are trading strikes with no sign of any offramp, deadlocked in... ope, I'm being told the United States has just won the war. Again."

Sources from the Department of War announced they had started saving time by permanently installing a giant banner reading "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" on wheels that can be rolled out whenever needed.

At publishing time, Trump had won the war with Iran three more times.


TOPICS: Business/Economy; Chit/Chat; Military/Veterans
KEYWORDS: armchairadmirals; armchairgeneralsoffr; babylonbee; dpettyliar; dpettytroll; habitualtdstrolling; habitualtrolls; iran; mullahloversonfr; negotiation; tds; trump; winning

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Trump is not close to a deal with Iran as long as their military takes actions and makes statements promising violence while their diplomats talk agreement.

Presidents are always counseled to sign any document offered and declare victory. Asking for a ceasefire only indicated the Administration was beginning to get their attention. That was the time to increase the violence. So, instead the president granted Iran unlimited authority to decide the length of the ceasefire. So, just like Vietnam they have been granted an unlimited period to restore their military capabilities. The president said, "I have therefore directed our Military to continue the Blockade and, in all other respects, remain ready and able, and will therefore extend the Ceasefire until such time as their proposal is submitted, and discussions are concluded, one way or the other,"

I am sure the Iranian “experts” at the State Department concluded the regime was in a desperate situation and had to negotiate a responsible agreement.

However, the negotiators should have been required to spend a month in prison interacting with the criminally insane. Iranian leaders are not only ideologues but also meet the definition of sociopaths by exhibiting patterns of antisocial behaviors and attitudes, including manipulation, deceit, aggression and a lack of empathy for others. These two-legged vertebrates exhibit diminished human characteristics. One can begin meaningful negotiations only after you get their attention by removing all abilities to project terrorism beyond their physical borders.

1 posted on 06/11/2026 6:08:05 PM PDT by Retain Mike
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To: Retain Mike

The only way we win this war is when the Ayatollah pulls a Hitler(blows his brains out while cowering in a bunker).


2 posted on 06/11/2026 6:15:11 PM PDT by EvilCapitalist (I wasn't expecting a kind of Spanish Inquisition.)
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To: EvilCapitalist
The only way we win this war is when the Ayatollah pulls a Hitler(blows his brains out while cowering in a bunker).

You seem to be laboring under the delusion that Iran has a central command and if you take them out, it's over.

They have a decentralizes structure, with layer after layer of crazier and crazier.

It's an asymmetrical conflict. All it takes is a little harrasment to keep the Strail locked down. And Iran is 2.5 times the size of Texas, most of it mountainous. Good luck finding them all, much less killing them.

They have all the time in the world. All they have to do is not die.

We don't have all the time in the world, and in the meantime the world economy is in flames and we are getting the blame.

3 posted on 06/11/2026 6:25:38 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (If it ain't fun, you ain't doin' it right.)
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To: EvilCapitalist
Better yet… .


4 posted on 06/11/2026 6:29:28 PM PDT by DoodleBob (Gravity's waiting period is about 9.8 m/s²)
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To: Retain Mike
add to that he is being advised by the same people who published and pushed the steel dossier
5 posted on 06/11/2026 6:30:13 PM PDT by kvanbrunt2
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To: kvanbrunt2

He’s being advised by Perkins-Coie? Don’t think so.


6 posted on 06/11/2026 6:33:31 PM PDT by Merrick (It's a car - that runs on water, man!)
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To: Retain Mike
So, just like Vietnam

In Vietnam Johnson and Nixon had Congressional authorization to escalate:

The Tonkin Gulf Resolution stated that "Congress approves and supports the determination of the President, as Commander in Chief, to take all necessary measures to repel any armed attack against the forces of the United States and to prevent any further aggression." As a result, President Johnson, and later President Nixon, relied on the resolution as the legal basis for their military policies in Vietnam.

Trump didn't bother to get Congressional support because he was fooled into thinking this would be quick and easy.

Resolved by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled, That the Congress approves and supports the determination of the President, as Commander in Chief, to take all necessary measures to repel any armed attack against the forces of the United States and to prevent further aggression.

Section 2. The United States regards as vital to its national interest and to world peace the maintenance of international peace and security in southeast Asia. Consonant with the Constitution of the United States and the Charter of the United Nations and in accordance with its obligations under the Southeast Asia Collective Defense Treaty, the United States is, therefore, prepared, as the President determines, to take all necessary steps, including the use of armed force, to assist any member or protocol state of the Southeast Asia Collective Defense Treaty requesting assistance in defense of its freedom.

Section 3. This resolution shall expire when the President shall determine that the peace and security of the area is reasonably assured by international conditions created by action of the United Nations or otherwise, except that it may be terminated earlier by concurrent resolution of the Congress.

7 posted on 06/11/2026 6:34:33 PM PDT by Gunslingr3
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To: Retain Mike

lions, tigers, bears, Oh My !!!

The Jerk (apropos) Schiff /Shinola...
ur head up ass


8 posted on 06/11/2026 6:39:01 PM PDT by A strike (fvckMI6. Drool Britannia. & No more Dots)
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To: Retain Mike

winning war with Iran 27 times?

that should earn him 27 Nobel peace prizes, ,eh?


9 posted on 06/11/2026 6:48:22 PM PDT by faithhopecharity ("Politicians aren't born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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He’s the Harlem Globetrotters vs the Washington Generals.


10 posted on 06/11/2026 6:57:45 PM PDT by proust (All posts made under this handle are, for the intents and purposes of the author, considered satire.)
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To: Retain Mike

The Bee needs to stick to roasting Democraps.


11 posted on 06/11/2026 7:01:16 PM PDT by balch3
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To: EvilCapitalist

Trump is a fool

And i supported him

Irans playing him for a fool. This isn’t 4d chess

This is taco 🌮 time


12 posted on 06/11/2026 7:02:36 PM PDT by forYourChildrenVote4Bush
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To: Retain Mike
touché
Babylon Bee, Iran nails it.
13 posted on 06/11/2026 7:02:40 PM PDT by af_vet_1981 ( The bus came by and I got on, That's when it all began.)
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To: forYourChildrenVote4Bush

Cheese eating surrender Trump


14 posted on 06/11/2026 7:06:50 PM PDT by wny
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To: wny

taco trump !!!!!

Fox News: Iran fired several drones tonight at commercial vessels attempting to transit the Strait of Hormuz. Senior US defense official: “It appears Iran has attempted to strike commercial ships transiting the Strait of Hormuz tonight. U.S. forces shot down two Iranian one-way attack drones. Traffic flow through the Strait continues.”


15 posted on 06/11/2026 7:08:24 PM PDT by forYourChildrenVote4Bush
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To: forYourChildrenVote4Bush
"U.S. forces shot down two Iranian one-way attack drones. Traffic flow through the Strait continues.”

Oh, golly! That's worse than Pearl Harbor!!!

16 posted on 06/11/2026 7:12:25 PM PDT by TigersEye (The Democrat Party - like the love child of La Cosa Nostra and Al Qaeda )
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To: TigersEye

Oh, golly! That’s worse than Pearl Harbor!!!


The attack or the movie?


17 posted on 06/11/2026 7:14:21 PM PDT by dfwgator ("I am Charlie Kirk!")
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To: EvilCapitalist

Trump got dementia


18 posted on 06/11/2026 7:15:30 PM PDT by forYourChildrenVote4Bush
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To: dfwgator

:)

Yes.


19 posted on 06/11/2026 7:16:51 PM PDT by TigersEye (The Democrat Party - like the love child of La Cosa Nostra and Al Qaeda )
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To: EvilCapitalist
I think we made it easy for the last leader of Iran: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_of_Ali_Khamenei

The problem is, Iran unlike Saddam or Hitler, has a real succession of command of sorts. They though of this.

In the end, it's always about money and it's hard to spend hundreds of millions on a nuclear program, support the Houti’s in Yemen, in Iraqi some Shia militias, and Hezbollah in Gaza and the Sinai, when your economy is completely broke.

The problem for us, and especially Trump, is that this approach is extremely ugly. Bad optics-

Once the images and video roll in of what this really means, you will lose a lot of folks that talk tough now. We're talking about removing one of the worlds larger oil suppliers. Our fair weather Euro allies of course will drop away immediately except a few like Poland.

We're basically talking about making the civilian population, millions of people, suffer in a horrible way, even though they are not really the target per say. We will cause a lasting effect on the worlds energy supply which will impact certain counties like China disproportionately. There is going to be a build up of resistance against us beating the snot out of Iran.

However, Iran is led by ideologues, they have a very low concern for the suffering of their own people (look at how they handle their own people protesting). This government has been in power a long time, they have built a vast and capable security apparatus which has some support from both the Russians and Chinese. They have faced off with us many times over the years and know how we operate. They have hardened facilities specifically to counter us (why we had to build special bunker busters), have a succession of command and redundancies, they are moving things around to make it hard for us, or they have moved the manufacturing of certain military industry outside their country where it is safe from our strikes (4 years ago and after the Russians desperately needed drones, artillery shells and mortar rounds for their armed force in Ukraine which Iran supplied - Russia allowed Iran to manufacture drones in an area they control and out of our reach unless we seriously escalate this conflict to the point of a world war between nuclear powers): https://mei.edu/publication/irans-drone-factory-tajikistan/.

Some folks here though Iran will be a cake walk, I doubt that will be the case.

I suspect if we really want to have the sort of change regards the threat Iran poses which we desire (no nukes, them NOT projecting force in the greater Middle East into Yemen, Iraq and Gaza, and now the added closure of Hormuz), we are just going to have to reduce them to a stone age society in a “literal” sense. If you break their economy, infrastructure (transportation, power, water, etc), military and security apparatus, communications, command and control, bad enough, eventually they will have a hard time doing these things.

20 posted on 06/11/2026 7:17:30 PM PDT by Red6
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