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Op-Ed: I Tried Firing An AR-15 Yesterday And I Have Literally Been Soiling Myself For 17 Straight Hours
The Bee ^

Posted on 05/25/2026 12:28:55 PM PDT by Tench_Coxe

The AR-15 - the deadliest abomination known to man. A gun so terrible it's killed more people than net neutrality and Trump's tax cuts combined. And to demonstrate how awful this weapon is, I did something foolish: I tried firing one. And the experience was so horrible I have not stopped crying and soiling myself since.

Yes, even as I type this, tears fill my eyes at the remembrance of pulling that trigger and the terrible things that followed. And my pants... my pants are so soaked.How to describe the experience of firing that monstrosity? When I pulled the trigger, it was like an explosion went off INSIDE THE GUN. There was fire and everything! And then the gun ATTACKED ME! It lurched back at me, trying to strike me with that flat part on the back of it. You heard me right: The gun tried to BLUDGEON ME TO DEATH!

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: banglist

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LOL
1 posted on 05/25/2026 12:28:55 PM PDT by Tench_Coxe
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To: Tench_Coxe

Mehโ€ฆthe Bee is no longer satire. Back when it was it was funny but that was then and this is now. Its trivial to imagine a leftist say this seriously.


2 posted on 05/25/2026 12:32:34 PM PDT by 556x45
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To: Tench_Coxe

May I suggest pepto ‘dismal’. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ


3 posted on 05/25/2026 12:32:48 PM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? On hold! Enlisted USN 1967 proudly. ๐Ÿšซ๐Ÿ’‰! ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ™! Winning currently!)
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To: Tench_Coxe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTPfOIsWF5g


4 posted on 05/25/2026 12:33:34 PM PDT by EvilCapitalist (I wasn't expecting a kind of Spanish Inquisition.)
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To: Tench_Coxe

They a 12 gauge with 3” shells.....


5 posted on 05/25/2026 12:34:40 PM PDT by Paladin2 (Q)
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To: Tench_Coxe

Try a 12 gauge with 3” shells.....


6 posted on 05/25/2026 12:34:59 PM PDT by Paladin2 (Q)
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To: Tench_Coxe

Stung by the BEE!!


7 posted on 05/25/2026 12:35:45 PM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: Tench_Coxe
The doctor is telling me that with all the urination and tears, I could dehydrate myself

Please do not mix the two fluids. I love to drink the tears of liberals. I'll pass on the urine, whether from fear or marking their territory on Lindsey Graham's leg.

8 posted on 05/25/2026 12:36:12 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (If the Islamic Republic government is in power in Iran when the war is over, we will have lost.)
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To: Tench_Coxe

Try firing a .22LR calibre rifle...Better get ready to brace yourself...


9 posted on 05/25/2026 12:36:26 PM PDT by JBW1949 (I'm really PC.....Patriotically Correct)
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To: Tench_Coxe

This would have been the reaction of the woman who went to our church in Eugene OR. She was terrified of guns, which is the equivalent of being terrified of cabbages. They have the same volition abilities.


10 posted on 05/25/2026 12:38:43 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: Tench_Coxe

You.should have mentioned that the article is from 2021 in response to a real opinion article by a libtard with similar content.


11 posted on 05/25/2026 12:40:18 PM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: JBW1949

That reminds me...my Ruger Mark II beckons.


12 posted on 05/25/2026 12:40:41 PM PDT by GingisK
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To: 556x45

Oh it’s funny.......maybe it’s your sense of humor....or more specifically, the lack there of. ๐Ÿ˜‚


13 posted on 05/25/2026 12:46:03 PM PDT by V_TWIN (America....so great even the people that hate it, won't leave)
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To: dayglored

Author suffers from PTSD: Pulled Trigger Soiled Diaper.


14 posted on 05/25/2026 12:47:44 PM PDT by Sirius Lee ("Never argue with a fool, onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.)
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To: Tench_Coxe

“The AR-15 - the deadliest abomination known to man. A gun so terrible it’s killed more people than net neutrality and Trump’s tax cuts combined. And to demonstrate how awful this weapon is, I did something foolish: I tried firing one. And the experience was so horrible I have not stopped crying and soiling myself since.” Were you prepping for a colonoscopy at the time?


15 posted on 05/25/2026 12:51:29 PM PDT by kawhill (Dywedwch Wrthbym because + Add translation Welsh-English dictionary 'Tell Us')
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To: Tench_Coxe

As I often point out as AR trivia, in Ft. Polk basic my rifle was a select fire AR-15 with the 3 prong flash suppressor, not an M16.


16 posted on 05/25/2026 12:51:53 PM PDT by ansel12
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To: Tench_Coxe
JAMBOG!

Op-Ed: I Tried Firing An AR-15 Yesterday And I Have Literally Been Soiling Myself For 17 Straight Hours

08/06/2021 12:38:14 PM PDT ยท by DFG ยท 41 replies
Babylon Bee ^ | 08/06/2021 | Babylon Bee

https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-bloggers/3982738/posts

Search fiunction still works, even on posts almost SIX YEARS OLD.

17 posted on 05/25/2026 1:01:00 PM PDT by Paal Gulli
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To: KarlInOhio

Liberal tears are like a fine wine, a salve for my wounds and excellent lubrication for my AR15s.


18 posted on 05/25/2026 1:01:23 PM PDT by allblues (God is neither a Republican nor a Democrat but Satan is definitely a Democrat)
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To: Paladin2

How about a 10 gauge with 3 1/2” magnums?


19 posted on 05/25/2026 1:20:22 PM PDT by Spacetrucker
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