Posted on 04/20/2026 9:11:57 AM PDT by dayglored
U.S. — Local man Richard Manfred was arrested today after failing to give attention to a matter despite President Trump thanking him for his attention to the matter.
President Trump had very generously expressed appreciation for Manfred's attention to this matter, but Manfred made no effort whatsoever to give the matter his attention.
"Lock him up," said Trump, after learning of Manfred's negligence. "How can I say 'Thank you for your attention to this matter' if the matter was not given attention? That would make me a liar. Making me out to be a liar is illegal and anyone who does that should be in prison for a very, very long time."
According to his lawyer, Manfred plans to plead guilty to the charge of "failing to attend to this matter."
"I take full responsibility for my actions," said Manfred. "I let the President and my country down. I saw the President's thanks for my attention, and I did not give it. I will accept the punishment that I am due."
At publishing time, Manfred's lawyer had clarified that the "matter" Trump wanted attention to was a Truth Social post about dolphins being ugly.
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Just like at a Coffee Shoppe, there are
Jokes a Grande, or BIG,
and Jokes Demi, or Little.
This is Demi-Joke or demitasse.
In other /sarc news:
The US Coast Guard in Lake Superior has a new job. Ever since the Federal Government blew the whistle on the SNAP program and started rounding up those responsible, Somali pirates have been operating on Lake Superior.
The large ore boats on Lake Superior are adding razor wire and water cannons to combat the unwanted boarders while they maneuver to evade the attacks.
Suspected of operating out of Big Sucker Creek area on the North Shore, these threats to navigation are demanding ransoms for the lakers they capture.
It is suspected Governor Walz (Retard-MN) and Attorney General Ellison (Muslim-MN) are providing cover for the pirates. It seems like any who are captured are back in the skiffs within days or are harbored in one of the large Minnesota Sanctuary Cities.
Sort of like a mini-haha?
Hey, even The Bee occasionally has a slow day...
I do think the Somali Pirate on Lake Superior story would have more of a Bang.
(In fact a bang bang bang bang. Yeah, we carry while on the water. How do you think we manage to lose so many firearms?)
That is Bee-worthy. Hopefully the Dems in Minnesota don’t read it or they might do it.
I was hoping to pass it off to the Bee, but I am paying for too many subscriptions as it is.
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