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8 Amazing Features Of Trump's Proposed Presidential Library
The Bee ^
| Apr 1, 2026
| The Bee
Posted on 04/02/2026 1:14:53 PM PDT by dayglored
Though Donald Trump will leave office after a new president is elected in 2028, his legacy will live on forever in the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library in Miami. The proposed library will feature an impressive lineup of exhibits, with some of them still being kept under wraps.
The Babylon Bee has heard from inside sources that visitors can expect to see the following exciting features:
- Two 18-hole golf courses that look like Trump's face when seen from the air: You'll be challenged by the tricky par-5 that leads into his nostril.
- "Build-A-Wall" play area for kids: Hours of fun, and Mexico will pay for it.
- Diet Coke fountain: 70,000 gallons of sweet, fizzy beauty.
- 27-foot-tall statue of Barron: Life-sized, of course.
- Food court offering taco salads made with love by actual Mexicans: McRibs, too, but only for limited times, unfortunately.
- A hardworking staff made up entirely of Marco Rubio: He's busy, but he handles every job well.
- Hall of Wives: A long, long corridor honoring the many Mrs. Trumps.
- 50,000 copies of Trump: The Art of the Deal: A library has to have some books, right?
The world has never seen a presidential library like this, many people are saying so.
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; presidentiallibrary; satire; trump
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I can't wait to visit! Wow!!
1
posted on
04/02/2026 1:14:53 PM PDT
by
dayglored
To: dayglored
Keep the money flowing as it helps the working population.
2
posted on
04/02/2026 1:17:41 PM PDT
by
deport
To: dayglored
3
posted on
04/02/2026 1:21:14 PM PDT
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
To: dayglored
LOL.
I’ll pass, and opt for the real one. It will still have too much gold filigree, but at least no ‘diet coke fountain’.
4
posted on
04/02/2026 1:22:38 PM PDT
by
Jamestown1630
("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
To: dayglored
9. A reflection pool filled with liberal tears.
To: dayglored
There should be an hole golf course in the building, with one hole per floor.
6
posted on
04/02/2026 1:33:47 PM PDT
by
Jonty30
(I would have been an awesome merchant marine. I can sell convenient store items very well.)
To: dayglored
Golden Dome on the roof! Not just missile defense, but actual gold!
7
posted on
04/02/2026 1:37:36 PM PDT
by
bigbob
(We are all Charlie Kirk now)
To: T.B. Yoits
8
posted on
04/02/2026 1:39:24 PM PDT
by
dayglored
(This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
To: dayglored
They will only accept Trump coin in the gift store. Baron and Eric gotta eat, too.
To: dayglored
A Kimberly Guilfoyle gyro stand.
To: dayglored
9. It looks like neither a flak tower built in Soviet brutalism style, or a double wide trailer turned into an adult book store/strip club.
11
posted on
04/02/2026 2:39:53 PM PDT
by
KarlInOhio
(Dept. of Education should teach about Nietzsche: DOGE didn't kill it and now it's stronger than ever)
To: T.B. Yoits
10. A bigly ballroom like no one’s ever seen before.
12
posted on
04/02/2026 2:46:52 PM PDT
by
Tell It Right
(1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: dayglored
The Babylon Bee is great...
To: T.B. Yoits
11. Interactive keyboard challenge table to see who can type the fastest lib trolling tweet.
14
posted on
04/02/2026 2:49:14 PM PDT
by
Tell It Right
(1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: Vermont Lt
12. An escape room in which the key to get out is found only in one of Melania’s drawers.
15
posted on
04/02/2026 2:50:24 PM PDT
by
Tell It Right
(1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: Tell It Right
The Epstein wing of the library will be glorious.
Right next to the 30 dollar martini bar and the stores that sell merch.
The special edition Bible store with the kid rock cross promotion will be sweet.
16
posted on
04/02/2026 2:52:18 PM PDT
by
Fuzz
To: bigbob
13. For kids there’s a Wack-A-Mullah game.
17
posted on
04/02/2026 2:54:05 PM PDT
by
Tell It Right
(1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: Fuzz
Good ones!
14. Above the election room will be a glass ceiling with paintings of Hillary and Kamala.
18
posted on
04/02/2026 2:57:01 PM PDT
by
Tell It Right
(1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: Tell It Right
‘ Above the election room will be a glass ceiling with paintings of Hillary and Kamala.’
Thank god they don’t wear skirts.
19
posted on
04/02/2026 3:01:22 PM PDT
by
Fuzz
To: dayglored
Gold-plated toilet dubbed the William J. Clinton Reading Room.
20
posted on
04/02/2026 4:09:52 PM PDT
by
OrangeHoof
("Our property is protected by two pitbulls. They love visitors, especially with marinara or garlic.")
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