Posted on 12/04/2025 6:47:22 AM PST by Diana in Wisconsin
An inebriated raccoon was taken into custody after allegedly breaking into a Virginia liquor store on Black Friday, partaking in what officials have deemed a "liquor-fueled rampage."
A trail of smashed liquor bottles led police to the masked suspect, who was found passed out in the sploot position on the Ashland business's bathroom floor, according to Hanover County Animal Protection and Shelter.
In an embarrassing photo shared by authorities, the plastered procyonid could be seen lying next to a garbage can and toilet.
The town later identified the four-legged intruder as "Cole," noting he may need a ride home after the "wild weekend."
Officials said police brought the furry bandit to the animal shelter to sober up.
"After a few hours of sleep and zero signs of injury (other than maybe a hangover and poor life choices), he was safely released back to the wild, hopefully having learned that breaking and entering is not the answer," officials wrote in a statement.
The shelter added there is no footage of the incident, as the raccoon entered the building through the ceiling and "took the cameras down with him."
Police have not yet released a motive for the trash panda's invasion, though they responded to the animal shelter's statement with a GIF of TV talent judge Simon Cowell clapping.
(Excerpt) Read more at foxnews.com ...
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My wife pointed this story out to me, and I thought it was hilarious, especially the picture of it laying next to the toilet.
I thought: “Could have been me at some point in the past!”
I thought it was a relatively clean bathroom for a liquor store...raccoon on the floor or not!
I know they are considered vermin, but...there is something about both raccoons and squirrels that I find kind of appealing. Squirrels cannot cross a road without getting squished, but otherwise, their survival skills are impressive!
Man. we’ve all be there, right?
He booked himself a room in the local saloon.
They no doubt think of us as vermin too, but largely have adapted to being our neighbors.
At least he tried to make it to the toilet before throwing up. More than can be said for a lot of people who drink too much.
only to find Gideon’s bible.
C’mon Rocky Boy!
I thought they were smarter. This one clearly wasn’t, but it was pretty fat, so it was getting food somewhere. Probably a relative of the ‘coon in Virginia.
I wonder if raccoons that drink too much get bedspins…..
I’ve seen definitions of vermin which could include any animal (such as “animals which are injurious to human interests, such as agriculture or disease containment”), but I’d argue that vermin typically excludes carnivores, which includes members of the families of cats, dogs, bears, seals, weasels, skunks, panda, mongooses, and yes, raccoons; ... and also ungulates, which includes antelope, giraffes, deer, cattle, pigs, elephants, manatees, horses/zerbas/asses, rhinos, hippos, and, oddly, whales.
I’ve seen definitions of vermin which could include any animal (such as “animals which are injurious to human interests, such as agriculture or disease containment”), but I’d argue that vermin typically excludes carnivores, which includes members of the families of cats, dogs, bears, seals, weasels, skunks, panda, mongooses, and yes, raccoons; ... and also ungulates, which includes antelope, giraffes, deer, cattle, pigs, elephants, manatees, horses/zerbas/asses, rhinos, hippos, and, oddly, whales.
UPDATE: OOPS. Elephants and manatees are not ungulates in spite of their diets.
Been there, done that!!!! LMAO!!!
He’s praying to the porcelain god...
Its all over the internet. The picture is hysterical.
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