Posted on 08/27/2025 11:54:35 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
SCOTLAND — As part of a sweeping effort to put a stop to Muslim migrant rape gangs terrorizing the country, UK authorities have begun rounding up and arresting all potential rape victims.
Experts say this will effectively put an end to migrant rape crimes in England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland.
"We have heard the voice of the people, and we have resolved to solve this problem once and for all," said Prime Minister Keir Starmer. "We will begin by arresting all women under 52 years old, and then we will hide them in highly secure prison cells in an undisclosed location where our beautiful, beloved asylum seekers cannot find them."
"This is for their own safety. We care deeply about our women and girls."
Sources say "Operation Chastity" has already begun, with Scottish polis rounding up all the members of an all-girls' boarding school in Edinburgh. "Whit d'ye mean yer arrestin' me, ya daft bawbag? Ah didnae dae onyhin'!" cried one 12-year-old, brandishing a claymore at arresting authorities. "Let me oot, ye filthy scunner! Freedommm!"
Sources expect the UK to be completely cleansed of the presence of rapable women by the beginning of next year.
At publishing time, the UK had also been forced to arrest all its livestock.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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The ridiculous humor of Babylon Bee is becoming prophetic.
We are living in “The Irrationally Dangerous Era”.
“Balls!” Said the Dundee bobby. “If I had two, I’d be a man.”
“At publishing time, the UK had also been forced to arrest all its livestock.”
LOL!!!
No victims, no crime! Brilliant!
It’s really sad when you have to do a double-take on parody to make sure it is...parody.
“Beautiful, beloved asylum seekers.” That’s just what they think of them, both there and in the US. Can’t flatter and kowtow to the “migrants” enough. Citizens? Who cares about THEM?
Don’t give them any ideas!
I can just imagine the police saying….”Do you have a license for those?”
Of course, deporting all the rapist migrants isn’t an option.
Also, preventing women over ther voting for pro migrant policies that brought all this on, isn’t an option they will consider, either.
Nope they will just keep blaming the native white men for not saving themselves from their own bad decisions.
My favorite part: “At publishing time, the UK had also been forced to arrest all its livestock.”
And deport all UK natives to Rwanda
Any day they’ll decide that Shariah Law is the solution to the rape gangs problem. If there are any unmarried women of 6 years or older, it’s their own fault.
This line was pure gold!
I really hope the Bee captures every possible humor prize of the year.
That’s OK ... the muzzards will rape all the “men” ...
I wish I could laugh.
Charles would declare it a beautiful idea.
Charles is practically a muzzie himself.
Hey, that should work for guns also ... arrest anyone who might be a victim of gun violence.
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