10 Ways Democrats Plan To Win Back Men

The Bee ^ | May 29, 2025 | The Bee

[dayglored]

The Democratic Party is struggling with approval among men. They know they're going to have to turn that around if they want to have any chance in 2028.

To help the Democrats out, The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of things the party is planning to do to win back male voters:

1. Beards: Having hair on your face automatically makes you look more competent, no matter how feminine you may act.

2. Create more young men by trans-ing young women: Soon, women will no longer exist, and the Democrats will have all the men.

3. More butt slaps: It works for football teams.

4. Shirtless beach volleyball at the abortion clinic: This can also be made into a calendar to improve fundraising.

5. Camo tampons for the men's room: Just don't drop them in the forest woodland, or you'll never find them.

6. Run even older candidates: People like Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders give something for men to aspire to.

7. Use sports analogies in every political speech: "Men, we're going to need to throw a Hail Mary from behind the 3-point line and strike out climate change with a mean Pick 6!"

8. Hire Andrew Tate as a consultant: He seems like a real man's man.

9. More Hillary Clinton: Men can't get enough of her.

10. Truck: Something with a truck.

Look out, Republicans, there's a new manly party in town.

[dayglored]

These are sure to work!

[dayglored]

See also:

Dems Unveil Plan To Win Back Men By Having Gay Guy Grow A Beard (FR thread)

https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/4319788/posts

[fwdude]

“Camo tampons for the men’s room”

I’m done.

[T.B. Yoits]

Feminize them as they’ve been doing for a century.

[Tell It Right]

11. Make a My Little Pony video game, since all men like horses and young men like video games.

[Tell It Right]

12. Advertise on Apple Beer: a lot of manly men like beer and men also have Adam’s apples.

[Red Badger]

If you have to tell us you’re masculine, you ain’t................

[Tell It Right]

13. Get history professors to give political speeches: because men liked the History Channel before it became nothing but Pawn Stars and American Pickers.

[Tell It Right]

14. Force universities to DEI Asian women as half the students in their engineering and computer science departments: because white men think Asian women are hot

[ProtectOurFreedom]

10A. Eat carburetors for breakfast.

[antidemoncrat]

“10 Ways Democrats Plan To Win Back Men”
1. Get rid of Walz
2. Get rid of Kamala
3. Get rid of AOC
4. Get rid of Crocket
5. Get rid of Schumer
6. Get rid of Pelosi
7. Get rid of Jeffries
8. Get rid of Durbin
9. Get rid of McConnell
10. Get rid of Klobuchar

Did I miss anyone that needs to go?

[woodbutcher1963]

Feel the BERN!

I know he is technically a Socialist.
That really makes him an honest Democrat.

[RoosterRedux]

Eat carburetors for breakfast.

I tried that. Gave me gas.

[wally_bert]

I need fuel injection for morning energy.

[Ancesthntr]

“Did I miss anyone that needs to go?”

Both Clintons, Sanders and both Obamas.

The problem here though is that you don’t stop your enemy from destroying himself…so hopefully the Dims will keep all of them.

[butterdezillion]

lol

[Antihero101607]

You can do all that, but for me it won’t be enough. Nothing will be enough.

[Fireone]

A good start, I wouldn’t expect you to have to compile the complete list, it could take weeks!

[Kudsman]

What about PSA on co-ordinating accessories? The men need help matching their sock and fanny pack colors.

[Billthedrill]

“Something with trucks” isn’t specific enough. “Something with big trucks.” Yeah, that’ll work. Monster trucks. RuPaul’s Monster Truck Drag Show emceed by Dylan Mulvaney and Davey Hogg. Better still.