Posted on 05/29/2025 9:21:51 AM PDT by dayglored
U.S. — After spending hundreds of millions of dollars on political consultants to learn how to win men back, the Democratic Party unveiled its new strategy of having a gay guy grow a beard.
As men have left the Democratic Party in droves over the past several elections, Democrats believe they can reverse the tide by having a very small homosexual man sprout a light beard.
"This will do the trick," said political consultant Dan Jennings as he rubbed more Rogaine onto Pete Buttigieg's jawline. "If you want to win back men, there is nothing better than a homo who takes maternity leave growing out a beard. They will look at this beard and think, 'hey, he's just like me, other than being miniature-sized and a fruitcake. I think I'll vote Democrat.' It's going to happen, just watch."
While many Democrats hailed the gay beard plan, some members of the party were less sure of the strategy. "I'm not convinced that a little fairy boy in a maternity bra is going to connect with men just because he grew a beard," said Representative Jared Huffman. "Still, I was sure the bald guy up in Minnesota doing jazz hands was going to work, so maybe they know something I don't. I'll wait and see."
At publishing time, the Democratic Party had decided the ploy would work better if the small gay man always left a few buttons on his collared shirt unbuttoned.
Brutal.
Weak-chinned, upturned-nosed, guys generally look better with more of their face covered.
“having a gay guy grow a beard.”
Hey, give him a break ... I’ll bet his “husband” likes it
Unfortunately, the attractive effect of the beard is completely crushed by the off-putting effect of the news that Pete just had a Brazilian Wax job done on his privates.
Can they show him breastfeeding as well???
This effeminate punk is a fraud.
Huh. This is NOT about Barrack Obama’s beard, Michelle.
So was Kamalaladingdong, and she almost became President. Watch for Pete to run in 2028.
He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay
He sleeps all night and works all day
(Apologies to Monty Python.)
Of course he is. There are a lot of little old ladies that just love Pothole Pete.
The ones leaving the Dem party are tired of being ask to grovel and beg for forgiveness for the sin of the day. It became hard to keep up with what was allowed.
“ by having a very small homosexual man sprout a light beard.”
And become brave astronauts .
Preparing for a voyage to Uranus .
Apologies?
Remember, the Pythonic Lumberjack turned out to be a poofter.
Well, the Buttster is already the apotheosis of manly manhood, so it may not be a fair test. Davey Hogg tried it and had to be hospitalized for high levels of testosterone, so he’s out. Gotta wonder if Dylan Mulvaney is available.
[looks around confused ...] “Was it something I said???”
The Party That Cannot Tell You What A Woman is, Mad Men Will Not Vote For Them. https://torrancestephensphd.substack.com/p/the-party-that-cannot-tell-you-what
Bootyplug's beard has delivered me from that demonic spirit.
Imagine this guy against JD Vance. They’d have to mop up whatever is left of him after.
Almost? She got whipped bad in the EV count.
Yes, she did, and the country clearly wanted Trump in office, not her.
It's just that I remember 2020 very well. So last November I was on the edge of my seat until well after the votes were tallied and it was called for Trump. The Left would stop at nothing to install their chosen puppet. Fortunately the bar was too high this time for their shenanigans.
I thank God every day that we aren't hearing "President Harris".
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