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Dems Unveil Plan To Win Back Men By Having Gay Guy Grow A Beard
The Bee ^ | May 28, 2025 | The Bee

Posted on 05/29/2025 9:21:51 AM PDT by dayglored

U.S. — After spending hundreds of millions of dollars on political consultants to learn how to win men back, the Democratic Party unveiled its new strategy of having a gay guy grow a beard.

As men have left the Democratic Party in droves over the past several elections, Democrats believe they can reverse the tide by having a very small homosexual man sprout a light beard.

"This will do the trick," said political consultant Dan Jennings as he rubbed more Rogaine onto Pete Buttigieg's jawline. "If you want to win back men, there is nothing better than a homo who takes maternity leave growing out a beard. They will look at this beard and think, 'hey, he's just like me, other than being miniature-sized and a fruitcake. I think I'll vote Democrat.' It's going to happen, just watch."

While many Democrats hailed the gay beard plan, some members of the party were less sure of the strategy. "I'm not convinced that a little fairy boy in a maternity bra is going to connect with men just because he grew a beard," said Representative Jared Huffman. "Still, I was sure the bald guy up in Minnesota doing jazz hands was going to work, so maybe they know something I don't. I'll wait and see."

At publishing time, the Democratic Party had decided the ploy would work better if the small gay man always left a few buttons on his collared shirt unbuttoned.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; beard; petebuttigieg; satire
It's so manly....
1 posted on 05/29/2025 9:21:51 AM PDT by dayglored
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To: dayglored
> "If you want to win back men, there is nothing better than a homo who takes maternity leave growing out a beard. They will look at this beard and think, 'hey, he's just like me, other than being miniature-sized and a fruitcake. I think I'll vote Democrat.' It's going to happen, just watch."

Brutal.

2 posted on 05/29/2025 9:23:48 AM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

Weak-chinned, upturned-nosed, guys generally look better with more of their face covered.


3 posted on 05/29/2025 9:24:16 AM PDT by 9YearLurker
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To: dayglored

“having a gay guy grow a beard.”

Hey, give him a break ... I’ll bet his “husband” likes it


4 posted on 05/29/2025 9:25:52 AM PDT by antidemoncrat (In a way ge is right as)
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To: dayglored

Unfortunately, the attractive effect of the beard is completely crushed by the off-putting effect of the news that Pete just had a Brazilian Wax job done on his privates.


5 posted on 05/29/2025 9:26:21 AM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

Can they show him breastfeeding as well???

This effeminate punk is a fraud.


6 posted on 05/29/2025 9:27:18 AM PDT by Cowgirl of Justice
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To: dayglored

Huh. This is NOT about Barrack Obama’s beard, Michelle.


7 posted on 05/29/2025 9:27:33 AM PDT by dangus
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To: Cowgirl of Justice
> This effeminate punk is a fraud.

So was Kamalaladingdong, and she almost became President. Watch for Pete to run in 2028.

8 posted on 05/29/2025 9:29:06 AM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

He’s a lumberjack, and he’s okay
He sleeps all night and works all day

(Apologies to Monty Python.)


9 posted on 05/29/2025 9:40:55 AM PDT by Leaning Right (It's morning in America. Again.)
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To: dayglored

Of course he is. There are a lot of little old ladies that just love Pothole Pete.
The ones leaving the Dem party are tired of being ask to grovel and beg for forgiveness for the sin of the day. It became hard to keep up with what was allowed.


10 posted on 05/29/2025 9:43:31 AM PDT by griswold3 (Truth Beauty and Goodness)
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To: dayglored

“ by having a very small homosexual man sprout a light beard.”

And become brave astronauts .
Preparing for a voyage to Uranus .


11 posted on 05/29/2025 9:45:29 AM PDT by HereInTheHeartland (“I don’t really care, Margaret.”)
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To: Leaning Right

Apologies?

Remember, the Pythonic Lumberjack turned out to be a poofter.


12 posted on 05/29/2025 9:46:38 AM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: dayglored

Well, the Buttster is already the apotheosis of manly manhood, so it may not be a fair test. Davey Hogg tried it and had to be hospitalized for high levels of testosterone, so he’s out. Gotta wonder if Dylan Mulvaney is available.


13 posted on 05/29/2025 9:50:04 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: NorthMountain
Apologies to Monty Python only because I changed the lyrics a bit. And yes, the lumberjack was a bit of a disappointment to his girlfriend.


14 posted on 05/29/2025 9:50:33 AM PDT by Leaning Right (It's morning in America. Again.)
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To: Leaning Right

[looks around confused ...] “Was it something I said???”


15 posted on 05/29/2025 9:52:13 AM PDT by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: dayglored

The Party That Cannot Tell You What A Woman is, Mad Men Will Not Vote For Them. https://torrancestephensphd.substack.com/p/the-party-that-cannot-tell-you-what


16 posted on 05/29/2025 9:58:18 AM PDT by Palmettojones
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To: dayglored
I've always had beard envy because I can't grow one to save my life. I look like Mr. Hyde about halfway through his transformation.

Bootyplug's beard has delivered me from that demonic spirit.

17 posted on 05/29/2025 10:04:02 AM PDT by Texas Eagle ("Throw me to the wolves and I'll return leading the pack"- Donald J. Trump)
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To: dayglored

Imagine this guy against JD Vance. They’d have to mop up whatever is left of him after.


18 posted on 05/29/2025 1:02:49 PM PDT by unlearner (Still not tired of winning.)
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To: dayglored

Almost? She got whipped bad in the EV count.


19 posted on 05/29/2025 1:08:32 PM PDT by Fledermaus ("It turns out all we really needed was a new President!")
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To: Fledermaus
> Almost? She got whipped bad in the EV count.

Yes, she did, and the country clearly wanted Trump in office, not her.

It's just that I remember 2020 very well. So last November I was on the edge of my seat until well after the votes were tallied and it was called for Trump. The Left would stop at nothing to install their chosen puppet. Fortunately the bar was too high this time for their shenanigans.

I thank God every day that we aren't hearing "President Harris".

20 posted on 05/29/2025 2:24:30 PM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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