10 Reasons Women Make Better Astronauts Than Men

The Bee ^ | Apr 15, 2025 | The Bee

[dayglored]

Though men were the first to reach for the stars, science has proven definitively that women are far better suited to the task. Consider the evidence.

Here are ten reasons women make better astronauts than men:

1. They look so cute in their little space outfits: Science has proven that girl astronauts look way cuter in little space outfits. Men could never pull this off.

2. Space is a vacuum and women love vacuums: For cleaning.

3. If you time the mission right, they're all in good moods and super cooperative: But if your timing is off... God help you.

4. They need much less oxygen because of their smaller brains: Very efficient.

5. They have plenty of experience with high Gs from spin class at the gym: We're pretty sure this is how it works.

6. In space, no one can hear you passive-aggressively say "It's fine.": Just the sweet sound of the silent void.

7. If the onboard AI goes rogue, they can manipulate and guilt-trip it into submission: Finally, they can use their powers for good.

8. Shuttle capsule will smell like lavender and stuff: Space travel has never been so relaxing.

9. If the hull of the ship springs a leak, they can plug the hole with a stiletto from one of their high heels: There are so many uses for those.

10. Women are never wrong, so the mission is a guaranteed success: Why didn't someone think of this before?

There you have it! We hope this educational article will help you not underestimate female astronauts in the future.

[Larry Lucido]

LOL!

[calljack]

And they will sync with the alpha.

[sonova]

Let’s hear it for the Knocker Rocket!

[Getready]

Yes, and no.....

[Getready]

Yes, and no.....

[Glad2bnuts]

No, in space the hair is flyaway, take off the clothing and you have the same with the hooters. Gayle King would likely needing to hold them down so she could see to put her hair on.

[Waverunner]

15: They are psychologically suited to long term deep space missions as long as there is a cat onboard.

[FamiliarFace]

I thought it was Katy Perry who said that.

Either way, yes, they’re a bunch of horse’s asses.

[Gil4]

You DO believe Science, right? RIGHT?? :-)

Yes, but not enough to capitalize it.

[bunkerhill7]

Hubbie can drop her off at WalMars for 10 hours of shopping while he orbits and takes a nap.

[FateAmenableToChange]

Wife’s response to this:

Reasons men make better astronauts than women:
(1) In space, there really is no one to ask for directions.
(2) Space suits hide that building dad bod really well.
(3) Chili nights can also double as show tunes rehearsals.
(4) If the AI goes rogue, men have long since mastered James T. Kirk’s “what is a kiss?” anti-AI technique.
(5) In space, deep and meaningful communication consists solely of fist bumps and brief sign language exchanges. No need to come close to your limit of 2000 words per day.
(6) The buzz from high-G maneuvers is kind of like that time you smoked some totally dank weed with your buddy behind the school gym.
(7) The tools for repairing mechanical stuff in space are completely organized in the most amazing dream workshop ever. And they’re all shiny.
(8) The dares you’ll do regarding “who can walk naked in vacuum the longest” are totally awesome.”

[KevinB]

Not one of the Bee’s best.

[sphinx]

#11. Women are smaller and lighter than men, so there is more cargo capacity for carrying moon rocks back to Earth.

NASA used to be pretty good at this, but the price per ounce was prohibitively high for anyone except universities riding the federal grant gravy train. Greater cargo capacity should yield lower costs, bringing moon rocks into range for the luxury home market and maybe eventually even the mass market. I am reserving a space in my garden for a moon rock landscape boulder.

If NASA can find a mass market for this, we might yet make it pay for itself. MAGA!!!!

Until that happens, space is only good for communications, intelligence and, if the balloon goes up, fighting wars against peer level adversaries ... and for that, space would be ideal, as there would be no civilians and vulnerable historic sites in the way.

[aquila48]

Bookmark

[Vaduz]

The Bee has funny and sharp writers imagine if they did a side line of headstones.

[DennisR]

#16. If something goes wrong, they will be the first to make it known so someone else (the guy) can fix it.

[BenLurkin]

About the hair.....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3BFzepWiUwU