10 Reasons Women Make Better Astronauts Than Men

The Bee ^ | Apr 15, 2025 | The Bee

[dayglored]

Though men were the first to reach for the stars, science has proven definitively that women are far better suited to the task. Consider the evidence.

Here are ten reasons women make better astronauts than men:

1. They look so cute in their little space outfits: Science has proven that girl astronauts look way cuter in little space outfits. Men could never pull this off.

2. Space is a vacuum and women love vacuums: For cleaning.

3. If you time the mission right, they're all in good moods and super cooperative: But if your timing is off... God help you.

4. They need much less oxygen because of their smaller brains: Very efficient.

5. They have plenty of experience with high Gs from spin class at the gym: We're pretty sure this is how it works.

6. In space, no one can hear you passive-aggressively say "It's fine.": Just the sweet sound of the silent void.

7. If the onboard AI goes rogue, they can manipulate and guilt-trip it into submission: Finally, they can use their powers for good.

8. Shuttle capsule will smell like lavender and stuff: Space travel has never been so relaxing.

9. If the hull of the ship springs a leak, they can plug the hole with a stiletto from one of their high heels: There are so many uses for those.

10. Women are never wrong, so the mission is a guaranteed success: Why didn't someone think of this before?

There you have it! We hope this educational article will help you not underestimate female astronauts in the future.

[dayglored]

They knew it all along!

[bigbob]

As Bezos’ girlfriend said “we put the ass in astronaut”.

[dayglored]

And in Zero-G, all boobs are perky again!

[jonascord]

If they are all cooped up together in that capsule, will their menses synch up?

[dayglored]

> If they are all cooped up together in that capsule, will their menses synch up?

Not in a 10-minute sub-orbital flight. But over a span of >6 months, they likely will.

[Magnum44]

[GreenLanternCorps]

Depends on the woman astronaut…

[Waverunner]

#11 : In any Alien encounter, they only have to be careful when taking a shower.

[FlingWingFlyer]

The “crew” did look a little 80s Disco Jiggle with their cute “astronaut” outfits. One small jiggle for humans, a giant cartwheel for humankind.”

[dayglored]

BTW, the synchronizing is called "The McClintock effect", and for the most part it's considered anecdotal urban myth rather than scientific fact.

Since women have different period lengths, over time they're likely to synchronize eventually, but then they're just as likely to drift apart, that is if you believe Science.

You DO believe Science, right? RIGHT?? :-)

[Tell It Right]

#12: If women get lost on the flight back to Earth, they’re not afraid to ask for directions.

[GaryCrow]

And in Zero-G, all boobs are perky again!

That's not a problem with for this bunch. With the amount of silicone in that capsule it's a good thing it didn't blow up, half the continent would be coated in rubber.

[dayglored]

> The “crew” did look a little 80s Disco Jiggle with their cute “astronaut” outfits.

Dang! I missed that. I need to go back and find that video....

> One small jiggle for humans, a giant cartwheel for humankind.”

Everybody is doing their part. Their part is jiggling. My part is watching.

[Antihero101607]

Being a cramped, enclosed space, the inside of Katy Perry’s head provides precious extra cubic inches of storage space.

[Tell It Right]

#13: If liftoff doesn’t go well, the women astronauts support the ABORT button.

[HIDEK6]

#1 is right.

The rest of the list is contrived.

[GOPJ]

If the onboard AI goes rogue, they can manipulate and guilt-trip it into submission: Finally, they can use their powers for good.

Shuttle capsule will smell like lavender and stuff: Space travel has never been so relaxing.

Ping

[Tell It Right]

#14: Women are good at driving the spacecraft since it doesn’t have to be parallel parked.

[know.your.why]

At least Jeff knows what a woman is.

[Liz]

Women are never wrong, so the mission is a guaranteed success.........

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OK by me.