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Reminder: American Women Have Until January 20th To Find A Man To Get Them Pregnant Or One Will Be Selected For Them
BabylonBee.com ^
| 1-6-2025
| Bee Staff
Posted on 01/07/2025 12:59:30 PM PST by servo1969
ATTENTION: American women have until noon on the 20th of January, in the Year of our Lord 2025, to find a man to get them pregnant or one will be selected for them.
At precisely noon, Trump will be inaugurated as the 47th president of the United States. As his first act, he will sign an executive order requiring all women to produce children for the glory of the American theocracy. Any woman without a man will be assigned one through the Supervised Triage of Unique Dads (STUD). Women caught actively not getting pregnant will be sent to the Gestational Camps in Guantanamo Bay.
A period of one year is allowed between pregnancies while the mother recuperates from her holy work.
Women who are advanced in years and no longer capable of birthing children will be assigned to a family as a helper for the purpose of helping young mothers. Any woman refusing to help raise children in any fashion will be sent to the Detroit Salt Mines.
Men who either refuse to have children or are advanced in age (65 or older) will be called "totally gay."
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylon; babylonbee
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To: servo1969
21
posted on
01/07/2025 2:40:28 PM PST
by
Bratch
To: Morgana
22
posted on
01/07/2025 2:41:40 PM PST
by
Steely Tom
([Voter Fraud] == [Civil War])
To: SaveFerris
23
posted on
01/07/2025 2:55:01 PM PST
by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
To: servo1969
To: MCF
25
posted on
01/07/2025 4:17:02 PM PST
by
6ppc
(During times of universal deceit, telling the truth becomes a revolutionary act -George Orwell)
To: servo1969
26
posted on
01/07/2025 4:19:26 PM PST
by
meyer
("When, in the course of human events,....")
To: servo1969
Does the STUD have any say in this? They never do.
27
posted on
01/07/2025 4:40:46 PM PST
by
Libloather
(Why do climate change hoax deniers live in mansions on the beach?)
To: servo1969
To: Morgana
29
posted on
01/07/2025 5:20:15 PM PST
by
Chode
(there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
To: PGR88
30
posted on
01/07/2025 7:27:09 PM PST
by
MikelTackNailer
(When in doubt I whip it out. Got on the girl's volleyball team it's a Free-for-All!)
To: Magnum44
31
posted on
01/07/2025 8:08:58 PM PST
by
SaveFerris
(Luke 17:28 ... as it was in the Days of Lot; They did Eat, They Drank, They Bought, They Sold ......)
To: servo1969
What about those of us that were snipped thus unable to participate in the procreative process anymore?
32
posted on
01/07/2025 8:43:22 PM PST
by
Some Fat Guy in L.A.
(Still bitterly clinging to rational thought despite its unfashionability)
To: Some Fat Guy in L.A.
Sorry pal.... you missed the cut.
33
posted on
01/08/2025 5:52:35 AM PST
by
LastDayz
(A Blunt and Brazen Texan. I Will Not Be Assimilated.)
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