Posted on 10/08/2024 2:14:23 PM PDT by Navy Patriot
SEATTLE, WA — Tragedy struck the city of Seattle today as Minnesota Governor Tim Walz quickly walked by a polygraph machine near a campaign event and caused it to explode.
"I'm such a knucklehead sometimes, but I am definitely not a Chinese asset," Walz said as he walked by a lie detector, causing it to blow up due to sheer proximity.
The explosion reportedly decimated a 3-block section of the downtown area, causing significant traffic delays on State Route 520 and Interstate 5. The Seattle Police Department advised the public to shelter in place as rescue workers secured the area.
Experts claimed the polygraph never would have exploded if not for the increased instability caused by Tim Walz's constantly waving arms. "The combination of Walz's erratic gyrations and deceptive nature was a recipe for disaster," said Dr. Ian Yellen, a lie expert. "We need to keep him as far away from lie detector tests as possible."
Walz gave a brief statement to the media following the blast to notify the public that he had survived the incident.
"Whew! That was close! I was almost attacked by terrorists just now!" Walz said. "But I singlehandedly deactivated the nuclear bomb at the last minute," he said. "I learned a lot about working under this type of pressure as a high school football coach and during my extensive combat experience in Iraq."
At publishing time, 60 Minutes correspondent Bill Whitaker confirmed that his interview with Kamala Harris and Tim Walz had been severely edited out of fear that their television appearance would trigger the remote detonation of other polygraph machines across the country.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Love it !!!
:)
Those Israeli’s are GENIUSES!
First there were pagers in the face (and other parts)...
Then risky radios...
But now,
just when you thought you’d seen it all,
now...
There’s “Lie and Die!”
“Lie and Die,” the precisely targeted method for taking out communists and their minions based on their most foul emanation of the “false witness particles,” discovered in the 1970’s by the late great mensch, Ron Popeil, a good Jewish boy.
Selective and just detection of criminality, with EXPLOSIVE results!
And there’s more! It effective on move RINOs too!
Call now at 1-(800)-BLOW-U-UP, that’s 1-(800)-BLOW-U-UP,
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(by RonBlow)
(abstracted, please see any night after 2 AM
on ME-TV, the informercial king)
The Bee constantly outdoes itself.
This one was great.
What’s incredible is the though processes of the people who write these articles. How they come up with some of them is beyond me, unless it’s Divine Inspiration.
The Lord Works In Mysterious Ways.
Bill Clinton said “Heh-heh he made it explode. Get it? Explode?”
Hong Kong or Beijing?
What was the lie exactly?
Tough to keep track of them without a scorecard.
But it was Hilary that the New York Times identified as a congenital liar.
ROTFL! He has revealed he lies constantly to all voters. Woke Demonicrats will vote for Harris/Walz anyway, but many may decide he’s pathologically woke, even for them. Plus, they like the first amendment.
No no no.. This!!
Howard Stern Under Fire For Exploiting Mentally Challenged Guest For Cheap Laughs
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Not bad
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