Least Masculine Society In Human History Decides Masculinity Is A Growing Threat

Babylon Bee ^ | Jan 17, 2019 | Babylon Bee Staff

[dayglored]

U.S. - As society becomes increasingly dominated by nerds, hipsters, and computer programmers, people have fixated on what they think is our biggest problem: masculinity.

"It's just toxic and causes nothing but problems," said Elisha Mcewen, a vegan activist and no threat whatsoever to spiders or tight jar lids. "I was sharing my feelings on masculinity with other men in my drum circle, and we all agreed that if we ever encountered masculinity, we would run far away."

Masculinity is said to have in the past been the cause of such things as violence, war, bullying, defeating the Nazis, carving society out of untamed wilderness, and landing men on the moon, but now masculinity is being driven out of society to make sure nothing like those things ever happens again. However, there are reports that masculinity still lurks out there, which is a source of anxiety to modern men and causes them to have upset tummies.

"I am just so worried that somewhere out there someone is still knowingly producing testosterone," said Wyatt Lockhart, a Twitch streamer who had never thrown a punch outside of a video game. "I constantly have to find a safe place to calm down just thinking about it."

Duke Miller, a Marine sergeant and one of the few remaining examples of traditional masculinity, was asked about his feelings on the negative view of masculinity, but he seemed confused by the word "feelings" and then punched out an elk just because.

[dayglored]

> If that moose was trying to bite your sister, it deserved a good punching out.

Yes! Although it's perfectly acceptable to punch out a moose (or an elk) "just because".

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

Nothing new. Back in 1968 after the murder of Bobby Kennedy by a Palestinian Immigrant it was decided the men in the US were too masculine and violent so various methods of making them more feminine where hatched, from meds given to school students and removing toy guns from stores.

[antidemoncrat]

I keep thinking if the Mexican cartels decided to invade the US they might just win given our “woke” military and Democrats’ plans to defund the countries’ police forces.

[Sacajaweau]

As long as the "boys" go hunting and fishing and go nuts over a football game, I'm not worried.

Masculinity has no single definition.

[Sacajaweau]

I'm responding anyways...just to get my two sense in.

Masculinity has no single definition.

[NorthMountain]

Masculinity has no single definition.

OK ... maybe so. But some things are definitely NOT masculine.

Jus' sayin' ...

[daniel1212]

Masculinity is said to have in the past been the cause of such things as violence, war, bullying, defeating the Nazis, carving society out of untamed wilderness, and landing men on the moon, but now masculinity is being driven out of society to make sure nothing like those things ever happens again.

Polemical Parody!

A committed liberal may be defined as someone who is driven by a sneaking suspicion that someone, somewhere in each locality has seen thru their smokescreen of deception enough to expose their craftiness to others who may come to their right senses. Thus their recourse is to double-down on their prevaricating persuasive propaganda, and with disruptive protests against reality opposing their delusions.