Posted on 01/02/2024 9:51:47 AM PST by dayglored
U.S. - As society becomes increasingly dominated by nerds, hipsters, and computer programmers, people have fixated on what they think is our biggest problem: masculinity.
"It's just toxic and causes nothing but problems," said Elisha Mcewen, a vegan activist and no threat whatsoever to spiders or tight jar lids. "I was sharing my feelings on masculinity with other men in my drum circle, and we all agreed that if we ever encountered masculinity, we would run far away."
Masculinity is said to have in the past been the cause of such things as violence, war, bullying, defeating the Nazis, carving society out of untamed wilderness, and landing men on the moon, but now masculinity is being driven out of society to make sure nothing like those things ever happens again. However, there are reports that masculinity still lurks out there, which is a source of anxiety to modern men and causes them to have upset tummies.
"I am just so worried that somewhere out there someone is still knowingly producing testosterone," said Wyatt Lockhart, a Twitch streamer who had never thrown a punch outside of a video game. "I constantly have to find a safe place to calm down just thinking about it."
Duke Miller, a Marine sergeant and one of the few remaining examples of traditional masculinity, was asked about his feelings on the negative view of masculinity, but he seemed confused by the word "feelings" and then punched out an elk just because.
Yeah, I know, it's from 2019. But it's still relevant, and as we enter 2024, we sure could use a laugh.
This is NOT satire!
This is true.
> "I am just so worried that somewhere out there someone is still knowingly producing testosterone"
Can I get a show of hands?
Yes it is from 2019
But it reads more like reality than satire
The Bee is so funny!
I think the time is right for all us alpha males that daydream about conquering the world!
DAMMIT!!! The Bee stung me this time ...
R. Lee Ermey, RIP.
The Bee keeps nailing reality.
It all started when they removed monkey bars and other “dangerous” equipment from playgrounds and put down rubber mulch because they were afraidsome kid was gonna get hurt.
Monkey bars taught a valuable life lesson......have a healthy respect for where you are and what your doing or you would suffer the consequences.
Getting hurt as a kid is in and of itself a life lesson.....they wrap kids these days in bubble wrap and later wonder why they can’t handle the reality of society......the slightest pressure and some of ‘em fold like a cheap suit.
Thank the Clintons, Obamas, Bidens, Pritzkers and some other queer types.....
I thought that mop-headed ‘ho was supposed to be a lesbian, but there she is gettin’ cozy with a man.
Little MissGender and Admiral Dick Less will rage at such an insensitive -- and funny -- comment.... :)
I am tired of goats that say “Fah” rather than “Bah”. The ones that say “Bah” are Bah-goats. The ones that say “Fah” are Fah-goats.
TPTB want us to be all good little sheeple with interchanging roles....
but we are not interchangeable...
men when acting like men can do things women can not do, and women when acting like women can do things that men can not do...
we have our roles in this life, and too many are shirking their roles.....
I punched out a moose yesterday.
It’s a threat to those without it.
If that moose was trying to bite your sister, it deserved a good punching out.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.