Posted on 05/19/2023 9:01:18 AM PDT by dayglored
ST LOUIS, MO — Anheuser-Busch, the company that makes Bud Light, has suffered weeks of stagnant sales following a simple marketing campaign celebrating breathtaking female woman Dylan Mulvaney, who is totally a woman. In response, Bud Light has worked tirelessly to revive its brand and appeal to loyal customers by adding mullets to every can.
"These mullets prove just how well we know our customers," said Bud Light Marketing Director Stacey Mulberry-Saffron while explaining the strategic value of focus groups and social media surveys. "We're confident customers will return in droves for this refreshing can of business-in-the-front-and-party-in-the-back."
Mulberry-Saffron added that, while adding a legendary head of hair to each can rose to the top of ideas, a few other brilliant customer-centric ideas proved to be close contenders, including:
"Hoo boy, I's just rarin' to get my paws on a gut-chuggin' can o' that Bud Light after obstraining...abstraming...after not drinkin' it for 27 days straight," said one customer representative of Bud Light's focus groups. "Me 'n the old lady are more chipper 'n gators in a daycare bein' that they done repented o' that whole girly-boy blunder."
At publishing time, Bud Light had lost another swath of customers after the can was revealed to be wearing a butch lesbian mullet.
https://babylonbee.com/news/appealing-to-their-consumers-bud-light-cans-now-have-mullets
Give 'em a click, they've earned it!
<< camouflage can >>
That much is true. They’re just digging themselves a deeper hole.
They hope to ‘reverse the motto’;
Take a Silk Purse and re-Make a Sow’s Ear out of it!
Putting trans-activist Dylan Mulvaney on the can was much more of a corporate Wokeness parody than anything that the Bee could think up.
Ah yes, the Hemi crowd.
I said when this started, their only way back was free beer.
Well, we’re there with the 20 dollar rebate offer.
Cleavis ..this sure as shoot’n is some good bheer!
Ya got that right Billybob.
[They kiss each other hard on the mouth]
Went to a concert last night. No Budweiser, however, it was all AmBev brands, they pretty much have a stranglehold on some venues.
A Bush on Busch.
Which is the worst men’s hairstyles...the mullet or the combover. It’s a tough choice.
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