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Lori Lightfoot Blames Election Loss On 'Tricksy Hobbitses'
Babylon Bee ^ | Mar 1, 2023 | Babylon Bee Staff

Posted on 03/02/2023 8:26:37 AM PST by dayglored

CHICAGO, IL — After suffering a humiliating defeat in Chicago's mayoral election, Lori Lightfoot blamed her stunning loss on "those tricksy hobbitses."

"They stole it from us!!" wailed Ms. Lightfoot. "Nasty, tricksy little hobbitses!!"

The campaign watched the disastrous results come in from a dimly lit sushi restaurant, where the enraged Ms. Lightfoot gorged herself on juicy-sweet raw fish. "Gone!! It's gone, precious!!" cried Ms. Lightfoot to supporters. "Filthy, sneaky hobbitses!! Wicked, tricky, false! Curse them! CURSE THEM!!!"

Long considered the electoral frontrunner, Ms. Lightfoot saw her lead evaporate as supporters became steadily more concerned about being murdered. "I just don't want to die," said local woman Brandi Buckingham. "I can look past a lot with Lori Lightfoot - the eyes, how she walks on all fours, all of it. I just can't look past the whole murder thing. I know she'll take the loss hard, but I really hope she finds a new path forward."

At publishing time, aides for the two campaigns heading to a runoff reported the strange sense that some sort of creature was following them.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; chicago; hobbitses; isthisthebee; lorilightfoot; satire
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To: Opinionated Blowhard
she blamed it on racism and misogyny.

So, let's examine this claim. In 2019 Lightfoot won a runoff election with Toni Preckwinkle, another black woman. So in 2019, Chicagoans' gave 2 black women enough votes for a runoff election, which resulted in making Lightfoot mayor. Fast forward to 2023. We can only conclude based on Lightfoot's complaint that since 2019 Chicago has been repopulated with a majority of sexists and racists, which cost Lightfoot the 2023 race. Ok! /s

21 posted on 03/02/2023 9:35:55 AM PST by JesusIsLord
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To: dayglored

Face it you got elected Mayor and just never showed up


22 posted on 03/02/2023 9:58:48 AM PST by butlerweave
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To: dayglored

A great meme on FB. LL sitting against a wall, holding a cardboard sign: “Will work for CNN”


23 posted on 03/02/2023 10:03:30 AM PST by gundog (It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. )
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To: dayglored

One if the creepiest humans I have ever seen. No wonder she’s a lez. What kind of man would want to couple with that?


24 posted on 03/02/2023 10:16:38 AM PST by LeoWindhorse
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To: JesusIsLord

You have to remember that since 2019, a bunch of Trump MAGA supporters moved into Chicago. I mean, poor Jussie Smollett was beaten up by some of them.


25 posted on 03/02/2023 10:45:00 AM PST by Opinionated Blowhard (When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.)
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To: Lockbox

https://www.sparknotes.com/film/lordoftherings/quotes/page/3/


26 posted on 03/02/2023 12:10:30 PM PST by Disambiguator
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To: dayglored

Lori has lice cut hair displaying her racist African reality


27 posted on 03/02/2023 12:11:38 PM PST by bert ( (KWE. NP. N.C. +12) Juneteenth is inequality day )
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To: Disambiguator; Lockbox
> https://www.sparknotes.com/film/lordoftherings/quotes/page/3/

Thanks for posting that great reference page. I was having a time of it, trying to find that quote manually in my hardcopy...

28 posted on 03/02/2023 12:21:48 PM PST by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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