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CDC Addresses Died Suddenly Pandemic (Safe & Effective Satire)
1/13/23 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 01/13/2023 3:33:46 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet

Today the CDC Director, Rochelle "Hot Mess" Walensky, announced that they are taking dramatic steps to address the rapidly escalating problem of the Died Suddenly Pandemic. Walensky called the best minds of the CDC, FDA, NIH and Surgeon General to come up with a plan to address the pandemic. The CDC approved and directed guidance to all hospitals and doctors that a new category for reporting will be: Died Suddenly, Doctors Baffled.

HHS Secretary, Xavier Becerra (not a doctor, just a mediocre lawyer and ambulance chaser), announced that all hospitals and doctors receiving Medicaid or Medicare funds must use the new category extensively or have Federal Funds withdrawn.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; Humor; Science; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: pointlesspost; sarcasm; satire; scorn
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1 posted on 01/13/2023 3:33:46 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

We are about to be lectured on Long Covid BS.


2 posted on 01/13/2023 3:38:30 PM PST by lizma2
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To: RetiredTexasVet

MUST be Climate Change!


3 posted on 01/13/2023 3:45:58 PM PST by JJBookman (Democrats = Party of Bull$hitters)
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To: RetiredTexasVet
Died Suddenly Pandemic

Can a so-called cure for a pandemic create another pandemic?

I am almost certain Joe B told us the vaccine was safe and was a cure for COVID. I am almost certain I remember the CDC claiming that getting the jab would stop COVID.

Yet, every commercial break on TV and radio has another PSA pushing the jabs.

Follow the science ... right over the cliff.


4 posted on 01/13/2023 3:48:40 PM PST by TomGuy
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Sudden Instant Death Syndrome (SIDS)


5 posted on 01/13/2023 3:51:52 PM PST by Fresh Wind (The last remnants of the Old Republic have been swept away.)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

I won’t mock this because I’ve been asking that this be done for the past year.

All I can say is, “Rochelle, you’ve known about this for almost two years. What took you so long???”


6 posted on 01/13/2023 3:56:23 PM PST by Alas Babylon! (Gov't declaring misinformation is tyranny: “Who determines what false information is?” )
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To: JJBookman

I heard referee whistles


7 posted on 01/13/2023 4:00:30 PM PST by week 71
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To: RetiredTexasVet

There’s NOTHING coming out of these 3-lettered butthole agencies that anyone believes anymore, even if were the truth. They’ve lost all credibility, trust, assurance, etc.
They’ve lost it all.
IF they packed up, permanently down and went home, not a single soul on planet earth would’ve a crap or even miss em.


8 posted on 01/13/2023 4:01:24 PM PST by lgjhn23 ("On the 8th day, Satan created the progressive liberal to destroy all the good that God created...")
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Why? It could be as simple as bad Karma related to smugness, arrogance or the VAX.


9 posted on 01/13/2023 4:05:36 PM PST by OHPatriot (Si vis pacem, para bellum)
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To: TomGuy

I was shocked at TV ads when I moved back from abroad. The ENDLESS Rx ads. It was weird.

Aspirin is one thing. Asking your doc to prescribe a product is quite another.


10 posted on 01/13/2023 4:09:23 PM PST by RushIsMyTeddyBear
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Australian guinea pigs:

following pushed big-time on TV station, Channel 7, this week, featuring attractive older woman, ecstatic to be taking part in the trial. participants being paid approx US$100:

12 Jan: hit.com.au: Clinical Trials For Three In One Vaccine Begin On The Sunshine Coast (Queensland, Australia)
Easing pressure on healthcare system
by Georgie Marr
The University of the Sunshine Coast is hosting the clinical trial which seeks to incorporate Covid, RSV and influenza protection into a single Moderna jab...

Researchers are now seeking out more volunteers to participate in the clinical trials, including anyone between the ages of 50 and 75-years-old.
The clinical trials are expected to take several years before an approved vaccine is officially rolled out...
https://www.hit.com.au/story/clinical-trials-for-three-in-one-vaccine-begin-on-the-sunshine-coast-212885

rare FakeNewsMSM negative piece on the above triple vax. lengthy, detailed, worth reading all:

12 Nov 2022: CBC Canada: Moderna is banking on a combined COVID, flu and RSV vaccine. Will it work?
Social Sharing
Controversial decision to promote shot before clinical trials are done raises concerns
by Adam Miller
But while a safe and effective vaccine would be welcome as Canada faces a surge in pediatric RSV cases, stubbornly high COVID hospitalizations and deaths and steeply rising flu cases, the pharmaceutical company hasn’t released data to support the vaccine’s safety or efficacy...

Moderna’s decision to promote its vaccine before completing Phase 3 clinical trials — in which the vaccine would be tested on a larger group as part of a randomized, double-blind study — is controversial. It’s also raised concerns from vaccine researchers and infectious diseases experts about the motivations behind prematurely marketing the shot...
https://www.cbc.ca/news/health/moderna-covid-flu-rsv-vaccine-1.6647447

meanwhile, another channel pushing the following trial:

13 Jan: Channel 9, Australia: Australians could be first to experience dual COVID-19 and flu vaccine
By A Current Affair Staff
“I think the combination of a COVID vaccine and an influenza vaccine is really a no-brainer,” executive vice president of pharmaceutical giant Novavax, Silvia Taylor, told A Current Affair.
Novavax is beginning phase two of its trial in Australia and New Zealand...

Taylor said Novavax has done multiple trials in Australia over the years and testing is currently underway at 26 different locations across the country...
In Sydney’s east, at the Australian Clinical Research Network, Dr Mark Arya has been testing eligible patients between the ages of 50 and 80...

Taylor said some of the common side effects are “headache, nausea, some pain at the injection site” and “some swelling”.
Results for the phase two trial are expected in six months’ time and if all goes to plan, phase three will kick off in a matter of months.
“We think we could be on the market with our combination vaccine, as early as 2025,” Taylor said...
https://9now.nine.com.au/a-current-affair/novavax-australians-could-be-first-to-experience-dual-covid19-and-influenza-vaccine-following-trials/871b4e0b-e1e9-47e5-adfb-0eb68022803a


11 posted on 01/13/2023 4:13:42 PM PST by MAGAthon
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To: TomGuy

Yet, every commercial break on TV and radio has another PSA pushing the jabs.

/\

California has “ My Turn” jab commercials aimed at little kids.

Jab groomers.

Every time I turn on roku YouTube the first vid recommended is a get jabbed vid.

They just won’t stop milking this death cow.


12 posted on 01/13/2023 4:14:02 PM PST by cuz1961 (USCGR Veteran )
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To: TomGuy

“Can a so-called cure for a pandemic create another pandemic?”

Well, unless whatever is causing people to drop dead mysteriously is contagious, then it can’t be a pandemic. Not sure what you call a wave of non-contagious illnesses. There’s “cancer clusters” as a precedent I guess. Or syndromes, I suppose, that’s what they usually call something when they have no idea what is causing it.


13 posted on 01/13/2023 4:16:07 PM PST by Boogieman
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To: RushIsMyTeddyBear

If the mass media can induce mass hysteria, and mass psychosis, why not mass hypochondria? It certainly would be profitable for the pharmaceutical industry...


14 posted on 01/13/2023 4:17:46 PM PST by Boogieman
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To: RetiredTexasVet

We must torture more Beagle pups!


15 posted on 01/13/2023 4:18:42 PM PST by dljordan
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To: RetiredTexasVet

So many of us have been excoriated, shunned and pushed out by society for speaking about COVID, lockdowns, masks and the jab. Sadly, we were right and even worse, this is just the beginning. We will continue to be scrutinized and told to sit down and shut up.


16 posted on 01/13/2023 4:20:42 PM PST by mikelets456
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To: Boogieman

They’ll create a vaccine to cure the ailments of this vaccine..and people will line up to get it no questions asked.


17 posted on 01/13/2023 4:22:08 PM PST by mikelets456
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To: Boogieman
If the mass media can induce mass hysteria, and mass psychosis, why not mass hypochondria?

Several years ago my sister was visiting and we were talking about various tv programs.

I mentioned several medical dramas I record on TIVO to cut out commercials. I also said I could only watch one each evening -- because if I watched more, I would have symptom-overload the next day. LOL


18 posted on 01/13/2023 4:24:39 PM PST by TomGuy
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To: mikelets456

Moderna’s already pushing an mRNA shot to “fix” heart problems:

https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/4122959/posts


19 posted on 01/13/2023 4:27:50 PM PST by Boogieman
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Will there be an honest inquiry or just more talk about suppressing the truth and intimidating doctors?


20 posted on 01/13/2023 4:31:06 PM PST by Spok (They lie, we know they lie, and they know that we know they are lying. And still they lie.)
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