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Experts Say They Don't Know What Thing Is Causing Everyone To Suddenly Collapse, But It's Definitely Not That One Thing
The Babylon Bee ^ | January 9, 2023 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 01/10/2023 12:32:55 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

U.S. — Medical experts are absolutely stumped as to what could be causing the recent uptick in healthy, young people everywhere that are suddenly collapsing with heart failure. Despite their uncertainty, experts do feel confident that we can rule out that one thing as the culprit.

"It's too early to say what could be causing this, but it's never too early to say what isn't causing this," said local expert, Dr. Scott Rufflinger. "This could be caused by anything. But the one thing we know for certain is that it's definitely not what we're all thinking that's behind this — if you know what I mean. We can go ahead and rule that thing out right now because Science just called us on the phone and told us not to discuss it. We always follow Science."

According to sources, experts have been working tirelessly around the clock to try and get to the bottom of why so many seemingly perfectly healthy, athletic people are falling over suddenly. "I wish I could point to something in the past year or two that large groups of people were exposed to, or forced into, but nothing comes to mind," added Dr. Rufflinger. "If only there was one thing all these patients had in common."

At publishing time, experts said they had narrowed down the list of what most likely was causing these sudden health issues down to: climate change, racism, Christian Nationalism, standing up too quickly, standing up too slowly, and not eating enough bugs.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Health/Medicine; History; Humor; Miscellaneous; Science; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: collapses; experts; fauci; health; jab; medicine; satire; science; thatonething
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
I was into the second paragraph before reading the source.

DUH!!!

21 posted on 01/10/2023 2:15:34 PM PST by Churchillspirit (Pray for President Trump)
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To: Candor7

I just hope it is mainly democrats being taken out. That would be a silver lining.


22 posted on 01/10/2023 2:49:55 PM PST by oldasrocks
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Sunspots have been acting up lately.


23 posted on 01/10/2023 3:27:56 PM PST by TChad (Progressives are in favor of removing healthy sex organs from children. Conservatives oppose this.)
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To: oldasrocks
I just hope it is mainly democrats being taken out. That would be a silver lining.
I made that point a few months ago and was assured it would be only a small thing.

However, if the shots do take out considerably more liberals, they will find a conservative group or casue to blame it on.

24 posted on 01/10/2023 3:42:56 PM PST by citizen (Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people - John Adams 1798)
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To: Candor7; Tolerance Sucks Rocks

DIED SUDDENLY

https://rumble.com/v1wac7i-world-premier-died-suddenly.html


25 posted on 01/10/2023 5:41:21 PM PST by Fred Nerks (Fair Dinkum!)
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To: dblshot

Caught with hands in the cookie jar!


26 posted on 01/11/2023 2:59:24 AM PST by Candor7 ( ( Ask not for whom Trump trolls...He trolls for thee!))
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To: Fred Nerks
Long white fibrous structures inside the veins of the deceased, causing massive clotting.

This is post mortem data. Invaluable.

I posted it on Facebook and immediately got a screaming notation of censorship....as a fictitious video that had been debunked ( It has not been debunked.)o
Facebook has an attack logarithm for that video.I wonder if it can be seen 0n my FB feed....can Fred Check?

Pfizer and The Swamp still are deep into FB suppressing free speech.

Now that means that its true IMHO.

27 posted on 01/11/2023 3:25:59 AM PST by Candor7 ( ( Ask not for whom Trump trolls...He trolls for thee!))
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