Posted on 09/22/2022 6:46:05 AM PDT by servo1969
U.S. — According to sources, wives across the nation have begun their yearly autumn ritual in which they carefully select pots of autumn-colored mums they wish to take home and immediately kill.
"Fall is here! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" said a spokeswife for the American Wives Union in an official statement. "Soon our front porches will be decked out with pots of red, yellow, and orange-colored mums we bought at the grocery store, which will live 12 hours and immediately wither and die before our very eyes, forcing us to go back to the store to buy more, again and again, until Christmas! I just LOVE fall!"
Several thousand husbands groaned and rolled their eyes at the statement, but confirmed their hands were completely tied as their wives were "just so stinkin' cute."
"I've had to take out a second mortgage on the house to pay for all this, but look at my wife squealing and spinning in circles with her fall decor! It's so adorable it's almost criminal," said one local husband. "I can't say 'no' to that."
At publishing time, husband scientists are desperately working on technology that would make mums immortal so they can finally save some money.
There is a solution, short of divorce: buy potted ferns and plastic flowers; stick the plastic flowers in the fern pots, then winter the ferns in the garage where they get minimal sunlight, being sure to water them once per week. Rehang the ferns in the spring without the plastic flowers, then add the flowers in the Fall.
As someone who has sold THOUSANDS of Mums in her Garden Center Career, this is so very true!
That said, SOME Mums are Perennial, meaning if you plant them in the ground in the right location, they’ll come back from year to year.
The vast majority grown for ‘Fall Consumption’ are not, and are basically just for looks. ;)
This rings so true in my household!
Oh my gosh, this is sooooo true. But they are so pretty at the grocery store!
Reading just the headline (a grand Free Republic tradition), I was wondering why wives were killing mothers (in the UK, mum = mother)
Yep, we have ours. Also have the pumpkins, but they serve a dual purpose, the deer love them when the get soft.
Whenever my wife and I go to Lowes or Home Depot looking for plants, I hum the Jaws theme...................
Perfect! :)
Why do my perennial mums still die? Ugh!
PS I have some bare root daylillies that need planted but my flower bed is not ready. (gotta kill the weeds and start over.) Can i plant them in a large pot? Where should i store them? So many different suggestions on the net !!
My wife is on the “Do Not Honor the 7-Day Plant Return Policy” list at both Lowe’s AND Home Depot. They literally make her sign a statement at checkout agreeing to that.
My mom’s day lilies are in a pot on the deck. So far they’ve survived, but they’re in northwest Florida where it rarely goes down into the 20s.
Mums like a sunny spot with good drainage. If your soil has too much clay, they can rot easily. And make sure you’re buying them for your correct growing Zone and are buying Perennial (sometimes marked as ‘Hardy’) Mums versus the commercially grown ones.
https://www.homefortheharvest.com/perennial-mums/
Easiest way to store Daylily is to put them in a paper sack or a mesh bag with plenty of air circulation; don’t crowd them. Shake off as much dirt as you can, if they’ve been freshly dug. Store the bulbs (usually hung) for winter in a cool, dry location. Humidity is the enemy, so not near a dryer vent or in a wet basement. The ideal temperature is ABOVE freezing but no warmer than 50 degrees.
The corn stalks are not cheap either. I've seen them at farm stands for as much as $30 a bundle and the local soccer moms are snapping them up and tossing them into the back of their Honda Odysseys.
I think the local farmers make more money on dried up corn stalks than the corn itself! And pumpkins aren't cheap either.
I really don’t care for mums. Not sure what it is about them, but I’m always on the lookout for other fall flowering plants. So far, things in my garden that have survived the summer are mostly still looking pretty good, so I will keep these going until the first frost, if I can.
I used real pumpkins a few years ago on my walkway. It was pretty, but they were expensive. It’s also too bad that real leaves don’t look as nice as the fake ones. I have so many real ones, we rake and rake and rake them up. Plus we’re downwind from the neighbors, so whatever they don’t pick up comes over to my yard. If we ever move, that’s one thing I’d like to change.
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