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What All Those Car Warning Lights Mean - A Guide for Women
The Babylon Bee ^ | Aug 17, 2022 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 08/22/2022 1:33:51 PM PDT by fwdude

Cars are incredible contraptions. But what do all the funny lights on the dashboard mean? Ladies, this handy guide is for you!

Behold! A detailed explanation of each dashboard light:

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: automotive; babylonbee; humor
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To: CFW

Our family had a 1981 Ford Escort with a 4-speed. There was a light that would come on to tell you when to shift, which was fine if you wanted to lug the crap out of that tiny four-banger. I put electrical tape over it right away, and the tape stayed on until the car died 7 or 8 years later.


21 posted on 08/22/2022 1:56:43 PM PDT by HartleyMBaldwin
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To: fwdude

This lady loves it.


22 posted on 08/22/2022 1:57:14 PM PDT by Bigg Red (Trump will be sworn in under a shower of confetti made from the tattered remains of the Rat Party.)
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To: fwdude

maybe just have one all-purpose “Ignore This Warning” warning light ...


23 posted on 08/22/2022 2:05:03 PM PDT by catnipman (In a post-covid world, ALL "science" is now political science: stolen elections have consequences)
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To: fwdude
Ladies flummoxed by the 710 sign on the engine

And the converse:

As a child, Beatrice “Tilly” Shilling played with building sets and spent her spare change on tools for tinkering with projects; at 16, she bought herself a motorcycle and started modifying it. She was a trailblazer practically from the day of her birth on March 8, 1909, so it’s not surprising that this British aircraft engineer would go on to solve a dangerous flaw in the Supermarine Spitfire, an iconic World War II aircraft. She was a pioneer in military aviation technology and an early advocate for women in engineering. It is quite fitting that we now celebrate International Women’s Day on her birthday.

and

Katherine Johnson was a NASA mathematician who helped calculate the flight path for NASA’s first manned space mission in 1962, and made important calculations for the Apollo moon landing. Her story was depicted in the film “Hidden Figures,” a critically acclaimed movie detailing the experience of Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan, and Mary Jackson — three African-American mathematicians who worked on John Glenn’s first launch into space.

24 posted on 08/22/2022 2:05:14 PM PDT by spokeshave (Get ahead by banning fossil fools, like McConnell, Biden, Pelosi, Feinstein, Schumer, Leahy, etc.)
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To: fwdude

My first job was working at a full service gas station in the early 70’s. This lady pulls in in a panic and says, “This little light on my dashboard is staying on and I don’t know what it is!!” I stuck my head in the window to have a look, and told her, “Try stepping on that little button on the floor next to your gas pedal.” She did, and off went her high-beam indicator light.


25 posted on 08/22/2022 2:06:31 PM PDT by fidelis (👈 Under no obligation to respond to rude, ignorant, abusive, bellicose, and obnoxious posts.)
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To: spokeshave
Bodecia.... regional Queen in England ...fought the Romans....chariot with swords on axles a nice touch.


26 posted on 08/22/2022 2:12:42 PM PDT by spokeshave (Get ahead by banning fossil fools, like McConnell, Biden, Pelosi, Feinstein, Schumer, Leahy, etc.)
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To: fwdude

The bee is going to be accused of being misogynist. ;)


27 posted on 08/22/2022 2:13:54 PM PDT by adorno
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To: fwdude

simple-just tell them each light needs the woman to bring the car to a man!

Oh, and bring money.


28 posted on 08/22/2022 2:18:56 PM PDT by Terry L Smith
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To: fwdude

What’s a woman? They do not exist. I mean after all even scientists can no longer tell us what a woman is. 🙂


29 posted on 08/22/2022 2:18:59 PM PDT by Robert DeLong
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To: fwdude
You CAN'T be serious! Are you KIDDING me?!?

Instead of being humorous, I find that article you posted so incredibly offensive, biphobic, gender dysphoric, xenophobic, pansexual, trans-antagonistic, racist, sexist, genderfluidic, misogynoir, and homophobic, that I am at a loss for words right now. I can't even! I mean, this is not the early 2010s we're living in anymore ... this is the 2020s!!! Get with The Agenda!

/s

30 posted on 08/22/2022 2:22:26 PM PDT by gw-ington (My preferred pronouns: she, him, it, senile, sleepy, puppet, laughing, hyena, stolen, election.)
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To: fwdude; ClearCase_guy; CFW; SamAdams76; Yo-Yo; spokeshave
When we bought our Toyota SUV a few years ago, my wife spent a good part on an afternoon going over the use manual. I was not interested. I had said I had no intension participating in the 21st century. My vehicle is a 2-K compatible 1972 Ford F-250 truck. I call hers the electronic car and seldom drive it.

I love having opportunity to point to Hidden Figures whenever someone says Mathematics is raciest.

31 posted on 08/22/2022 2:23:26 PM PDT by Retain Mike ( Sat Cong)
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To: fwdude

Sadly when I get my.mechanic to read the codes, he doesn’t really know what’s wrong all the time....lots of “well, it could be this, or could be that.”. Usually fixes it ok.got
324 k miles on the car. So no complaints completely.


32 posted on 08/22/2022 2:27:02 PM PDT by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and diamonds, and harder to find.)
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To: Robert DeLong
What’s a woman?

What's a WHAT? Never heard of that term before. Did you just make it up?

Republicans and conservatives are always making up stuff. Like Trump made up his "Big Lie" that the 2020 Election was stolen. Trump still can't figure out how much sense it makes that a senile Sleepy puppet candidate who hides in his basement for practically his entire Presidential election "campaign" can easily become "the most popular President in American history" with over "81 Million votes!" (WHY can't Republicans & conservatives understand that? Sheesh!)

33 posted on 08/22/2022 2:28:04 PM PDT by gw-ington (My preferred pronouns: she, him, it, senile, sleepy, puppet, laughing, hyena, stolen, election.)
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To: gw-ington
Did you just make it up?

No, it was used in the post title. 🙂

34 posted on 08/22/2022 2:29:53 PM PDT by Robert DeLong
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To: fwdude

I’m worried about men. I was in Lowe’s a couple days ago trying to purchase some aluminum angle. THREE guys didn’t know what that was. I amplified and said “I need some structural metal.” Blank stares. I said “You know, metal angles, channels, square tubes, round tubes, bar stock.” They looked at me as if I were a cyclops. I wandered the aisles until I finally found the metals section.

To his credit, one youngster went off to find the Grand Old Man of Lowe’s Who Knows Things and brought him over to me. The rack was out of 1” x 1” x 1/8” angle aluminum, but the Grand Old Man climbed the portable stairs and found some way up high.

Does anybody under 40 make anything anymore? Does anybody under 40 know anything about metal and fabrication?

Moral of my story: we shouldn’t just go slamming women for not knowing about those dashboard lights. Their male counterparts seem to be working at Lowe’s.


35 posted on 08/22/2022 2:31:42 PM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom (“May your neighbors respect you, trouble neglect you, angels protect you and heaven accept you”)
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To: gw-ington

You don’t sound like you are at a loss for words.


36 posted on 08/22/2022 2:35:58 PM PDT by Fido969 (45 is Superman! )
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To: fwdude
An old joke about one of the inventors of the Unix operating system.
"Ken Thompson has an automobile which he helped design. Unlike most automobiles, it has neither speedometer, nor gas gauge, nor any of the other numerous idiot lights which plague the modern driver. Rather, if the driver makes a mistake, a giant “?” lights up in the center of the dashboard. “The experienced driver,” says Thompson, “will usually know what’s wrong.”"

37 posted on 08/22/2022 2:41:58 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (If Hitler invaded Hell, I would make at least a favourable reference of the Devil...-Churchill)
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To: ProtectOurFreedom

My son does. He plumbs.

He was taught by great men in VBS who took their vacations to teach boys how to repair engines

He was taught by men in Royal Rangers who taught boys how to do manly outdoor things

He was taught by men kind enough to take this hyper talkative young boy hunting.

He was taught by the DVD Lawnmower Repair. It is truly great!

He was taught by the volunteer fire department men who took him in as a JR Volunteer at age 15 and he is now in year 12

He was taught by the men who helped him when we bought our first motor a 22 hp Craftsman Lawnmower tractor at age 10

He was taught by the men at church who gave him pointers on repairing the very used go cart he bought with saved money.

He was taught by UTube when he laid down a 70 foot curving brick sidewalk at 16. His memorable sentence? I finally figured it out Mom you didn’t buy any curved bricks!

He was taught by the men at church and others who gave him pointers on buying and repairing numerous dirt bikes.

He again was taught by UTube as he learned to run a wet saw and lay a 20 by 20 ceramic tile floor at 17.

He was taught by men who took the time, who talked to him, who listened.


38 posted on 08/22/2022 2:52:49 PM PDT by Chickensoup ( Leftists totalitarian fascists are eradicating conservatives. Leftists are genocidal. )
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To: ProtectOurFreedom

You are correct about the staff at those big box hardware stores. A buyer has to know the product. One cannot always trust the staff. I was looking for pocket door hardware and pocket doors..staff told me they (HD) didn’t carry it. I found them and kindly showed him where they were. He was the older expert in the department.
Note: people need a license to drive. Part of the test should be if they know how to operate all basic equipment and know what the lights, guages, computer screens, and knobs on the dashboard mean. Everabody.


39 posted on 08/22/2022 5:11:02 PM PDT by Getready (Wisdom is more valuable than gold and diamonds, and harder to find.)
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To: ClearCase_guy

Reminds me of a buddy who had an old Citroen with a 2 stroke engine when we were teenagers. He loved that car, mostly because it was different than anything anyone else had.

His senior year his sister’s car went in the shop just as she needed it for a trip out of state. Being a good brother he offered to let her use the Citroen IF she took care of it. He went over the car with her three times explaining the fuel tank, the oil tank and the spare tire and jack. He even LABELED the tanks as to which was which.
Four days after she left he got a call from his uncle. His sister had made it but the car hadn’t. She had put gas in the oil tank and oil in the gas tank.
He told his uncle to sell it for scrap.
He still hasn’t forgiven his sister.


40 posted on 08/22/2022 5:14:23 PM PDT by oldvirginian (The CCP is the world's largest criminal organization. The democrats are jealous.)
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