Posted on 08/15/2022 10:37:18 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Women are such unbelievably mysterious creatures, trying to figure out when one is mad at you can be, well, maddening! To help, we at the Babylon Bee have collected these very subtle clues to help men know when trouble is afoot.
- She says, "Hey, I'm mad at you right now" - If you listen carefully, you can pick up on this vague hint.
- Above your house is a skywriter currently forming the words "I'm mad at you" - Keep a keen eye out for this understated red flag.
- A toaster is currently hurtling towards your head - A good example of what psychologists like to call a "non-verbal" cue.
- She says, "Everything is fine", but she is weeping and pounding her fists on a couch pillow - Eh, probably nothing since she said everything is fine.
- She's currently chasing you around the dining room table with a meat tenderizer - Usually a bad sign, unless you're running away from her with a bag of meat.
- She unsubscribed from your podcast - Women can be so hurtful when they're upset.
- She burnt the meatloaf, which is normal, but there are also razor blades - This may be the right time to ask your wife about any bottled-up emotions she needs to express.
- She drove a tent spike through your head while you were sleeping and is now in prison - You know, maybe go ahead and check in with her if she says her favorite Bible verse is Judges 4:21.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Not one of their best pieces.
Nope, not one of their best. In any case, I usually don’t have trouble telling when my wife is mad at me, I just never know why.
I told my wife she was smothering me so she held the pillow down tighter.
“Not one of their best pieces.”
Agreed. Waste of time.
Lol!
If you need 9 different hints to figure out that she’s ticked off, you’re already in the Penalty Box.
#4. Passive denial sitting on the doorsteps of ANger: “Me? I’m fine. Why do you keep asking? What’s YOU’RE problem today?”
So no sex tonite?
21But as he lay sleeping from exhaustion, Heber’s wife Jael took a tent peg, grabbed a hammer, and went silently to Sisera. She drove the peg through his temple and into the ground, and he died. 22 When Barak arrived in pursuit of Sisera, Jael went out to greet him and said to him, “Come, and I will show you the man you are seeking.” So he went in with her, and there lay Sisera dead, with a tent peg through his temple.
I thought that this sounded familiar ...
Weak. Its simple at my house. A tight lipped “I’m fine” with a lack of eye contact. Uh oh.....
And the missing hint, No. 10: You ask her what’s wrong, and she says, “Nothing.”
So, a guy finds a bottle and a genie appears. He is given one wish. He says he is scared of flying and would like a bridge between Los Angelas and Hawaii.
The genie says, are you crazy? Do you know how difficult that would be given the depth of the Pacific ocean, the storms it would have to withstand and the fuel stations that would have to be created to make it there and back? Isn’t there anything else I could do for you?
The guy says....well, I have never been able to figure out women; how they think, what makes them happy, etc. Can you tell me everything about women?
The genie says....so, do you want that bridge 2 lanes or 4 lanes?
FYI, my wife and I have been married 48 years and I am still a work in progress.
Now that’s funny!
Basically when she says: whatever, do what you want. Caution guys. Don’t.
Stuff you don’t want to hear...
Is there anything wrong, honey?
No...?
Then why are you loading the shotgun?
5.56mm
My first hint would be if some woman said she was my wife. That would be mad.
😂 It doesn’t happen often but I catch on pretty quick. Also the “why” question. And if you look up “memory”, Mrs rktmans’ pic should be there. She: “ Don’t you remember?”. Me: “Remember what?”.
“fine” almost never is an affirmation
That too. “Well fine, do what you want, I don’t care” So the guy goes out and buys a Harley.
Whoever said that a woman never forgets, wasn't kidding.
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