Posted on 08/13/2022 2:19:26 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
BANGOR, ME — Stephen King fans have long been perplexed as to how the man who wrote The Shining, the Dark Tower series, and Misery could possibly be the same guy who logs onto Twitter and tweets like a 7-year-old chimpanzee with anger issues.
Well, you can consider this mystery solved: the King estate confirmed today that the famed author actually died when he got hit by that van back in 1999, and they've just been releasing manuscripts they found stuffed in his dresser drawer since then. But what about the insane rants posted on his Twitter account?
Enter this little gal: Penny, a clinically insane blue-throated macaw who sniffs glue regularly and suffers from Tourette's syndrome. Penny was hired to keep King's Twitter account running with political hot takes and commentary on current events. She logs on to his Twitter every morning and just starts ranting like an absolute maniac on whatever the current topic is, or smashes the keys to tweet something insane about Trump.
"ORANGE MAN BAD! ORANGE MAN BAD!" squawked Penny this morning after drinking her first cup of coffee laced with methamphetamines. "LOCK HIM UP! LOCK HIM UP!" She then got to work bashing her beak into the keyboard and tweeting insane things about DeSantis, Trump, Republicans, and just about every other political topic imaginable.
"We wanted King's voice to remain relevant in the political sphere," said Hank Herbert, one of King's estate managers. "And Penny is just the gal for the job. She's annoying, she squawks like all the time, and she pretty much acts exactly like an angry toddler, making her tweets perfect for King to go viral on lefty Twitter."
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
ROTFL! Oh man....
Just for a second, I was taken in.
Just for a second, I was taken in.
It does, in fact, make perfect sense. RIP ya S King basta.
Years ago I used to enjoy his books not knowing anything about his lunatic lib views until he took an open shot at W Bush in one......that was the last dollar that jackass ever made off of me.
Switched to Dean Koontz and never looked back.
I think when that van ran over king it gave him dain bramage.
Could make for an interesting lawsuit.
Half wit honey badger with dyslexia!! ROFL
Gotta love the Bee. Their satire is the best!
Comparing Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining to King’s “true to the book” version of the film adequately describes my problem with Steven King.
Way overrated. He has written a few good books and thats it.
“His Twitter Account Is Being Run By A Mentally Ill, Glue-Sniffing Parrot With Tourette’s”
that’s complete BS: his twitter account is being run by a Mentally Ill, Glue-Sniffing Parrot With Tourette’s that knows how to use a word processor ...
The book is almost always better than the movie...and like alot of writers and musicians the older stuff is also almost always better.
His, "On Writing," is an excellent guide for aspiring writers and is interspersed with autobiographical snippets about different events relevant to his inspiration, dealings with publishers, etc.
I always found it odd that even though he's a looney radical leftist, his protagonists often exhibit pretty conservative/libertarian thoughts and actions.
The whole Dark Tower/Gunslinger series is replete with warnings and admonitions to a world that, "forgot the face of their fathers," i.e. disconnected from their history and traditions. One of the characters in, "Cell," (King's early post-Katrina work) virtually makes the case for the Second Amendment.
In, "On Writing," he says when he writes he goes into a zone and the story plays like a movie in this mind and he doesn't so much create as he records.
The book is almost always better than the movie...and like alot of writers and musicians the older stuff is also almost always better.
—
True. Some writers reach a peak, then their work fades. One writer I can think of like that is Tom Wolfe. He hit his peak with books like Right Stuff and Bonfire of the Vanities, then his later books began to feel a bit repetitious. Not bad, by any means, but just not as fresh.
Suing the Bee ... would probably fail and he would look worse publicly than Meritless Garland or Potato Head Wray wearing Melania”s dresses.
He was already brain-damaged. The van incident just removed his filter.
I live about ten minutes away from his place in Bangor. When he’s here, and not at his place in Florida, he can often be seen driving around town (yes, it’s that small). Once, a few years ago, I encountered him at an intersection driving what can only be described as a small “deuce and a half”, and wearing what can only be described as something straight out of Che Guavara’s, or Castro’s closet. He saw me laughing at him as he glared, and turned the corner in front of me until I flipped him off with a big grin, and a wink. ;)
The title is everything you need.
Lordy how I love The Bee
This must have been the same macaw that flicked off all the W keys from the White House computers back in Jan 2001. Wasn’t it the Clinton Newsprint or Cracker Czar back then?
I never especially liked King because he was unrelentingly depressing. Oh, and he hated people like me as a group. That also tends to rub me the wrong way.
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