Posted on 07/12/2022 12:22:01 PM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
LOS ANGELES, CA — Governor Ron Desantis has responded to Governor Gavin Newsom's political ads in Florida by running political ads of his own in California. While Newsom's ads were urging libs to move to California, Desantis is begging the libs in California to stay put.
"Listen, folks, it's simple really — in Florida, we believe in clean sidewalks, and shrinking the homeless problem — NOT growing it!" said Governor Ron DeSantis in his California statewide ad. "So to all the woke libs out there let me be clear: do not come to Florida. Stay in California and indoctrinate your own kids — that is if you actually have kids you haven't aborted." Viewers are then treated to a shot of DeSantis wrestling an alligator.
"Here in Florida, we do not want more crime, or taxes, or a racist school curriculum. We want citizens that are BASED and red-pilled," continued DeSantis's ad. "Still thinking Florida is right for you, Cali libs? Well, just remember that we have American flags all over our state, we LOVE guns — and most importantly — President Trump lives here permanently." The commercial ends with a shot of DeSantis and Trump throwing commies out of helicopters.
Upon watching these ads, millions of Californians fainted on the spot. According to sources, they were so triggered by the alarming levels of patriotism that their California brains couldn't handle it.
At publishing time, many of the libs who saw the ads are now trying to sue Ron DeSantis for emotional damage and trauma. Ron DeSantis has responded with plans to run the same ads on CNN and MSNBC.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Bee
If only it were true.
Is the Bee, but shouldn’t be.
Got to the helicopter part before I realized I had been took... Good one Bee!!!
I got sucked in until the part about DeSantis wrestling an alligator.
4 more years...
desantis for florida governor 2022...
florida first!... 😎
This shouldn’t be satire.
I joined the Democrat Party so I could vote for Bernie, because a socialist is at least one step above a murderer.
Yea I got to the last line before I saw it was the Bee. I was thinking this sounds great, where's the link I want to watch it.
He may say that. I didn’t realize it was the bee at first.
Don’t come to Florida. Libs.
If a gator doesn’t get you on the way to mailbox, then the mosquitos will drain you dry on the way back. You’ll trip over the Palmetto bugs that manage get in your house and have to wrassle ‘em to kill them. The heat ain’t so bad, it’s the humidity - it will scald you. Deer like to commit suicide by jumpin’ out in front of your car, and the bears think your trashcan is for their entertainment. It’s almost as bad as Australia for hostile, venomous wildlife.
Then there’s Florida Man. He’s armed and dangerous. Don’t mess with his boat or his beer. Florida Woman is just like him, but meaner.
Seriously, don’t come here.
Much of what the Bee has posted as satire has come to pass.
I registered Dem only to get the union organizers at work off my back. Somehow, they got access to lists of non-union workers and their voter registration. Not only have they left me alone since I changed my registration, I also never get political junk mail anymore.
I got a terrible case of sun poisoning in FL
The right latitude and sun, and I about fry in 15 minutes.
I got a terrible case of sun poisoning in FL
The right latitude and sun, and I about fry in 15 minutes.
You got me!!!!!
I was nodding my head thinking, Good for him!!!!
Duh!!!
Thinking the same thing. I was disappointed when I saw it was from the Bee.
But DeSantis may very well do that at some point!
Where’s the ad?
I want the AD
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