Posted on 04/29/2022 9:07:42 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WASHINGTON, D.C.—A new report filed by the U.S. Department of Transportation finds that each and every time a motorist gets excited about a perfect parking spot at the front of a parking lot it turns out to be a "friggin' motorcycle."
"Hey, here's one—GAH! A FRIGGIN' MOTORCYCLE!" shouted Norman Dodgson, a volunteer who agreed to drive with researchers for six months. "I hate this! I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE!"
The phenomenon—dubbed "Interstitial Motor Mirage" by researchers—occurs in crowded parking lots when drivers are most desperate for a space. Because motorcycles don't sit back in a space as far as full-sized vehicles the spot can appear empty and ripe for the taking.
In a majority of cases, the driver will not notice the space is occupied until after they've bragged to other vehicle occupants about how they just found a perfect spot before realizing their mistake and exclaiming: "GAH! A FRIGGIN' MOTORCYCLE!"
According to researchers, Interstitial Motor Mirage affects all drivers, even other motorcycle owners.
"UGGGGGGH!" wailed Charlie "Dasher" Bowman, a tough guy on a Harley Davidson who often shopped at Bed Bath & Beyond. "Another friggin' motorcycle! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!"
Drivers who think they see a great parking spot and have their hopes immediately crushed are susceptible to fits of road rage, heart arrhythmia, and even death, say experts. In fact, DoT has filed a supplemental report on the researchers who died during the study.
In some rare cases, smaller vehicles can also cause Interstitial Motor Mirage—particularly the 1997 Geo Metro.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Fair enough lol
Hmmm, I got all the way to you post not realizing this was The Bee.
Left the store, got back in my car, and started it. Just then I received a phone call. While I’m talking someone honks at me to get me to leave my spot quicker, so now I have to sit here until we’re both dead.
True, but it’s a reminder that you’re doing the work of the lazy bastid who left it there in the first place.
I had a guy walk up to me once and say, “Why did you put your bike there?” I was in a car spot. I said to him, “Next time I’ll drive my car and put it there. Would that help?”
Either way you have to use a parking spot.
Good point!
I had this happen to me last Saturday! I don’t recall it happening before - thought it was an empty space....
At least they had two bikes parked in the spot!
I’m guessing drivers would be even more mad if all of those spots up front are designed and mandated for bikes. Hmm. First the handicapped people came for my parking spot and I did nothing. Then the electric car people came for my parking spot and I did nothing....
People don’t get so mad about bike parking spots because they are small. And a lot of people think that bikes are more economical than cars. Fools!
My 81 Rabbit disappears in most parking lots. Cars are behemoths now. Trucks even bigger!
This. Always looking for that end spot, hug the curb at the island in the parking lot, etc.
“I’ve got nothing against handicapped people, if it weren’t for them I’d never find a parking spot.” - Gallagher
They left off the obligatory conclusion:
Scientists were unable to exclude all possible explanations, and caution that more research is needed to confirm their findings. The authors of the study are seeking additional grant money to investigate further.
That last looks like a car worthy of strangling Isadora Duncan...
Hahahahahaha...I have never heard that exclamation of praise before!
But dadgumit...is that one sexy vehicle, or what?
It’s hard to tell what it is.
The story put out at the time indicated that Isadora died when a Bugatti broke her neck. But people say it was actually an Amilcar.
I wasn’t there...
“sit here until we’re both dead”
Very good, nicely done.
Sorry to hear that Viking. In Florida we have multitudes of close by H parking that goes virtually unused. Weird. Take care V.
They should make special parking for fat people like handicapped spots. Call them FP spots at the furthest end of the lot so they can walk off a few pounds.
Very interesting story. You definitely had some interesting “family”.
I had a friend that had a 70’s XKE in British Racing Green. Probably not kept up as well as your uncle’s, but still, a very nice car.. He had s heart attack and passed in his 50’s. To this day, when I see the occasional Jag like that...I think of the guy. I also wonder what happened to his car!
Man, just looking at that car makes my heart beat faster with automobile lust! Same feeling I get when I see a mint 1966 Pontiac GTO, droptop or hardtop!
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