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18-Year-Old Trying To File Her Taxes Wishing Her Teachers Had Spent Less Class Time On Polyqueer Trans Theory
Babylon Bee ^ | Apr 18, 2022 | Babylon Bee Staff

Posted on 04/19/2022 9:22:16 AM PDT by dayglored

PORTLAND, OR—Local 18-year-old Olivia Hannah Jones had to file her taxes for the first time this year. As she frantically tried to navigate the IRS's obtuse website and fill out the non-user-friendly forms needed for the little bit of income she made working as a graphic designer last summer, Jones muttered to herself that she really wished her teachers had spent less time on polyqueer trans theory and more time on how to fill out a 1099 form.

"1099-MISC? What the heck is that?" she muttered, trying to rack her brain for any trace of teaching she'd gotten in school that had covered this, but only recalling gender struggle sessions, critical race theory, and several drag queen story hours at the local library. "I really liked my math teacher Mx. Ryder, but I wish they'd at least spent an hour or two on how to file your taxes. Their coming-out party in our fifth-grade class was equal parts stunning and brave, but it certainly isn't helping me figure out what deductions I'm eligible for here."

Jones dug up her old notes from her high school economics class, but only found page after page on critical gender theory and a section on the systemic oppression of evil, colonizing arithmetic and its triggering effects on polygender people who bleed.

She sighed and rubbed her head.

"Well, at least I'll be able to get into Harvard."


TOPICS: Cheese, Moose, Sister; Education; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; humor; satire; taxes
IT'S THE BEE!! LAUGH!!

The Bee is really on a roll the past couple days...

1 posted on 04/19/2022 9:22:16 AM PDT by dayglored
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It’s funny because it’s true


2 posted on 04/19/2022 9:24:01 AM PDT by dsrtsage ( Complexity is just simple lacking imagination)
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To: dayglored

LOL!


3 posted on 04/19/2022 9:25:14 AM PDT by Rummyfan (In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man. Suppo)
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To: dayglored

“Well, at least I’ll be able to get into Harvard.”

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


4 posted on 04/19/2022 9:33:16 AM PDT by Mr. K (No consequence of repealing obamacare is worse than obamacare itself)
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To: dayglored


5 posted on 04/19/2022 9:38:23 AM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: dayglored
I literally asked the Econ teacher at the same high school where I was subbing: "Do you know how money (currency) is created in America?"

His answer was a honest and truthful, "No."

I left, shaking my head.

Poor kids.

6 posted on 04/19/2022 9:48:59 AM PDT by Aevery_Freeman (Enjoy your radioactive roots and berries!)
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To: dayglored

It’s true, that’s what makes it so funny.


7 posted on 04/19/2022 9:50:35 AM PDT by gattaca
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To: Mr. K
“Well, at least I’ll be able to get into Harvard.”

Just like a real bee, the sharpest point in the Bee is at the end.

8 posted on 04/19/2022 9:50:54 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (If Hitler invaded Hell, I would make at least a favourable reference of the Devil...-Churchill)
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To: dsrtsage
"It’s funny because it’s true"

Spot on. But the Bee is getting to be like watching an episode of M*A*S*H. You laugh one minute then cry the next.

What makes the Bee so funny is how accurate it is, which is also a really sad truth about our education "system".

9 posted on 04/19/2022 10:15:20 AM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: dayglored
I have a problem. After I read the Bee and switch to other headlines, including Free Republic, it takes a while not to think I'm still reading parody.
10 posted on 04/19/2022 10:25:28 AM PDT by Savage Beast (Saints are sinners who never gave up. --Saint Teresa of Avila)
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To: dsrtsage

“18-Year-Old Trying To File Her Taxes Wishing Her Teachers Had Spent Less Class Time On Polyqueer Trans Theory..”

81 year old trying to file his taxes wishing he had the authors of the tax code rounded up in a barbed wire compound.


11 posted on 04/19/2022 10:44:47 AM PDT by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: dayglored

MISC: a feminine pronoun


12 posted on 04/19/2022 11:37:23 AM PDT by Adder (Proud member of the FJBLGB community: /s is implied where applicable.)
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To: dayglored

“I really liked my math teacher Mx. Ryder”

Leaving me scratching my head as to what a Mx. is


13 posted on 04/19/2022 12:15:12 PM PDT by Zack Attack
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To: Savage Beast
> I have a problem. After I read the Bee and switch to other headlines, including Free Republic, it takes a while not to think I'm still reading parody.

You're not the only one with that problem. :-)

14 posted on 04/19/2022 2:47:30 PM PDT by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
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To: Zack Attack
> Leaving me scratching my head as to what a Mx. is

The clue is there:

...I wish they'd at least spent an hour or two on how to file your taxes. Their coming-out party in our fifth-grade class was equal parts stunning and brave...
Pronouns: they/their
Activity: "Coming-out party"

What you have there is an "Undefined". "Mx" is the title that applies to "Undefined", analogous to "Ms" or Mr" which are used by persons who know what they are, even if they aren't biologists.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

15 posted on 04/19/2022 2:54:07 PM PDT by dayglored ("Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government.")
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To: dayglored

LOL Thanks for clearing that up. :)

What I want to see is a word question on a test so convoluted with these pronouns that no one can answer it and pass.


16 posted on 04/19/2022 11:20:00 PM PDT by Zack Attack
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To: Bonemaker
81 year old trying to file his taxes wishing he had the authors of the tax code rounded up in a barbed wire compound.

You are not the only one!

17 posted on 04/20/2022 8:31:58 AM PDT by sima_yi ( Reporting live from the far North)
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To: sima_yi

👍


18 posted on 04/20/2022 9:05:03 AM PDT by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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