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Kindergartener Granted PhD In Biology After Correctly Distinguishing Boy From Girl. ( Humor )
Babylon Bee ^ | March 24th, 2022 - | Babylon Bee

Posted on 03/25/2022 10:32:50 AM PDT by george76

GAFFNEY, SC—Multiple five-year old witnesses confirm that their teacher, Miss Whifflestrom, dropped the class gerbil in awe after hearing brilliant young kindergartener Timothy correctly describe boys as having a penis and girls, a vagina. Within hours, young Timothy had been granted a PhD in Biology.

“We hereby grant the intellectual phenom, young Timothy Swanson this honored PhD in Biology for his work in clearly differentiating the subtle variations between Homosapien boys and girls,” said the chairman of the American Council of Biology PhDs, while handing a certificate to the young boy who only hours ago was sticking crayon shavings up his nose.

“Timothy is wrong. Gender is far more complicated than the binary reproductive differences associated with nearly every living creature on the planet,” said four-star admiral and U.S. Assistant Secretary for Health, Dr. Rachel Levine, while sticking crayon shavings up her nose. “All of the sciences prove its fluidity. Don’t ask for proof right now, I’m very busy crushing the aspirations of half of the American population rather than deal with my own disorder. Busy busy busy.”

News of the kindergartener’s ability to define both a boy and a girl eventually reached our nation’s leadership, who immediately shortlisted him for nomination to the United States Supreme Court.

At publishing time, a shocked Miss Whifflestrom reportedly sat on the class lizard after hearing the brilliant revelation from little Suzy, who said people should be judged by the content of their character, not the color of their skin.

This woman is an angry feminist -- but she's quickly changing her tune as World War 3 starts and she faces the possibility of getting drafted.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biology; boys; girls; humor; kbj; supremecourt; whatisawoman; woman
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1 posted on 03/25/2022 10:32:50 AM PDT by george76
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To: george76

Put that kid on the Supreme Court.


2 posted on 03/25/2022 10:36:19 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: george76

Idiocracy was a prophecy.


3 posted on 03/25/2022 10:38:58 AM PDT by glorgau
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To: glorgau

1984 was off by 38 years. Idiocracy was off by 483 years.


4 posted on 03/25/2022 10:44:28 AM PDT by KarlInOhio (If Hitler invaded Hell, I would make at least a favourable reference of the Devil...-Churchill)
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To: george76

I remember one of the silly statements by a kid in the movie “Kindergarten Cop” with Arnold S., was a boy who said boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.

But for a liberal such as Judge Brown-Jackson, we completely oversimplify things to talk in those terms.


5 posted on 03/25/2022 10:44:57 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego
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To: george76

Theres actually kind of this weird dual narrative in research circles. On the one hand what might surprise some here is that existence of sex and boy/girl is actually a fundamental and uncontroversial practically universally accepted fact among bio researchers at large, particularly among researchers engaged in quantitative work. I’ve seen several presentations where prominent academics from mainstream institutions take clear intentional shots skewering the gender neutral fad in the context of their work.

On the other hand the gender theorists and policy makers and higher ups that write the position statements and curriculum push the ‘sex is a made up social construct’ theory hard. And a lot of researchers are hardcore libtards or afraid so they adapt this doublethink position where they believe in the reality of sex but at the same time don’t apply it to humans. Or they don’t speak up or speak very softly.


6 posted on 03/25/2022 10:49:04 AM PDT by jarwulf
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To: george76

Nominate him for the Supreme Court. He will make history as the first kindergarten school person selected for the Supreme Court.


7 posted on 03/25/2022 11:03:10 AM PDT by Robert DeLong
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To: jarwulf

This reminds me of an episode of Star Trek, original series, in which some cloud creature was a companion to a human man on some unspecified planet. And they somehow discerned that the cloud creature was a female. And Captain Kirk said, to paraphrase, that male and female are universal constants across species of life.

Such dialogue would be censored today.


8 posted on 03/25/2022 11:04:51 AM PDT by Dilbert San Diego
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To: george76

Bookmark


9 posted on 03/25/2022 11:07:04 AM PDT by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they control you. )
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To: george76

Kudos once again to the BEE.


10 posted on 03/25/2022 11:13:16 AM PDT by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: george76

11 posted on 03/25/2022 11:13:46 AM PDT by Kevmo (Give back Ukes their Nukes https://freerepublic.com/focus/news/4044080/posts)
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To: Dilbert San Diego
Except for snakes (sometimes).


12 posted on 03/25/2022 11:13:53 AM PDT by Krosan
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To: george76

One day my brother in law took my then 3-year-old daughter to the park to play on swings and a merry go round, along with his not yet potty trained toddler daughter. My daughter announced that she needed to go to the bathroom, but the facilities there were all locked. My BIL encouraged her to relieve herself by a tree.

She promptly told him no, that boys have long privates while girls had short ones. They had to leave quickly, and go to the nearest fast food restaurant.

So even 3 year olds are smarter than the next Supreme Court Justice.


13 posted on 03/25/2022 11:14:44 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I wish “smart resume” would work for the real world so I could FF through the Biden admin BS.)
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To: george76; null and void

(as World War 3 starts and she faces the possibility of getting drafted)

🤔


14 posted on 03/25/2022 11:18:14 AM PDT by SaveFerris (The Lord, The Christ and The Messiah: Jesus Christ of Nazareth - http://www.BiblicalJesusChrist.Com/)
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To: george76
BabylonBee should have woven XX and XY being social constructs into that article somehow. LOL
15 posted on 03/25/2022 11:29:13 AM PDT by Red6
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To: Whenifhow; null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; AZ .44 MAG; Baynative; bgill; ...

p


16 posted on 03/25/2022 11:31:51 AM PDT by bitt ( <img src=' 'width=50%> )
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To: george76

Best yet


17 posted on 03/25/2022 11:32:46 AM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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To: george76


18 posted on 03/25/2022 11:37:03 AM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: george76; Liz; SunkenCiv
Multiple five-year old witnesses confirm that their teacher, Miss Whifflestrom, dropped the class gerbil in awe
after hearing brilliant young kindergartener Timothy correctly describe boys as having a penis and girls, a vagina. Within hours, young Timothy had been granted a PhD in Biology.

By God, nominate these kids for the Supreme Court...

19 posted on 03/25/2022 11:50:48 AM PDT by GOPJ (We can ignore reality, but we cannot ignore the consequences of ignoring reality. Ayn Rand)
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To: george76

Judge Brown will never live this down. She could have so easily avoided the ridicule she will get for the rest of her life.


20 posted on 03/25/2022 12:02:37 PM PDT by WASCWatch ( WASC)
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